He’s hit me and I don’t know what to do

[ThinkINeedHelp]

I’m crying and I probably won’t make much sense but please try to help me see straight.
Had an awful evening. I know it started as my fault. I was cross as trying to house train two puppies but it’s been a bad day with them today. I was a bit annoyed and swore. I didn’t swear at anyone, it was a case of oh ffs, this is getting ridiculous.

He was angry with me and we argued. It’s eventually ended up with him grabbing my wrists, shoving me against the bedroom wall and then hitting me in the face. My nose hurts, so does my shoulder.

I’m now going to be homeless. I’ve no family, no friends anymore, don’t work and I live in his house. I’m so utterly pathetic.i can’t drive as I’ve had two glasses of wine but come tomorrow I’ll have to leave.
I’ve allowed myself to end up in this position , I’m in my late 50’s and I can’t believe I’ve been so bloody stupid.

You are doing so well OP. Enjoy the rest of your life without the thug.

Just to say, hope everything is going well. Good luck for tomorrow, in your new job. Hope it’s just as you want it to be. 🌺

Please contact Women's Aid, they can provide you with accommodation. It's never your fault when someone else assaults you. Don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like a poop situation.

Sympathies. X

OP's thread has had over 500 posts since the original post that you have quoted.

Thinking of you, OP, and wishing you well for your first day. Hope it's not too far to travel.

Ex’s daughter phoned me last night, asking if I was ok and where I was, obviously I didn’t give any details.
She did sound genuinely concerned about me, however, she also said her dad was extremely upset that I’d walked out without any explanation or warning.
I really didn’t want to go into all the details with her but I asked her how upset she thought I might be that I felt the need to walk out of my home with only two bags of belongings? She seemed quite taken aback by that. I could hear some talking in the background, I’m pretty sure she was with him when she phoned.

I’m a bit nervous about my job tomorrow but I’m sure it will be fine, the neighbour tells me that they’re a great bunch and it’s only ten minutes away so that’s good.

Another week and you'll have settled into your job and be even happier. That's a certainty.
Block the daughter!!!!!

‘Extremely upset’…
So first you got silence.
Then heartfelt pics of the dogs.
Now the daughter.
What next? Is he going to ring Donald Trump
to intervene?
He’s furious his housekeeper has gone and he can’t abuse her.
What will the neighbours say? Who cares? You’ve got new neighbours.
Good luck tomorrow. You deserve it!

I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to report you missing next. I'd maybe tell your local police station you've left this guy and think he may pull some shit to try find you. That you are safe and left and show the text you sent him saying you aren't going back.

Other tactics may include telling your family they think you've gone crazy. And calling you from unknown numbers.

Good luck tomorrow op!

Great answer to the daughter! Good luck tomorrow!!

Congratulations on the new job.
And he obviously has not told his daughter how badly he has treated you . And now using her to try to guilt you into contact.

It sounds like you handled it really well

Good luck tomorrow OP! ♥️ You are a superstar.

As expected the abuse tactics continue. This time he’s enrolled his daughter to emotionally manipulate you. He doesn’t deserve your protection from the truth of his behaviour.

Well done OP for leaving your abusive relationship. Sending you all the strength and hope, you deserve it. I love Mumsnet for this reason, the moral support 🩷

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure he’d want to inform the police, it might just blow up in his face regarding his abuse of me.

I assume his daughter will now be wondering what did actually happen for me to leave in those circumstances, she certainly isn’t daft.

@PeggyMitchellsCameo housekeeper is spot on! He’s frequently told me I’m so easily replaceable, get someone else to cook and clean and they’d do a better job.
I think he may now realise how much I did. All dog related stuff
All cleaning
All cooking
Virtually all the gardening
All gift, card buying and sending
All food shopping

What are the bets he'll be roping his daughter into all the slave work now. Poor thing.

Just for the record, you are brave. Courage is not about feeling no fear. Courage is about feeling the fear, but no longer letting it control you. So, yes, you are clearly brave.

@ThinkINeedHelp

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure he’d want to inform the police, it might just blow up in his face regarding his abuse of me.

Even if he does (and I don't think he will) the police aren't going to tell him shit. I had a friend this happened to and when she was contacted by the police she told them the truth, that she was fine and had left him and for her own safety she didn't want him to know where she was nor any further contact from him. The police simply let him know that she had 'disappeared' of her own volition as she was entitled to do. And that 'for his own good' he needed to let her be.

I think you handled his DD perfectly. Yes, you could have told her the truth, but he would have simply said you were lying so why put her square in the middle of 'he said/she said'. Far better to just let her draw her own conclusions.

You’re brilliant OP. Your response to the daughter is excellent!!!

You're going to ace your first day at work!
Enjoy it!

Every good wish for tomorrow

I know. Not nearly in the same ball park as OP, but I can imagine he’s very controlling with his daughter, too.

Don't look back OP you aren't going that way!

Have a great first day at work. It's meant to be, very few people get a job from a new neighbour within an hour. Very impressive so far.

You have already reconnected with DSB, I very rarely use the "dear D" but this time it seems totally applicable, been on a memory lane, new memories break to the seaside, got a job (I have a feeling it won't be part-time for long) and you continuously show humour and dignity in your writing and actions. These are diminishing qualities in this day and age.

I for one can't wait to read what you do next!

Keep on with the updates you deserve all the luck and happiness this summer.

(Wear comfortable footwear tomorrow if you are going to be on your feet) :-)

You're amazing @ThinkINeedHelp and doing brilliantly !

Wishing you the very best of luck tomorrow, hope your first day goes well for you.

Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow OP. You're going to smash it

Good luck for tomorrow OP!