Today we went to a tourist spot, sat on a wall and ate fish and chips. I had to buy some flip flops, my feet haven’t forgiven me for yesterday and then we wandered along the sea front.
We people watched, sat on the sand, then this afternoon we went to a cafe that’s been open forever, and I had a banana split.
Another voice mail and texts today, asking when I was planning on going back. I felt like sending a photo of my feet on the sand and saying never. I didn’t.
My step brother showed me a photo he took yesterday afternoon, he said I looked like the old me. He was right, I definitely looked more like me, less tense.
We talked about my plans. My sb, is more than happy for me to stay with him, the difference I feel after these last few days is huge. I can’t see any future with that man now.
Id become so used to his put downs that it really had become just part of my life, mimicking my voice, constantly criticising. I don’t want that to be my normal anymore.
Thinking about my stuff, I’m not sure I want anything, clothes I can replace, I’ve got the documents I needed, pension, life insurance etc as I keep them in a folder, also passport and driving license. All bank stuff is on my phone, plus I have my cards.
Photos, all photos over the last ten years are on my phone, old pictures I suppose I’ll have to do without. Truth is that I can’t remember the last time I looked at them and although it would be nice to have them, is it worth the hassle? Probably not.
So I’ve sent him a message, told him that
I have decided I’m not going back, said I wish him no ill, I love and miss the dogs but that I want to live my life with happiness not fear.
His number is now blocked