Most batshit thing you did with your PFB

[Eastie77Returns]

Chatting to friends today about the funniest/craziest/omg what was I thinking things we did with our firstborn DC.

When DD was a few months old she fell out of a small ‘smart’ baby swing that gently rocked her and played music. It was a very small fall onto carpeted floor and she didn’t even cry. I screamed in panic and took her to A&E. But before leaving I took a video of the smart swing so the doctors could see exactly how it rotated and I measured the distance from the floor to the rocker so they had that crucially important information as well. At the hospital I think I asked more than once if she needed a brain scan and huffed and puffed when the nurse gently said no😭 No-one was interested in watching the video either!

There's a brilliant old thread about this and one was when they all walked backwards with the baby in a stroller so the sun wouldn't get him.

I took breadcrumbs off fish fingers and watched my DS like a hawk when he was eating. I pureed fresh fruit for his yogurt and pureed vegetables. He rarely had the jars. When he was with his DGD he just got mushed up ordinary dinner.

I was very over protective (I still am and he's an adult) but he's recognised that it worked as he was always safe and always felt safe.

I found it so stressful keeping him alive and well. We all did a great job!

I kept a record of every single cube of purée she had during weaning “1 x spinach, 2 x carrot” etc 😵‍💫

Thankfully within quite a short time realised that even if she grows up and finds a cure for cancer and they build a museum about her life no one will give a toss about that so I stopped 😂

I used dummies (to the horror of my mother who made it clear what a shit mother I was)

I read somewhere that babies could see bright colours but not pastels

I bought every bright dummy i could lay my hands on and sneared at the pastel ones (Ditto clothes,toys and her pram)

Her sister had dummies and I didn't even think of what colour they where-if boots sold them,I bought them (I never gave a thought to clothes,she just wore what hand me downs I got,toys where what her siblings played with and her buggy was black)

I walked around for an hour with pfb screaming in the pram because her food bowl was in the cold water steriliser

Her sister was lucky if
A-i remembered to feed her
B-the bowl was washed

Pfb was lowered gently into her cot,white noise played,any hint of movement and I was there and I once freaked out because there was a crease in the sheet

Her sister was dumped gratefully into her cot while I legged it

Pfb had her clothes washed,ironed,and neatly laid out in the drawer

Her sister was lucky if I remembered to wash them and I'd lost the iron

They normally lived in a pile until I got around to putting them away

Pfb had her nappy changed every hour

Her sister had hers changed when it looked very full

I cried when pfb had her jabs,cuddled her all the way home and hovered over her for two days in case she reacted

Little sister-i shoved her in the direction of the nurse like a lamb to slaughter and didn't think to check for any reactions

First day of school-i was that mother who cried all the way home,every day for a week

Little sis-i shoved her through the door,wished the teacher the best of luck and ran away

Slept with the light on for the first 5 days we were home as the hospital wards always had lights on 🤦‍♀️

I don’t think that’s at all unreasonable! You’d sweated out that tiny amount of breastmilk, and it’s gutting when you never develop a supply at all — no wonder you were upset at a genuine mistake.

Kept all the windows closed because my husband was worried about tripping when carrying her, and accidentally throwing her out of one 🤷‍♂️

Also loving the benign neglect of subsequent DC. I remember we followed a meticulous plan when we weaned our PFB. On the exact 6 month mark we began introducing carefully curated food: organic avocado, chopped sweet potatoes etc and solemnly gave one thing at a time in case she had a terrible allergic reaction to anything and we couldn’t work what it was. Everything was weighed and monitored. We agonized over methods of feeding. Would she ever eat independently if we gave her pureed food rather than starting with baby led weaning?

DC2 self weaned by grabbing a couple of chips of my plate…

My son was under 7lb when he was born. All the clothes I’d bought to the hospital were for babies from 7 1/2 lb or above (he was late so I had assumed he’d be bigger). I rang my mum in tears that all his clothes were too big and uncomfortable. My mum went out and bought all the small baby clothes she could find, washed them, and brought them to hospital.

OMG we did this too! Insane.

For the first 2 weeks my husband and I would take it in turns to sleep/be awake as we were so worried about keeping her safe that we felt it was necessary for one of us to be awake at all times. We'd literally tag team at night, one of us sleeping whilst the other....sat and watched a sleeping baby.

We mentioned it to the community midwife who must have thought we were insane but very gently explained this wasn't necessary and we should both try to sleep at the same time, it wouldn't harm the baby....

I accidentally cut my PFB’s finger while cutting her nails (she was around 6 weeks old). I took her to the walk in clinic because I was worried I might have damaged the nerve endings in her finger tip or something bonkers like that. They sent me to the children’s hospital A&E because they didn’t see babies that young. My husband left work after hearing we were at the hospital. After waiting for hours (as it clearly wasn’t an emergency) they told me it would likely be healed by the following day 🫠

I think I read that thread years ago. One that sticks out is the OP who used to sing a specific lullaby to her baby to get her to sleep. OP forced a babysitter to sing the song in front of her so she could ensure the sitter had the right pitch, intonation etc😂

I didn’t do this - thankfully - but I had to be talked out of taking DS to the GP when he was a little baby because his eyelashes on one side were longer than the other side.

I purchased industrial quantities of bubble wrap and taped them round table legs and corners. I also cut grapes lengthways and in half until, um, year 7. (In my defence, very tragically, a child of a family friend died through choking on a grape. This was in about 1984 and I remembered the grown ups taking about itand being horrified. May he rest in peace)

I rotated different (organic) grains daily for DS1 as a baby/toddler. He ate no sugar until he was 2. The next 2 had very different food experiences! To be fair now adults DS1 is half a foot taller than the other two so maybe I should have kept my good practice up.

I also remember thinking whilst sitting on the edge of the bath, when he was a week old, if I fell backwards and hit my head I would just gently drop him so he wouldn't drown (and I would) and the DH would then find him about an hour later alive. It took me a while to not just not sit on the edge of the bath.

Well it was about 15 years ago 😂 she could have been six months + but it was the first time I left her.

When DD was a few months old we visited a castle or something and had to walk across a cobbled courtyard. DH insisted we pick her pram up and carry it over the cobbles in case she got brain damage from the vibration!
I have no idea why he didn't just pick her up out of the pram and carry her if he was so worried and for some reason (probably sleep deprivation) it didn't occur to me to suggest it. It was a big pram too. We must have looked like complete idiots.

I found that thread a very long time ago (son is 16 and it was when he was tiny).

I Googled whether I needed to sterilize the Infacol dropper in a particular paranoid/confused moment. I also broke down when a leaf fell in his pram .. I couldn't find it. Yep he can't lift his head, but he definitely ate that leaf 🙄

We were full on no TV on only Classic FM, pureed organic pear, cooled boiled water to wash his face parents.. by the time the second came the first would be drinking from the garden hose.

My pfb caught a cold at 6 months old, so I took him to the doctors. I remember the doctor leaning back in his chair and said ‘ I have four children, if my wife took them to the doctors every time they had a cold she would never be home, ‘ then he went on to explain how it builds their immune system up. I still worried about the baby !

Wasn't there a poster on here once who had read and internalised the advice about how when you take the baby out, you should dress them in one more layer than you've got on yourself, to ensure they stay warm enough.

One day she went out and, to her horror, realised the baby had the same number of layers as she did. So she did the only thing possible - took off her own coat!

@Eastie77ReturnsI genuinely thought in my heart that PFB would only settle to Bach and at the same time I was making them more intelligent and giving them the edge against their peers 😂

I saw a similar list at a family members house when she was looking after her grandchild. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The woman had raised four children into adulthood 😆

I remember on the old thread there was a poster who put baby shampoo into her own eyes, before using it for her baby

That’s hilarious!!

Mine also famously fell asleep on the floor when we trying to get our toddler out of the house for a walk.

Staying awake to check they were breathing, for weeks. I think I only got about an hour’s kip a night for a month, I may have slightly lost my mind! I was young though so luckily had the stamina (although that probably also played a part in why I was so paranoid).