Most batshit thing you did with your PFB

[Eastie77Returns]

Chatting to friends today about the funniest/craziest/omg what was I thinking things we did with our firstborn DC.

When DD was a few months old she fell out of a small ‘smart’ baby swing that gently rocked her and played music. It was a very small fall onto carpeted floor and she didn’t even cry. I screamed in panic and took her to A&E. But before leaving I took a video of the smart swing so the doctors could see exactly how it rotated and I measured the distance from the floor to the rocker so they had that crucially important information as well. At the hospital I think I asked more than once if she needed a brain scan and huffed and puffed when the nurse gently said no😭 No-one was interested in watching the video either!

Hahaha - also came on to mention your story, @Hoppinggreen, didn’t know it was you but I’ve never seen it beaten on one of these threads 😂

I wouldn’t peel but the NHS recommends quartering grapes till age 4 as they are a high chocking risk. It stressed me out to see them only halved at baby groups but then I’m still on child one lol

As a first time mum I think I was quite reasonable but my mum wasn't, despite being grandma to 4 other children. She insisted I'd weight the baby before and after a breastfeeding session to see how much milk he had drunk. Once he was not gaining much weight because had an GI bug and she suggested I took a sample of my milk to the doctor because probably it didn't have enough nutrients. She didn't breastfeed any of her children and clearly didn't have much trust in breastfeeding. Happy to say I managed to continue my breastfeeding journey and just ignored her crazy ideas.

I’d sit on the floor in silence outside his bedroom door, which was have open, very quietly turning the newspaper over to read when my eldest had naps. Did this from when he was just over a year for about a month m. then with the hard floor and a numb bum what am I doing! Closed ho bedroom door, sat and watched tv with a coffee I

@ttcat37No one is laughing at you, or at new mums. Posters sharing their stories are laughing at themselves because now that some years have passed since their PFB, they see things a little differently in retrospect and see that they worried too much about things that are quite small things in the grand scheme of raising a human to adulthood.

I don’t know how or why you are taking people’s personal anecdotes as criticisms of you, but I can assure you none of these posters are intending to offend or upset anyone. This is not bullying and that’s quite an extreme accusation.

Depending on how long ago poster is talking about. But weaning started at 3 months

Accidentally nipped her fingertip with (clean, new) nail clippers at about 7 weeks old. Contacted the health visitor distraught because she hadn't had her tetanus vaccine yet and I was convinced she was at risk of developing it.

This just made me snort 😆

Nowt wrong with chopped up grapes. Not sure about the peeling. Whole grapes can choke children under 5. Maybe older !

Rushed my PFB to a&e thinking she had brain fluid leaking out of her ear (it was wet after her nap). Was kindly informed by the Dr that I was just dribble and she was likely teething 🤦‍♀️

I got one of these off my daughter for my first (currently only) baby grandson! I got it online, several pages. TBH, it was very helpful, although, I have had three children so probably would have figured it out!

There is nothing as scary as the thought of something bad happening with your precious baby, it’s only once you’ve been there and done that you realise they’re fairly resilient! So, I’m happy (ish 😁) to appease some of the more restrictive institutions!

I wasn’t being cheeky! Re-read my post and realised it sounded like I was making fun of you!
I meant it always gets brought up with people laughing about it but it really doesn’t deserve everyone laughing so much! We all did stupid and crazy things.

This is hilarious! Nothing to add but I'm sure I did some crazy things!

DD aged 3.5 weeks. Drove to John Lewis to get DHs birthday present, DD in pram. Chose present, bought and paid for it... and walked out of shop and up the hill, without her.

What was that about maternal instincts...heightened protective mechanisms, hypervigilance...?

She's now 28 and no signs of Adverse Childhood Events or trauma. Me, on the other hand; have never forgiven myself.

These are all hilarious!

I remember booking and attending a G.P appt as I was concerned my son had very big 'big' toes...

When DD was a toddler she insisted that both DH and I sit next to her bed while she fell asleep. One of us had to stroke the bridge of her nose and the other one had to sing. We kept this lunacy up for about 6 months. Looking back it was utter insanity! What on earth were we thinking?! By the time we got out of her room the evening was over it took so long.

I did that 8 times with ds

He was my third but I didn't know I was pregnant with him until the Monday and gave birth on the Saturday

I left him at home (twice!) in his bouncy chair,at the shops,with his grandad,on the bus,at the bus stop,in my mates garden in his car seat (got all the way home before the penny dropped) and at school (I just left him in the corner of the classroom and wandered off (the teachers thought it was hilarious)

It was like my brain hadn't caught up with the fact id had a baby and I'm sure the raging pnd didn't help

He's 25 now,has a great career,has just made me a grandma and has forgiven me (or rather he thought it was funny and gave me a hug)

We laugh about it but I felt like shit at the time

Crawled backwards out of the room so I wouldn't wake him up, avoiding all the squeaky floorboards. That one was actually necessary, and honestly I would have done ANYTHING if it got him to sleep in the cot and not on me. ANY. THING.

He's still a fairly shit sleeper now and he's 11.

I cried (loudly) when DH took DD out in the buggy and turned her seat outwards for the first time - without me. I sobbed I’m not ready for her not to face me.

I woke my DD up, aged 8 weeks because I couldn't see her breathing. She screamed the house down until the next feed.
Never did that again ! And my Mother laughed about it when I told her. Cheek of her.
Re cutting babies nails ; my Mother had to come round and do it as I was so frightened of cutting their fingers. With all 3 !

I took my 5 month old DD to a baby group where there were lots of older (but still little) babies. I was so on edge the whole time because, you know, germs, and when one child touched her hands I left, drove her home, washed her hands and cried about it. For goodness sake. I'm embarrassed at myself 8 years later 😀

Oh and the first time she slept a stretch of 6 hours instead of enjoying the rest I sat there watching her panicking that she was never going to wake up.

Oh how I relate to this❤It was like a flashback to 5 years ago, down to the crying over literal spilt milk. One night, after spending about 45 mins pumping a miniscule amount of milk in the middle of the night, I walked into the kitchen to wash the breast pump etc and without thinking, chucked what I had just pumped into the sink. I still can’t believe I did that….

I bought sunglasses for my 2 month old. They don't stay on, stick into his brain when he's lying down, are completely unnecessary under his (very expensive coordinating) pram parasol and he's still waiting for his baby yacht to need the polarised lenses. Plus they cost more than my sunglasses. They're very cute though! DH should confiscate my phone while I'm breast feeding.

Yeah, the advice changes. It changes all the time.

One day you will be that grandmother and trust me, all this stuff that you believe is correct and the Only Right Way to Do It will utterly horrify your grandchild's mother.