What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

[Mayflyoff]

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

One 9 yr old:
No TV in bedroom.
No TV at all during a school week. Also TV kept to a minimum the rest of the time.
No online gaming.
No smartphone.
No sleepovers.
No playdates without either me or DH present.
No boiled sweets (lollipops very closely supervised and instructed to lick, not suck)
No whole grapes, cherry tomatoes, olives etc - they must be cut up (or bitten into if not at home).
Fruit flavoured drinks were only allowed for occasions such as meals out or parties until approximately age 7. Now we allow one glass of very diluted cordial at dinner time. The rest of the time it's water all the way.
Uses a high back booster for all car journeys. Was rear facing until age 5.

Most of these rules will change with age and maturity. We will play things by ear and discuss as a family. At the moment we and our DC are happy with the rules.

In the future no sleepovers until teen years with non family members and only carefully arranged play dates. Other obvious safety rules too now and in later childhood. Not a strict parent but a victim myself of parents who were too complacent and only see the good in everyone.

You’re not wrong, I came from one of those families and my 30 year old brother still lives with my parents with no likelihood he’ll ever live alone! Everything they did I’m sure was meant kindly but was mostly a complete overreaction to fairly small risks, for example I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs in case I cut myself and bled out, I wasn’t allowed pierced ears in case I caught them and bled out (there’s a theme here…) I wasn’t allowed braces in case there was a risk my teeth might fall out (yes, really) I wasn’t allowed to watch ITV and consequently was the ‘weird kid’ at school who couldn’t join in with conversations, I could honestly go one all day and as soon as I was old enough I couldn’t get far enough away.

Watch peppa pig

I would say to anybody posting anything at all on here, please explore whether your restrictions are in fact reasonable, or a product of your excessive paranoia/anxiety, that could be treated by counselling/medication.

Robbing children of normal developmental experiences can in extreme cases be very harmful to them (in fact in the extremest can be a form of abuse).. More commonly, you are just robbing them of opportunities to be happy because of your own anxiety/need to control.

It absolutely is possible to change these patterns with therapy/psychological support and I would definitely encourage parents who are struggling to allow their children to do normal childhood things due to severe anxiety or trauma to get support and help. Blaming people for the issues doesn't help, but I absolutely do have an issue with people not realising it needs addressing and taking action, not allowing it to adversely affect their children to the point where they can't have a relatively normal childhood.

Sleepovers.

Good grief.

God my son was six foot 3 at 14! He wouldn't have fit in the car!

My kids are grown up now, thank God, but it’s a difficult line to walk. It’s fine, in theory to say no smoking, no underage drinking but how can you possibly enforce it. Hard as it is, especially when your child is an angelic three year old , they are going to experiment with drink and drugs and sex, the same as we all did. Just encourage them to talk openly to you and be confident in the fact that the teenager years don’t last forever.

Video games, tablet computer, squash.

I've got close friends who experienced sa in early childhood and a child in a dysfunctional family attempted to kill me during a play date, where my parents weren't present. I'm sure all of us which we'd had wiser and more observant parents.

Don’t you think that’s a bit ridiculous to say?

Sleepovers - this includes school residentials.

I understand your concern. Although my kids are now grown, any hide and seek games out in public were definitely not allowed.

I’m pretty relaxed but they had no screens before they were at school, and even then it was just the odd programme watched with me, e.g. CBeebies bedtime story.

No puddings until they were at least 2, just fruit or yogurt. No squash, artificial sweeteners or energy drinks.

Now they are teens, so rules have to be more relaxed as they need to make their own way in life.

But absolutely no phones at the dinner table.

What are the class-based objections to ear piercing?

I had a no chewing gum rule, ugh, I just can’t stand it. I never had fizzy drinks in the house, but the DC weren’t banned from having them if they bought them or if we were out for dinner. No puddings unless they made a decent fist of the main course and ate some vegetables. Fair enough not to eat much if you’re not hungry but you can’t be too full to eat your veg but have space for ice cream.

They were strongly encouraged to do two sports and two music activities for quite a few years.

I’m relatively relaxed about piercings, sleepovers, play dates, trampolines and screens. Although there were no TVs in bedrooms, we still only have one TV and it’s in the living room. The DC are 21 and 18.

Mine had squash for the first time at age 11! Horrible stuff.

I mean fair init 😂

You seem very frightened that your child will die?

Oh yes — also no toy guns or online games involving shooting. Just no.

No piercing until 12 yo for DD and then only one hole in earlobes only until 18 (she’s 27 and still one hole in each lobe). No piercing until 18 for DS (he’s 22 still no piercings). No TVs in bedrooms (only TV in the house is in the living room). No smoking EVER. Drinking post 16 under supervision and if you drink too much post 18 you clear up your own mess. No matter what happens you can and must cal your parents for help we will always be there for you.

Fizzy drinks, cordial, sweets, fast food, play dates, sleepovers etc. all allowed. Two lovely adults, one with two degrees and a good job, the other has special needs but is lovely. Both healthy, slim, no fillings, polite and a joy to parent.

After one hamster, no more pets in cages. Deeply unfair on the animal, smelly and noisy at night. Cats and dogs fine. I know that some people have free range rabbits but I don't understand how their houses aren't covered in droppings!

I can’t get over the no fat on bacon 😂

wtf?

I’m a very relaxed parent compared to some here!

My only hard and fast rules are grapes must be bitten in half if they’re not cut up (9 year old still has hers cut up but my 14 year old sometimes just grabs one or two from the fridge), and I don’t want them past waist height in the sea, especially in the UK.

They’re both competent swimmers but we’re in the midlands so they don’t have tonnes of experience with the sea! Holidays abroad have all been to places where the sea is like a millpond and shallow for a good distance.

I drill the dangers of open water into them constantly.

@Ilovelurchers I'm in agreement. Most posters sound very uptight and restricting as parents.
I'm almost beginning to think it's an American thing.
Each to their own though. Depends of what kind of kid you want. One that's free or restricted.