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Original poster

What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

816 replies

Mayflyoff · 26/05/2025 20:35

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

OP posts:
BustyLaRoux · 27/05/2025 12:57

Actually also no candles. My friend actually did set her house on fire. She was lucky not to die. So no candles in their rooms. Can’t say my DS is that bothered about that one!

fluffiphlox · 27/05/2025 13:00

On the ear piercing. I’m late 60’s now but I wasn’t allowed to have mine done until I was 16. My parents thought it was ‘common’. Obviously I had them done almost immediately.

JaffaDodgers · 27/05/2025 13:00

No playdates means no playing with friends outside of school??

Poor poor kids.

Then again, my (uni) kids had regular playdates from age 4/5 and sleepovers from age 7, which many will find abhorrent. They have so many wonderful fun memories of those days still. And they developed great social skills from having to adapt to different families, foods and cultures. I feel sorry for many kids on this thread.

Such restrictive lives with helicopter parents.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Families
JaffaDodgers · 27/05/2025 13:03

In these days of smartphones and iPads, I don’t think not having a TV is the brag it once was ;-)

FunMustard · 27/05/2025 13:07

Pollqueen · 26/05/2025 21:39

That's a bit extreme. I was driving at 15

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Do you let your children do illegal things too?

If you're talking about driving on private land or whatever, or you're not in the UK then it's not really relevant is it.

JaffaDodgers · 27/05/2025 13:10

NormaMajors1992coat · 27/05/2025 10:35

So will your DD continue to do her homework at the dining table through secondary when she needs to access the school portals and wider internet? There are very few books involved in secondary education ime. What about when she wants to watch a video explaining some tricky A level topic, or when she needs to discuss a group project with her sixth form friends, or complete her UCAS form and write her personal statement? What about if she needs some help from a tutor in Y13, will that have to take place in a communal space? I agree that letting 10yr olds have their phones in bed with them isn’t a great idea but banning any form of device from bedrooms ever seems really odd to me.

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agreed.

The idea of my daughter doing her further maths homework from a dining table boggles my mind. She needed peace and quiet in her own space, in order to master complex topics. And that isn’t including the videos she had to watch. And if her brother was having to do the same at the dining
table, they would have got far less done.

At some point you have to respect and trust your children. Especially around school work as secondary school progresses. You cannot micromanage everything.

JaffaDodgers · 27/05/2025 13:11

sideeyes · 27/05/2025 11:43

And I thought I was strict! Not compared to mumsnetters.

ha yes. This thread makes me feel like a chilled mum!

Splat92 · 27/05/2025 13:12

Getting a mullet haircut. Fortunately my boys do not seem too bothered by this rule.

Ifpicklesweretickles · 27/05/2025 13:13

Mumoftwoboysaged4and5 · 26/05/2025 21:41

Interesting that so many have said no play dates/sleepovers, genuinely curious as to why.

We have a no devices or screens in their bedrooms rule. Eldest is still only 8 but he will not be allowed a tv or laptop in his room as a teenager.

I think you know why no sleepovers surely.

JaffaDodgers · 27/05/2025 13:14

Splat92 · 27/05/2025 13:12

Getting a mullet haircut. Fortunately my boys do not seem too bothered by this rule.

My lovely handsome uni boy has come back with a mullet. Where did I go wrong? 😔

Ifpicklesweretickles · 27/05/2025 13:17

SpaceOP · 27/05/2025 12:01

Here's an experiment for you. And to be honest, when I suggest this to people they do often start to see my point.

Next time you are out somewhere with lots of toddlers at the kind of activity where you would expect them to be dressed for comfort/practicality and it's a bit cold (so probably more of a winter than a summer thing). Look around and compare the outfits of the girls vs the boys. what you will find is that the boys are usually wearing practical, comfy, trackies or loose fit trousers. They might be in jeans or cords, but they'll be straight cut/baggy jeans.

Then take a look at the girls. Many will be wearing similar to the boys. Or they'll have gone "girly" and will be wearing leggings/tights with shorts/skirts over. But a lot of them will be wearing just leggings with a t-shirt/jumper. Or if they wear jeans, they're jegging style.

And I ask myself, why is it that when a parent chooses to put their child in "comfy" clothing, the GIRLS clothing is always snug and the BOYS clothing is not.

And what I came to realise is that from when they are super small, we tell girls that short/tight clothes are "normal", even when we are not sexualising them.

As for your examples - of course she wears shorts in summer, as do boys (although I did work very hard to de-normalise much shorter shorts for her than for the boys. She does have some shorter "girly" shorts now, but she actualy prefers shorts that are a bit looser as they're more comfy for her). Tights and skirts are fine too - but actually, she hates them! Grin Having said that, while I am not trying to insist on particular types of clothing for school, I find it mindblowing that skirts and tights and impractical shoes are still standard for girls at school - in my day we fought to be allowed to wear trousers to protect us from the cold. (And dd's school shoes have always been proper shoes not ridiculous pseudo-ballet shoes that do F+++ all to protect her feet).

It infuriates me that girls clothing, even when youjng, is so often LESS practical. Trackies are WARMER than leggings but we put them in leggings? Why? Most girls school shoes barely cover the feet so they get wet. Why?

Edited
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Leggings restict movement a lot less than tracksuits or trousers and generally are more comfortable. Boys should wear leggings too rather than uncomfortable trousers.

FiveBarGate · 27/05/2025 13:18

Blobbitymacblob · 26/05/2025 22:19

No cycling on the road - my bff was killed cycling home from school when we were ten. RIP Lauren. My dc wanted to cycle to school with their friends but it was a hard no from me. I just couldn’t bear it.

So sorry.

Similarly headphones while walking are cycling are banned for me for the same reason. Childhood friend killed while wearing a Walkman and his mum did a big campaign about the dangers of restricting your hearing on roads which has stayed with me.

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 27/05/2025 13:20

Started the thread thinking it was hilarious, now just sad.

Imagine not having friends around to play, being 'allowed' to touch the crossing button with your hands, ever go on a trampoline or bouncy castle. It's actually tragic.

Shoes232 · 27/05/2025 13:22

I can see the future thread titles-
My teens rebelling and I don’t know why
Why has my adult DC gone no contact?
My DIL won’t let me visit

TimeForABreak4 · 27/05/2025 13:23

This thread is the perfect example of why children/teens are struggling these days.

Ifpicklesweretickles · 27/05/2025 13:24

RealEagle · 27/05/2025 08:56

No play dates with the opposite sex when they are 15 plus ,this can resume at age 25.

This is classed as abuse and coercive control done to an adult.

CremeBruhlee · 27/05/2025 13:35

Very chilled family really -

That they have to taste something before saying they don’t like it (but then can choose not to eat it).

If we are out for a meal no screens until after the main course (can then share a phone/ipad with no sound if particularly long meal with adults catching up) often we have no screens at all by then.

No flips on trampoline (we have one at home and go to trampoline parks).

We have banned saying ‘I’m bored’ a bit of a joke but they used to think was a swear word.

No pierced ears until High school.

Always have to wear cycle helmets on bikes or scooters.

Other than that loads of play dates, very open house with all the neighbours kids in house and garden.

We are often looking for opportunities to stretch independence (ordering own food, walking to nearby shop, going to toilet in restaurants on own).

NegroniMacaroni · 27/05/2025 13:36

Cycling on roads with cars - is it reasonable for to ban this when my DS is older? We live in London. He's only 4 so this is a long while away but I do really really worry about it.

trailmx · 27/05/2025 13:36

JaffaDodgers · 27/05/2025 13:00

No playdates means no playing with friends outside of school??

Poor poor kids.

Then again, my (uni) kids had regular playdates from age 4/5 and sleepovers from age 7, which many will find abhorrent. They have so many wonderful fun memories of those days still. And they developed great social skills from having to adapt to different families, foods and cultures. I feel sorry for many kids on this thread.

Such restrictive lives with helicopter parents.

posts on this thread remind me of Philip Larkins poem, "They fuck you up your mum and dad".

I wonder how many mums netters who never answer the door had similar rules (no playdates etc) imposed on them as children.

Tiswa · 27/05/2025 13:39

Those who ban things becuase of anxiety please don’t - it is awful to have to live with an anxious parent and I still struggle sometimes to tell my Mum I am doing some things (we like to drive to Mainland Europe for example)

take cycling - cycling on a pavement is Illegal it is only legal to cycle on roads. It’s fine when children are young but beyond that it is very definitley illegal. So yes wearing a cycle helmet fine, undertaking all the cycling safety courses (schools often run them) yes give them all the tools you can.
stopping them cycling on roads No

SpaceOP · 27/05/2025 13:39

Ifpicklesweretickles · 27/05/2025 13:17

Leggings restict movement a lot less than tracksuits or trousers and generally are more comfortable. Boys should wear leggings too rather than uncomfortable trousers.

Show quote history

They are less warm though, so there are pros and cons.

But sure, I'm fine with this as an option. But we very clearly do NOT encourage boys to wear clothes that are tight fitting or that are short. So when that changes, I'll happily let DD change too.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/05/2025 13:42

RealEagle · 27/05/2025 08:56

No play dates with the opposite sex when they are 15 plus ,this can resume at age 25.

I read this and found myself channelling John McEnroe - 'You cannot be serious!!'

How on earth do you plan to police what your kids do once they are at University, for example, @RealEagle? And calling them 'playdates' when your kid is over 15? I really hope you are joking.

Sosigsandwich · 27/05/2025 13:43

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 26/05/2025 21:03

I never allowed mine to have a trampoline in our garden.

And I didn't let them say the word 'fart' [they are now teens and 20s and give me a lot of grief for that!]

I absolutely detest the word Fart!

MounjaroMounjaro · 27/05/2025 13:46

I'm another who hates that word and wouldn't have it in the house. Neither child has been permanently damaged by that!

Shambles123 · 27/05/2025 13:49

I meant no trampoline in our garden! Shocked some people meant never going on one!