Most batshit thing you did with your PFB

[Eastie77Returns]

Chatting to friends today about the funniest/craziest/omg what was I thinking things we did with our firstborn DC.

When DD was a few months old she fell out of a small ‘smart’ baby swing that gently rocked her and played music. It was a very small fall onto carpeted floor and she didn’t even cry. I screamed in panic and took her to A&E. But before leaving I took a video of the smart swing so the doctors could see exactly how it rotated and I measured the distance from the floor to the rocker so they had that crucially important information as well. At the hospital I think I asked more than once if she needed a brain scan and huffed and puffed when the nurse gently said no😭 No-one was interested in watching the video either!

My DS was born 17 years ago, by which time the advice was to wean at 6 months and not before. DS was 9lbs at birth and continued on the same percentile. He was an absolute milk monster, and the more he fed, the more I produced (bf was more difficult with my first DC so this was a pleasant change). Honestly, if I didn’t value my anonymity, I’d share a photo of him at 2 months- he was an absolute unit 😂

My mum and MIL both wondered out loud if I should ‘give him a bit of baby rice’ before 6 months because surely he was hungry, but it didn’t seem necessary as he was thriving so I carried on with ebf . At 6 months, we offered solid foods daily but DS wasn’t interested. He eventually starting eating at about 8 months. Just to illustrate that while some babies might be ready for solid foods sooner, not all need them- even the bigger babies!

Used to rock DS to sleep in his pushchair in the front room with very loud white noise on for hours so he’d nap.

In contrast, I once found DD asleep under a table where I’d forgotten about her.

Oh bless you, I hope they were very kind to you. Given the traumatic history.

Yeah, it is a bit strange. A lot of people are more in the ‘he usually goes to sleep for an hour or two in the afternoon’ camp. It can be a bit restrictive otherwise, especially when you have other children and are out during the day.

@OhHellolittleone, I think it was unnecessary in my situation. In retrospect, I just think two sides of A4 was overkill 😂 Partly it revealed to me that we had created very complex routines and conditions around getting the baby to sleep which was of no benefit to any of us! With my second DC, I was a lot less rigid about routine and everything felt much more relaxed.

Oh gosh... so I was petrified of PFB suffocating in his car seat when he was sleeping. It was a seat suitable from birth up so I'm sure it was actually fine but I was convinced he couldn't breathe properly when he went to sleep with his head a bit forward leaning. There were so many car journeys with me sat in the front seat with my arm stretched back holding up a sleeping babies head. I must have looked absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, my first who I put on the youtubes for is way ahead in reading and maths. I went the other way with number 2 with no youtube very early learning program and hes not as academically inclined and hates reading. I can't work out if it is nature or nurture😂

I visited a friend a few days after her first was born. She was weepy and anxious that the baby's poo was a funny colour. I checked and reassured her.

My friend is a CONSULTANT PAEDIATRICIAN. It didn't save her from the crazy.

Yes, obviously it’s ’touched a nerve’ (and well done maintaining the delightful patronising tone btw). It’s the sneery, bullying, bitchy kind of thing that gets said every day on any post where a new mum posts about a concern. It’s absolutely not reassuring at all to a new mum. It’s undermining and patronising.

Omg I've just remembered one 🤣🤣

My son was premature and jaundice. He was struggling to feed and losing weight and during the time I was trying to feed enough for him to gain weight I was told not to take him outside.
The midwife came out and said he looked jaundice and I should make sure he's getting direct sunlight. Being in front of the window wasn't enough as it filters UV.

So I would open the lounge window and present him to the sun like rafiki presenting Simba at the start of the lion king.

There’s always one! It’s just a lighthearted thread and I can’t believe anyone could possibly be offended by it!

I regularly took the batter off fish fingers too! I also remember when I cooked peas to put into a puree or fish pie to be puréed, I’d ‘skin’ the peas. Took me bloody ages!!! DC2 didn’t get that treatment!

Rang the health visitor when pfb was 2 weeks old in tears because I measured his head and I thought it had grown too fast since birth.

Why was I measuring his head? Why would this have been a problem? Who knows!

@TouchOfSilverShampoo "Fucking batshit. By the third I threw the kid at her and said keep it alive I’ll see you tomorrow."

😂

I remember that one too

I’ve got one from my second born.

I’d been up reading in the night, I’m sure it was on mumsnet, about a dad that fell down the stairs holding his baby and the baby ended up in hospital with a cracked skull.

The next morning, I was going downstairs holding my baby and just froze. I started crying my eyes out and my husband had to take my son from me so I could get downstairs.

I’m putting it down to being absolutely exhausted as my second just didn’t not sleep. Three and a half years later, and sleep still hasn’t improved much but I’m less worried about the stairs!

Struggled to breast feed so ended up using formula. Had a hungry baby but didn’t think i was allowed to give him more then the instructions said on the pack.
So if it said for a 6 week baby feed 6oz that’s what he got, never 7 oz despite him draining the bottle and crying. My friend explained that it was just a guide!! Baby much happier after that!!

My son and DIL had 1st baby 3 weeks ago, they are the most chilled 1st time parents ever, we are so lucky
now I was a different story with my 1st, thank god they not like that

But this thread’s title asked what batshit thing you DID with your PFB. It’s not bashing any new mums at all!
It’s people who have done batshit things in the past (apart from cutting grapes and cherry tomatoes because that’s super sensible) and having a laugh at ourselves.
I’d hope it might actually help some new mums to not feel quite so pressured to get every little thing right.

With my pfb I tried to sterilise the infacol dropper! I couldn’t breast feed so she went onto formula but I used to tie myself up in knots if I had the right amount of powder, had to ask my mum to come round one day and pre-measure out a days worth of feeds as I had driven myself crazy! Second dd much more relaxed

These are so funny
I used to hand wash all PFB clothes . No washing machine was deemed fit enough for my baby
Dh and I once had a massive argument because he put PFB clothes in the washing machine . I was furious and threw out all the clothes because I didn’t want PFB to be contaminated by all the bacteria from the washing machine
PFB clothing was changed a minimum of three times a day
If PFB’s dummy fell on the floor , it would go through a three stage sterilisation process

Fast forward.. when dc2 and dc3 arrived
All clothes got thrown in the washing machine and a dummy that had fallen on the floor was wiped on my clothing

For the love of god. Please hide this thread, as it’s obviously upsetting you, until you are ready to start one called “Batshit responses you’ve had to lighthearted threads”.

Took him to a rave, but that's probably batshit in the other direction!

I still do that with my 5 year old! Grapes terrify me! As do bouncy balls - not sure why lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh god, I did this too the first time we left my PFB with my in laws at 4 months. Detailed notes and times, like, '10:15: playtime with her stacking cups, she loves putting them in the right order!' I think it was 3 A4 sides of paper long 🙈. I did apologise a couple of years later for being such a patronising weirdo, and especially after having my second who did not get delivered to them with any instructions.

Wouldn't bath her in the baby bath unless DH was there, in case I suddenly had a stroke or blackout and she slipped in the water and drowned. I sponge bathed her instead.
No history of medical problems and no history of stroke or anything like that in my family, I have never even fainted.