Page 9 | What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

Mayflyoff · 2025-05-26T19:35:52+00:00

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

Ladamesansmerci · 26/05/2025 23:54

My baby is just shy of 1, but mine will be:
-no squash, though fine as a treat out.
-I won't buy in fizzy drinks, though again fine at a meal out/parties from as she gets older
-no sitting on screens at meals, either in the house or out. Though I do intend to have Friday and Saturday as 'fun eat in front of the TV nights'. The rest of the week will be family dinner at the table.
-As for alcohol, I personally think banning it completely just makes them go crazy with it. From 14, I'd allow a small glass of champagne at a wedding. From 16, I'd allow things like a can of cider with meal on a weekend or at a sleepover. They'll do it anyway, so I'd rather them develop a healthier attitude towards drink by exploring it in moderation.
-I really don't want her to access social media until age 16, but I feel it's almost unavoidable in modern times

Junk food etc, don't care. I believe in teaching moderation.

TheaBrandt1 · 26/05/2025 23:55

A friends Dd was agog at the behaviour of some of her fellow freshers. She came from a loving yet relaxed family and had done a fair bit of partying and socialising so knew her limits and how to party safely unlike her new university peers some who had never gone out before or drunk and were getting into real
scrspes. The Dd said she was glad she did that stage while living at home with parents as back up.

Original poster

Mayflyoff · 26/05/2025 23:56

Saracen · 26/05/2025 23:32

If I was reading a story aloud to my kids, it couldn't be one in which characters were horrible to each other on a regular basis. Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl for example. I skipped right over most of Harry Potter's upbringing with the Dursleys.

The kids would have been welcome to read those books for themselves, but I wasn't having anything to do with them.

That's pretty unusual.

I was reading a book to my DC one night when the last two pages wouldn't open. It turned out that my DM had read it to them, not liked the ending, so sellotaped the last pages together. It just reinforced my view that she's a bit crazy.

OP posts:

Bbq1 · 26/05/2025 23:57

OneNeatLimeCritic · 26/05/2025 23:02

One 9 yr old:
No TV in bedroom.
No TV at all during a school week. Also TV kept to a minimum the rest of the time.
No online gaming.
No smartphone.
No sleepovers.
No playdates without either me or DH present.
No boiled sweets (lollipops very closely supervised and instructed to lick, not suck)
No whole grapes, cherry tomatoes, olives etc - they must be cut up (or bitten into if not at home).
Fruit flavoured drinks were only allowed for occasions such as meals out or parties until approximately age 7. Now we allow one glass of very diluted cordial at dinner time. The rest of the time it's water all the way.
Uses a high back booster for all car journeys. Was rear facing until age 5.

Most of these rules will change with age and maturity. We will play things by ear and discuss as a family. At the moment we and our DC are happy with the rules.

No fun

confusedlots · 27/05/2025 00:00

I would say I’m a pretty anxious parent, but I don’t get some of these responses? Why no play dates or sleepovers? Surely that’s what’s childhood is all about? Yes, I don’t love it, but I know my kids would have a pretty miserable childhood if I didn’t allow them to have their friends over to play or to sleep over?

Snugglemonkey · 27/05/2025 00:03

arcticpandas · 26/05/2025 21:40

No play dates until secondary ?! That's surely when they stop having play dates 😄 And my DS 12 has been invited to two bday parties at trampoline parks this year.

I'm all with you on no underage drinking though but did you seriously never invite a friend home to play before your children were 12 y old ?

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My ds8 is going to the third trampoline party of the year this weekend.

dddilemma · 27/05/2025 00:05

No tablets/phone in restaurant
No Roblox
No sleepovers. I gave in when DD was 15 (is the oldest/has ASD so a factor)
Booster seats required
No phones in bathroom

Ears pierced when she could ask for it (3rd birthday)
Allow them to swear as teenagers

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/05/2025 00:05

Some of these are nothing to brag about! No play dates or sleepovers seems just selfish to me - I’d love not to have kids sleeping over at my house but it’s very important part to most kids to be able to do this. If they don’t want to, fine, but that’s not banning it.

Most of the things cited here are sensible, safety rules but that just baffles me.

confusedlots · 27/05/2025 00:06

We’re just back from a camping trip with some other families, my 8 year old and her friends disappeared for hours around the camp site but they all knew the rules - they had to stay together, not go near any water/rivers, not talk to strangers, and come back to us if they were concerned about anything. I am generally an anxious parent, but I think it was good for both them and us, they need to gradually gain some independence in a safe space, and we as parents need to allow them to become more independent.

ilovepixie · 27/05/2025 00:08

LynetteScavo · 26/05/2025 22:47

No burgers from a burger van (DH bought one for DS1 once, and it was a wild moment in his childhood).

No touching the buttons on crossings with your fingers-cover your fingers with your clothes or use your elbow.
No rock, no fairground rides (theme parks are OK) and candyfloss only at the circus.

whats wrong with a burger? And traffic light buttons! And rock!

OneNeatLimeCritic · 27/05/2025 00:08

Bbq1 · 26/05/2025 23:57

No fun

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Oh, and no candles or cycling without a helmet for extra no fun

pinkstripeycat · 27/05/2025 00:09

Terribletwoss · 26/05/2025 21:05

I haven’t let my 2 year olds drink squash yet.

Largely because I think what they don’t know about won’t hurt them! But recognise it’s a bit silly.

Not silly at all. Well done! My DC didn’t drink squash until they were around 7yrs old at a party and begged to try it. I never bought it so they only ever had it at parties.

They still prefer water over any drink and they are in their late teens.

Neither of them has ever even tried coke as I never let them or offered it and they don’t fancy drinking it now.

Nopersbro · 27/05/2025 00:16

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/05/2025 00:05

Some of these are nothing to brag about! No play dates or sleepovers seems just selfish to me - I’d love not to have kids sleeping over at my house but it’s very important part to most kids to be able to do this. If they don’t want to, fine, but that’s not banning it.

Most of the things cited here are sensible, safety rules but that just baffles me.

I don't think the sleepover one is primarily out of selfishness; lots of parents forbid sleepovers away before a certain age as they don't know/can't control who has access to the sleep area and a sleeping child is especially vulnerable, in particular to sexual abuse. I've seen a lot of people say on here that they'd be comfortable with a sleepover at their own house but rule them out altogether because it would be difficult/unfair not to let the other child(ren) reciprocate.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 27/05/2025 00:17

Beamur · 26/05/2025 21:36

I didn't let her say 'haitch' for H.
Its aitch. No 'huh'

It is if you’re Irish and in plenty of areas across the UK so that’s a bit daft.

TatteredAndTorn · 27/05/2025 00:17

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 26/05/2025 21:09

No play dates or sleepovers until secondary school.
No under age drinking.
No trampoline parks.

Well they won't be wanting "play dates" when in secondary school. Wow. I think no sleepovers is ridiculous, no play dates is taking it too far.

FrodoBiggins · 27/05/2025 00:21

Can someone explain the issue with burger vans 😂

FrodoBiggins · 27/05/2025 00:21

CissOff · 26/05/2025 23:25

Agree with this. Find some of this quite upsetting and controlling. Not allowing a 17yo to play an 18 game - wtf?! I have a 17 year old and we regularly chat about films/progs that we’ve watched which are definitely over 18.

I’m pretty chilled, even though my 17yo says I’m not. Rules are now that she has to have Find My on so I can see where she is and she has to let me know her general itinerary.

She, and all her mates, have been allowed some cider etc at parties since they were 15/16 but the novelty wore off and now she’s driving she doesn’t drink. She’s is off to festivals this year too…shock horror!

I was given similar freedoms and turned out to be a relatively boring 40 something with a professional job.

It has to be incremental, surely? You can’t just set them off in to the wild at 18 having not prepped them properly and expect them to be OK? They will be the ones completely out of their depths in potentially dangerous situations they’ve not been taught to handle.

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Tbh I agree with your 17yo that you are not as relaxed as you think, given that you're constantly monitoring (or at least constantly have the power to monitor) her whereabouts.

TatteredAndTorn · 27/05/2025 00:21

This thread is an excellent example of how far too many parents let their irrational anxiety lead their parenting to the detriment of their children.

ChangeUserName25 · 27/05/2025 00:24

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/05/2025 22:20

Eldest is only 2 but I'm pretty laid back. He's had squash, chocolate, McDonalds, watches screens etc and I have no plans to ban sleepovers or trampolines.

Edited

I'm relaxed like you.
I have a young adult dc and younger children teens down to Infant.

My eldest was allowed sleepovers, playdates, screens , squash, macdonalds, alcohol ( as a teen, the odd one with us around) and all the other things people ban.
They've turned out fine , no fillings , no binge drinking , good social life, happy , healthy , never been in trouble.
My DN was very restricted with most of the above. Ended up pregnant at 17 after going wild once at college, numerous drunken nights in parks, she's now 23 and says her life was so suffocated she couldn't wait to do all the things her friends talked about. How she was jealous of my DC being ' allowed' to try things and do things.

The other 3 will all be treated the same .

pinkstripeycat · 27/05/2025 00:25

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 26/05/2025 22:44

@ShiftySquirrel my eldest will be 17 in September. The whole driving thing terrifies me and delights me in equal measure (I spend so many hours driving him to distant hobbies with no feasible, rural public transport).

I am a driving instructor and taught both DC (18 & 19) to drive as soon as they could reach the pedals (initially on private land and then on roads from age 17) so they’ve had 100s of hours of driving practice so I know how safe, confident and aware they are behind the wheel. Neither DC have a car.

The main reason is that I don’t trust other drivers. I see how dangerous, careless and unaware they are every, single day.

I also think it does DC good to learn how to use public transport (DC1 has been using the train and walking a lot DC2 catches trams). Also insurance will be loads cheaper when they finish university.

ChangeUserName25 · 27/05/2025 00:27

TatteredAndTorn · 27/05/2025 00:21

This thread is an excellent example of how far too many parents let their irrational anxiety lead their parenting to the detriment of their children.

This ten fold.

Cheffymcchef · 27/05/2025 00:27

Mumoftwoboysaged4and5 · 26/05/2025 21:41

Interesting that so many have said no play dates/sleepovers, genuinely curious as to why.

We have a no devices or screens in their bedrooms rule. Eldest is still only 8 but he will not be allowed a tv or laptop in his room as a teenager.

some parents have irrational fears of their kids getting sexually abused on sleepovers or play dates, so they ban them. This is the epitome of a bad parent who is setting their kid up for bullying imo. Just be open with your kid to always tell if something untoward ever happens.

ChangeUserName25 · 27/05/2025 00:34

Cheffymcchef · 27/05/2025 00:27

some parents have irrational fears of their kids getting sexually abused on sleepovers or play dates, so they ban them. This is the epitome of a bad parent who is setting their kid up for bullying imo. Just be open with your kid to always tell if something untoward ever happens.

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Dsc was badly bullied at seniors because her DM was so suffocating regarding everything, being allowed into the city with mates, sleepovers, no tv weekdays , no social media.
They moved in with us at 14 .

Cheffymcchef · 27/05/2025 00:36

ChangeUserName25 · 27/05/2025 00:34

Dsc was badly bullied at seniors because her DM was so suffocating regarding everything, being allowed into the city with mates, sleepovers, no tv weekdays , no social media.
They moved in with us at 14 .

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Bless her. My mum was overprotective and took me out of sex Ed, but thankfully allowed sleepovers and play dates. I can imagine how a kid would be ostracised (and feel left out) if everyone in the friendship group was invited but they weren’t allowed.

Ap42 · 27/05/2025 00:37

Terribletwoss · 26/05/2025 21:05

I haven’t let my 2 year olds drink squash yet.

Largely because I think what they don’t know about won’t hurt them! But recognise it’s a bit silly.

I didn't allow my two squash either. It's not silly, my 10 year old will still only drink water and my 13 year old loves his milk.

What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

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