Would you be interested in multi-generation living?

[CanadianJohn]

I have relatives in England. They have bought a very large house in the country (about 4 miles from a small city), and remodelled it so it has three entirely separate homes; separate entrances, living areas, kitchens, bathrooms, etc. The house was originally built as a small hotel/conference centre.

• They (in their 50's) live in one part;
• her parents (in their late 70's) live in another part;
• the third part is occupied by their daughter, her partner, and their children.

I have no idea how they work out "rent", etc.

Would you like to live like this, or would you prefer more distance from your relatives?

Not in a million years!

shudder at the very thought of that much close proximity.

Nope but that is because my parents and siblings would expect me to do everything and pay for everything!

No way 😆

I can only just manage now with my DH semi retired.
I wouldn't want other people about who may talk to me.

We have a similar setup with DHs mum. So far it's going okay.

In theory. Yes. With all the right legal stuff in place. And clear boundaries from the outset.
We go on holiday as a whole family at least once a year. 3 generations in one large property. Every year I think - living
together like this could be so brilliant if done right. Company and support on tap. Easy childcare solutions. Easy support for elders when required.
It would work for our family I think.

It would work if the family all liked each other and respected each other's boundaries. Otherwise no

I would absolutely love this and have often wished I had had the opportunity to do it. Obviously it helps if you really enjoy your family’s company (my family are way above and beyond any other company for me).

I would be very happy with this idea, of seperate but linked space.

but we have found that if we add what we can afford to what my parent can afford, we don't end up with separate space. We just end up with a normal house but a the downstairs reception room is now a bedroom or similar.

I then have to factor that my siblings would want a 'share' of the part my parents owned and I'd have no way to release that without selling my home.

I live in a big house with DH and 3 off my children. My eldest dd has a whole floor to herself (bf stays 4x a week) she has bedroom with ensuite, a living room and a tiny kitchen area. My big washing machine and freezers in out house. Shes saving to buy and we will obviously help so mortgage isnt crippling. I also have a annexe that's just being kitted out as my dad has dementia and my mum struggles so they come here sometimes, they only live 1.5 miles but mum especially enjoys the break. So whilst I wouldn't want to live on top of each other I'd happy share my space.

Absolutely not

God no.
We're doing a version of it and i regret it bitterly.

Got the T-shirt. Never again. I could write a book!

Mostly me and DP felt like we were brother and sister because decent sex was out the window and we were constantly put out by his mum’s strange and selfish behaviour.

Yes, I would. I'd love to have any combination of my parents, my sisters and my children living separately but shoulder to shoulder with me.

I'd have absolutely loved that arrangement but, sadly, that opportunity has gone.

No

Looked into it with MIL. But didnt get there before she passed.

With mil I would have done (Fill to but he passed 21 yeara ago mil only 6)

My mother and stepdad or dad absolutely not.

My kids yes Id love it.

I would consider it with my child but only because they have some level of additional needs and so it might be necessary, at least into their young adulthood.

Absolutely not with either set of parents - love them dearly but no way do I want to
share property with them or in any way be legally or financially tied with them. I wouldn’t mind them being nearby, but not in my house or in any kind of jointly owned property. Both my parents and particularly my in-laws made it crystal clear, both verbally and in the treatment of their own parents, that they didn’t want that either, and I will hold them to it!

If the house was big enough we all had our own space I would. My parents are getting older and although we are only a 10 min drive away I worry about one of them falling or something like that.

with the right sized property and set up yes.

Yes but would have to think carefully about layout and spaces. Eg older generation wanting and needing their own living space initially but as they become very infirm only need a room or two.

Only if it was like that or like a small castle so we could live completely independently. I could deal with it better if was my family more than his - like most people probably.

ILs had a large rural property that could easily have been divided into three independent living spaces, with potential for a further living space for a live in carer. It would have been quite expensive but way cheaper than four lots of care home fees.

If you can do it I think it's a brilliant model for future living, but everyone needs their own front door and private space. Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen shares a house with his daughters and their families.

I could but my dh wouldn’t entertain such an arrangement. He finds small/ young ppl very hard work. He was always working when ours were v little and hence avoided much of the issues with young children.

I would but only when it became necessary.