"Maybe I’m slightly desensitised after working in a special school, but I don’t think being grabbed momentarily, over clothing, when no injury occurred, by a person who has an intellectual disability, did not intend to harm, and who was supervised by someone that was able to de escalate the problem almost immediately, is that traumatic a life experience for someone who has chosen to take on a public facing job."
You don't think being momentarily grabbed (incident) is that traumatic a life experience for someone who has chosen to take on a public facing job
It's not projection when it's what you wrote, it's a response. What do you mean by that paragraph, and especially the last sentence? For clarity? If as you now say I am projecting? Did I misunderstand?
And I really don't think that checking on the well being of the young lady is that unreasonable, yes in all likelihood the carer is overwhelmed and we all know the reasons why that happens, but that doesn't mean we put up and shut up about the results and how they affect everyone. It wasn't the carer that de-escalated initially, it was another customer by grabbing the young man's arm to prevent further touching, the carer then removed him. But as you say we're free to disagree on that point.
I do think this needs to be reported, not least because it will add weight if this carer is overwhelmed, it will highlight that they need that help. Without identity then it's really only the police that can record something like this. The police aren't just there to punish people, they're there to help too, and increasingly ensuring that people are put on the radar of the appropriate services. As someone who worked with people with mental illness and disability, sometimes the only time we were taken seriously reporting concerns was when the police were involved, because it added weight to those concerns that we as care workers just didn't have. We didn't report it to get them locked up or punished, we reported to get the extra help that was desperately needed.
And yes I agree with your last paragraph, it would be different were this a young lady or someone younger doing the grabbing. But that's not because the young man has autism or LD, it's because he's male, and that isn't plucked out of thin air, it's because younger children and females don't pose the same risk as males around and past teenage years. Because male to female violence, including sexual violence is more common than small child or female to female.
It's not a forgone conclusion that this was, or wasn't, sexual in nature, but I can see how with the circumstances of several males actually wearing name badges being present but not approached, and the female present was, it can be interpreted that way.
As already mentioned I have also worked with people with autism, LD and mental illness, and some of them were sexually inappropriate, some physically with no sexual intent, but they didn't have the understanding that touching of any nature, needs to be consensual. That doesn't need to be punished, it can't be changed, but it does need to be managed appropriately. Simply saying "It happens because carers are overwhelmed and disabled people have the right to be in public, so we all just have to deal with it" is doing everyone involved a disservice imo.