He’s hit me and I don’t know what to do

[ThinkINeedHelp]

I’m crying and I probably won’t make much sense but please try to help me see straight.
Had an awful evening. I know it started as my fault. I was cross as trying to house train two puppies but it’s been a bad day with them today. I was a bit annoyed and swore. I didn’t swear at anyone, it was a case of oh ffs, this is getting ridiculous.

He was angry with me and we argued. It’s eventually ended up with him grabbing my wrists, shoving me against the bedroom wall and then hitting me in the face. My nose hurts, so does my shoulder.

I’m now going to be homeless. I’ve no family, no friends anymore, don’t work and I live in his house. I’m so utterly pathetic.i can’t drive as I’ve had two glasses of wine but come tomorrow I’ll have to leave.
I’ve allowed myself to end up in this position , I’m in my late 50’s and I can’t believe I’ve been so bloody stupid.

'guess' what you like.

i didn't say she shouldn't have got out, I said I would have taken the dog & puppies. I wouldn't trust him not to abuse them.

she has a car & money (easy to transport them. Can pay for airbnb if something where dogs are allowed)

she's made a different choice & thinks they'll be safe with him, I've just said I hope she's right.

Have a look at flat mate.com for somewhere inexpensive you can stay in the interim. Is there nobody you can reach out to? I’m so sorry you’re going through this

Well done. Have only just come across this thread.

Stay safe. And please report this. You mentioned he's hit you before and you said your friends have all disappeared over the last 20 years. That's isolating behaviour from him to corner you.

Likewise him 'holding the house over you'. In an ideal world he should be the one having to leave the property not you

You’re so brave OP, well done.

Really hope you are ok and well done for getting away from him! You can do this

Agree with this OP. If he starts leaving voicemails, either angry or possibly sobbing and Please Forgive me waaaaah, RECORD IT.

You mentioned that he's hit you before. Do you remember the dates of this. Get a notebook if you haven't already and start noting down dates.

I think there are some phone apps too that can be used to discreetly record evidence of abuse.
(Is he tech savvy? Does he know your phone PIN code? If he does think about changing it). and possibly he might try and be surveillance if there are apps on your phone you don't recognise

Good luck!

Good point, might he have put a tracker in your car? He sounds the type.

Hope you're okay OP. Don't feel like you can't come back here even if you're back at home. You've had your eyes opened to the possibility of leaving and that's the beginning.

I hope you're still away from him - he sounds like one of the vilest men I've read about in my 20 years on MN - but if not, we're here. Keep talking to us

Hi OP. I have just read your thread and it’s brought tears to my eyes .
I hope you’re sleeping right now and safe .
I don’t normally post on other people’s threads but I felt I had to on yours.
I was you last year . Last October actually . I’ve actually been reading all the posts on here and some of the posters actually commented on mine and supported me . One whom is a very dear friend to me now . A friend I never knew I needed until she came into my life .
I too left an abusive relationship, I was kicked out actually . Kicked out after spending more than 3 weeks in hospital due to a complication of cancer treatment . When I got discharged I had to get a taxi home and within 5 mins of me being back ex told me he has met somebody else and kicked me out . I had nothing , no money , a small suitcase of belongings because he’d burnt the rest and I was paralysed down my right side due to having cancer treatment .
I was absolutely broken and I’m not just saying that. The first night in my hotel that the council provided for me I got mugged getting cash from a cash point as the restaurant wasn’t taking card payments and I needed a soft drink . I’m not going to lie and say it was easy because it wasn’t . I didn’t want to be here anymore I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up .
I actually wrote my own thread on MN which ended up being 4 parts and I met the most amazing supportive women I’ve ever come across in my life . Even to this day the kindness of strangers on here brings tears to my eyes . They lifted me up when I was literally on the floor .
What I wanted to say was i felt like my world had ended , it did in a way but I didn’t realise then that it ended for the better .
9 months later I’m in my own home which I fought tooth and nail for . I’m happy , calm , content and am also in remission from cancer . I’m me again and one day not too far ahead you will be you again . Please believe me when I say that . Yes it wasn’t easy but do you know what ? I’d go through it all again to have the life I have now . Sometimes it felt like I was wading through mud but I truly believe that’s the best way to go forward because you honestly don’t know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice .
You’re doing the hardest part right now and you’ve already shown your strength by getting away. I’m so so proud of you . I wish I could give you a cuddle because when I was in your situation that’s all I wanted . I actually got one from a policewoman which was lovely.
If you ever need to chat I’ll always be here or you can pm me . Everybody had already given you such great advice and support but having been through it myself I can understand how you’re feeling . I know it feels lonely and I know there doesn’t seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel but I promise there is .
I used to tell myself to ‘just keep swimming’ from finding nemo. Sending you so much love sweetheart and thinking of you xxxx

THIS is why I stay on MN. Because when the chips are really down there's nowhere like it.

It's amazing to hear how you're doing now, from where you were. I still cannot believe how cruel the bastard was. I sm in awe of your grit & determination.

remission 🤗🥰

💕

I don't want to detract from @ThinkINeedHelp post, but I was so happy to read your update.

There are so many times over the years where posters have chosen to remain in their situation (I do get that you didn't have a choice though), because the unknown going forward is just too much of a daunting thought. And although it's been such a shitty time for you, now you are able to breathe. I too had been in this cycle, and it's such a cliché thing to say, but somehow things do work out in some way or another. Never usually planned, but our circle keeps moving.

I hope you had a somewhat of a peaceful night OP, keep strong and one step at a time today. You have got this, keep your circle moving my love.

To be honest, that's the very least I'd have wished on him !!! He's a cruel, nasty, vile abuser and deserves anything bad that may come to him. But that's just my opinion.

OP, today is the first day of the rest of your life. Be strong, and don't be afraid to take your next steps into that new life. There's help out there for you, just you go get it and look forward to being happy again. You CAN do it.

How I see it is that by wishing someone like him a horrible event, is taking energy from me. Should something happen to them though, I would feel feathers.

But we are all different I agree. Having come out the other side, I choose to live with positive thoughts, and more peacefully as a result.

Good morning everyone. Thanks for your kind messages.
I slept in and off.
Good god @Imbluedalale how horrendous you’ve been treated, I’m so pleased your doing ok now
Im not concerned about the puppies tbh, he’d walk through fire for the dogs, never so much as a raised voice with them.
I switched my phone on around six and I’ve not had any messages from him.

Ive been busy applying for some jobs online and looking at house shares. Feeling a bit wobbly but I’m ok.

Anyone worried she hasn’t posted anything since ? Let us all know you are ok hun 🙏🏻

Perfect timing 😁 phew I’m glad you are ok 👍 Only way is up from now .

Well done op.
I still think you can report to the police and this thread might be good evidence x

It's the start of your new life. You will have wobbles. Take each moment as it comes and soon enough that'll turn to minutes, hours and days. You'll be OK. Keep talking to us and we'll get you through it.

Pop out for some fresh air and have a good rest when you gt back

Of course you feel wobbly OP, you’ve taken a massive step.
Just look after yourself. You’ve had some amazing advice here, so please take it, especially about logging details of abuse and seriously consider reporting what he’s done. He sounds like he could do this again in the future. Screenshot any messages from him too, in case he later deletes them. He might be thinking that you’ll return, and when you don’t he might up the abuse.

Am proud of you, and all the strong posters on here with similar experiences.

Sending you the biggest hug from the other end of the world.

Keep this fire in you going strong. He is probably thinking you are going to walk in the door any moment. Joke is on him though.

You have got this.

Good luck with the job applications, It’s worth having a wander round today to drop some cvs off.

I don’t know you but I’m so proud of you and what you’ve done. It’s easy for us all to offer advice and say what we’d do but real life is very different.
You’ve done the really difficult part and some wobbles are to be expected so don’t worry about them.
Your life will get better - you are a star and will be giving lots of strength to all those poor women in similar situations.

Fantastic update. I'm moved by your posts and you're an inspiration to the many women in similar situations.
I'm glad you got some rest
One step at a time as it's easy to be overwhelmed.

Just read all your posts
Well done!!