What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

[Mayflyoff]

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

I haven't read the full thread as it's utterly depressing. I am a very socially anxious adult who can't self regulate their food and drink intake and who flunked out of university at 18 with severe anxiety. Can you guess what kind of parents I had?

Not to mention that tight clothing can cause vagina mycose. I always exercice in baggy trousers/shorts and at home I go baggy as well. Can't stand slim fit tight clothing.m

Some of these are very depressing. I think a lot of 'rules' depend on how you live. For instance mine never had McDonalds because we don't eat food like that. I told them if they ever had it, it certainly wouldn't be a treat as it's crap. Now they are grown up, son will eat it, daughter agrees it's vile so won't. But it's their choice. Similarly we never had a games console because it's not something my husband or I have any interest in. It wasn't a 'rule', we just didn't want one.

Totally off-topic but I agree - once you’ve had a Biondi’s / Nardini’s or similar all other ice cream is a pale imitation 😍

Me too..?

I’m guessing because it’s easy for them to get hurt? My 6yo has been to loads of trampoline parties & had a bump once. (No more so than playing elsewhere - her worst injury was running headlong into a metal bar at an ordinary park!). She’s had a trampoline in garden for a couple of years and it was great for burning off preschooler energy! & I would go on it with her 😅 She doesn’t use it so much these days

She sometimes has fizzy drinks if out (we don’t buy them for home - we get fruit juice / sparkling water). She’s had loads of ‘play dates’, no sleepovers so far.

She watches tv and has a tablet but doesn’t play it overly. She won’t be having a tv in room for a good few years, and it’s up to her if and when she wants ears pierced (she doesn’t at the moment), but I wouldn’t have done it as a baby as I want her to choose.

It is poor. We weren’t allowed any playdates as children, it isn’t just shit in isolation either, it means fewer close friendships as school as well as the other children in class become closer to those who do have playdates, things like birthday invites also then start to dwindle.

My Mum made me wait until I was 16 to get my ears pierced. She would not relent, I couldn’t even get them done the weekend before my 16th birthday.

You want to see how many holes I’ve got in me now 😂 It only made me want it more!

My DD has only had one sleepover (this weekend!) but I used to be a Brownie leader and she's been on loads of Cubs/Beavers/Scout camps. I don't object at all in principle. She just hasn't been asked and hasn't asked before to have one except with her best (male, and also very young for his age and unmanageable) friend.
Edit: I won't let her have a sleepover with a dad of a friend there, though it's never been an issue, or a male friend. When the time comes for her to have boyfriends, I think the rule will be the same till she's of age. Both DCs have had plenty of playdates, I think since about 7 or so it's been other parent and both DCs, no other parent. I don't mind supervising as I work so I've never been anyone's childcare, apart from the odd Inset day.
DS has no friends now so I'd be absolutely delighted to host a playdate for him.

Most of the physical safety or "stranger danger" things on here (trampolines, walking to school, playing hide and seek in the park, lighting candles, cooking) are either things we grew out of at least 7-8 years ago (DD now 11) or we've never made an issue.
Jonathan Haidt has great stuff on this - the cult of safetyism stops us from letting children do things that are helpful to them (taking calculated risks) but then we let them loose in the Wild West of the internet on their own.

You are more likely to have conjoined twins than for your child to be abducted.

Isn’t it about adjusting rules though no sugar or fizzy drinks fine for the under 5 but once you get to 11+ and encourage your children to be independent and go the shops with friends it becomes in moderation.

I feel v strongly that our role as parents is not to let or control but to teach and encourage and at each stage in life reassess and change the boundaries- DD is 16 so first off she was too young for concerts, then it was go with an adult, then it was go with an adult to the venue but the adult stays outside - the last time she travelled to the venue herself with her friend and then was collected at the end. I think this one will be kept for awhile (02 is fairly brutal to travel back from) until she is comfortable to do it

then there are general family rules - no phones/devices at family meal times we all follow. Recognising what is a special treat and what isnt

I’m pretty easygoing, but I’m going to show this thread to my 14 year old every time he moans about not being allowed an e-scooter/e-bike (apparently all his friends have them 🤨). My ten year old asked to have his ear pierced a year ago and I said only if he still wanted it when he was 12 then he could have it. Was told that was unfair at the time but now he’s grateful he didn’t have it done.

These are all wild.
I don't know anybody who had strict parents that didn't rebel heavily, myself included.
I am quite relaxed with my kids in comparison. A little bit of everything in moderation.

I am so glad someone else bans Roblox! It’s hideous

How does the Dad thing work? If the parents are married would he have to sleep elsewhere for your child to be allowed to stay over? Or am I reading that wrong?

This thread shows how utterly clueless people have become with regards to accurately assessing risks

I would prefer that. I've heard too many stories of young girls abused by unrelated male adults at friends' houses. When DD had her sleepover at the weekend DH went away for the night with DS (though that was also partly because DS wouldn't cope well with 4 girls in the house!)
It is certainly more common than abduction by a stranger.

I must say I agree with this and I am quite relaxed, my DD would love a sleepover and we plan to do one when DH and DS are away overnight watching Rugby later in the year as I think more parents would be comfortable with just me there.

This HAS to be a joke, right?!

@RealEagle

haha good one! lol 😂

I’m sure she did. I’m sure she said exactly that. I’m certain you didn’t make that up.

DD is only 2, so far my only rule is no peppa pig at home as I can't stand it. I plan on no smartphone until secondary school and no social media, otherwise I don't think I'll have a lot of rules. My parents were strict with me, and while I didn't have a big 'rebel" phase I think it held me back a bit and I went to university very naive.

I think it's both because otherwise little old ladies would have to use them.

She did actually. You accusing me of lying?
Why the attitude?

My parents were incredibly (×100!)strict. But I didn't go off the rails.....
I was only fairly strict with mine (I tell you once. I tell you twice. The third time you'll have a smack (so it was their choice to get to 3 and very rarely smacked). They haven't gone off the rails either. Sometimes it just depends on personality.....

I banned toy guns in our house - until my son started to make toy guns out of little branches 🤣

Wow some of you are majorly controlling. Poor kids. No ear piercing until 18 because its multiplication is absolutely deranged. Not allowing a 17 yr old to play an 18 game?
My parents were super strict and controlling. We have zero relationship now.
Stop projecting your anxieties and judgments onto your kids.