Would you be interested in multi-generation living?

[CanadianJohn]

I have relatives in England. They have bought a very large house in the country (about 4 miles from a small city), and remodelled it so it has three entirely separate homes; separate entrances, living areas, kitchens, bathrooms, etc. The house was originally built as a small hotel/conference centre.

• They (in their 50's) live in one part;
• her parents (in their late 70's) live in another part;
• the third part is occupied by their daughter, her partner, and their children.

I have no idea how they work out "rent", etc.

Would you like to live like this, or would you prefer more distance from your relatives?

When hell freezes over!
(I dont even live with my husband)

Not a chance! How long before the daughter is a carer for her parents, grandparents and own dc?! Not in a million!!

I would love it.

My own mum yes, husbands mother not in a million fucking years 😂

@Feelingggroggy Yes, my Mum would’ve been brilliant to live with. My Dad not so much. He expects to ge waited on hand and foot!

I wouldn’t care if it was the size of Buckingham Palace, attached to a waterpark and it was given to me for free, I still wouldn’t live with anyone but DH, and my children if they needed care. I don’t want my family constantly knowing my whereabouts or if I’m home by the car on the drive, phoning me expecting help with trivial things because I can easily “pop round”, “popping round” themselves etc. Plus if they needed elder care the assumption that DH and I would do it all because we lived there. Nor would I want the sort of financial ties involved in either jointly owned property or one party living in someone else’s house, paying rent or not.

I want at least a few minutes drive between me and my parents or in-laws. I love them and I don’t want to fall out with them and I absolutely would if we lived in the same place.

No. My parents were emotionally abusive and have mh problems. Why would I inflict that on my own child?

I have no kids, and am NC with my dad... so nope!

Yes, in a big enough house. Plus sufficient bathrooms and probably a second small kitchen. I get a glimpse of it when I stay with family. Always someone around for the kids, to bring laundry in, empty dishwasher etc.

Absolutely. Not.

Just the thought is horrific!

Yep, if. We're older and single.

No. Did it with mil. No private time alone with dh ever. Not even watching tv. Awful

My cousin lived in a split house like this with her husband and kids in her half and her parents in the other half. I think it was great for the younger house but I know my aunt and uncle grew to resent being 'on tap childcare'.

It lasted about 10 years, though, and I know they all benefited as well as some downsides.

@SirEctor Yes, I don’t think it’s fair to expect on tap childcare, especially if the older generation are the ones making it financially possible.

Sounds wonderful for some. But not my family. Probably because we would kill each other

No, I don't even want to hear other people, I'd prefer to be and live like the old witch near a bog in the forest who people only ever come by accidentally when they really need something.

Otherwise I want to be left alone.

No!

I love this idea, but I like my family 😆 they would have to be completely separate houses though. I grew up with my paternal grandmother because she lived with is and it was wonderful (my mum probably didn't think so though!)

Absolutely not! My idea of hell!

I'd absolutely bloody love it.
Luckily both my daughters and Grandkids live only a 10 min walk from house.. we all lice in a 2 Mike radius from each other.
See each other at least twice a week.. very close and loving.
I'd love a house like this.. but with a huge garden too..

With my parents in law, sister in law and nephews/ nieces I think it would be lovely, especially with our kids/grandkids and families down the line. With my biological family, I would rather live at HMP Bronzefield for the rest of my life instead.

I don’t think DH would be as keen but I find most multigenerational homes I’ve been around are so full of love and support.

Bingo. I'd get the same.

Its depressing isn't it there is always one in the family that seems to be used.

Yes, I’d love this. Currently my family live scattered in various parts of the UK but we are very emotionally close and get together several times a year for a week or two as a large extended family at Easter, Christmas, summer plus some weekends for some special occasions etc.

We have actually talked about doing something like this if and when we all live in the same part of the UK, and think everyone is up for the idea in theory - including my siblings’ spouses!

I think there could be a lot of benefits to this sort of arrangement but you’d definitely have to all get on well as an extended family and also have a lot of respect for each other. I think it would work well in our case.

What happens when parents get older, don’t need full-time care but can’t get out and about, especially after one of them passes. You would need to be their companion or they end up sitting on their own most of the time

eggzackerly!
rod for your own back innit!