What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

[Mayflyoff]

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

I didn’t allow DD ear piercing until 10, half of me thinks I was too strict and I should’ve let her at 6 but the other half was pleased or DS3 would’ve had his ear pierced at 6 but by 10 he’d changed his mind.
Other than that we have a no screens at the table rule and that’s about it. I’m happy to have a discussion about anything my DC feel strongly about.
DD’s friend from primary had a lot of rules about everything from food to fun. She rebelled wildly at University and now in mid twenties has severe anxiety and very poor mental health.

It's chavvy.
It's also a pain at school

@Jellycatspyjamas I'm the same in that what I like isn't particularly feminine as I don't like fake nails, lashes etc & my fashion is probably more appealing to other women vs men but I'm not sure the want to look nice is entirely uninfluenced.

No smartphone. Uses a dumb phone and can use iPad and laptop etc at home.

A group of our school parents got chatting one day when the dc were about 12 about the shocking (lighthearted) things their dc experienced at each other’s birthday parties, including nerf guns, fizzy drinks, McDonald’s, trampolines, jelly sweets, pg movies, Roblox …etc. It was quite funny because we were all guilty of someone else’s heinous crime against childhood!

I think a thread like this captures snapshots of a particular moment in time, but doesn’t really allow for the fact that contact with other people changes our attitudes as we go along. What is realistic and sensible at 4, may feel very different at 14.

Hopefully, I haven’t just added birthday parties to the banned lists!

When they were younger no fizzy drinks, chicken nuggets etc. this relaxed as they got older although I have still never bought chicken nuggets. We had a no weapon rule so no play soldiers or guns not even nerf ones.

No snapchat or TikTok. No 18 rated games.

All tech is downstairs.

I see kids just having chips, garlic bread plus chicken in a bun and no veg and am a bit astounded.

For one meal I don’t see it as an issue, I don’t control what my kids eat - they have a good, healthy, balanced diet that includes lots of nutrition but also includes crisps, sweets and chocolate in moderation. I want them to be able to make good food choices, which won’t happens if they never get to choose their food and - occasionally - triple carb and see how bloated they feel afterwards.

I never forgave my parents for this rule. My dad said I'd look common with pierced ears.

Took me to 27 to pluck up the courage!

No dropping her T’s , saying things like “we was” and using slang like fam, bruv, blood etc.

I see kids just having chips, garlic bread plus chicken in a bun and no veg and am a bit astounded.

I eat a lot of veg but if I'm having Nando's I very rarely chose a veg side over chips

Play Roblox ever. Ditto Fortnite.
Have WhatsApp at 10. DD can have it when she's 13.
16 for other social media.
Ear piercing will be when she's 13 (probably the summer after as she's a May birthday).
Devices in bedrooms. Ever. DD has a desk in her room but it's tiny and she uses it for crafts at the moment.

I didn’t let DD have McDonalds and then she couldn’t have it (coeliac) but she’s not fussed.

I also made her stay in a booster for quite a while. DDs primary was full of kids who were out of any kind of seat by 5, no boosters, nothing.

I also didn’t do sleepovers only because I suspected it would go the same way as play dates i.e. I would end up with kids at mine all the time and it would never be reciprocated.
DD was friends with a neighbours child and her mum was always pushing for it - her child got up between 4.30-5am…even at 10. Never.

Im an 80s child so I remember not being allowed to eat on the street and loads of people not being allowed to watch ITV/Grange Hill. DH wasn’t allowed a front door key until he started uni! There’s always been batshit rules.

I think trying to control what kids eat can cause more harm than good.

And no you cannot judge any family based on what kids eat when they are out n about. Kids can be picky want good stuff without the faff of sauces and dressing that come with adult meals and kids meals rarely come with veg.

The broccoli is the nicest thing in Nando’s IMO!

DD is 3 and the only things I can think of so far are no Peppa pig (😂) and no walking around eating.
Not an issue at her age but I won’t allow TV’s in bedrooms- we don’t have one either.

No play dates with the opposite sex when they are 15 plus ,this can resume at age 25.

I hate the nandos set up, Seems like a faff. So I avoid it, but if they do good broccoli I might give it a go for the broccoli lover in the house. It's about the only veg he eats.

I never gave mine McDonalds because it's crap. We never had games consoles and until about age 16 they had to leave their phones downstairs overnight.
I never had a later bedtime at the weekend - same time to bed as on a school night (when they were young obvs)
I think that's about it.
I said DD could have her ears pierced when she was 10 but she was horrified by the idea. I kept offering and was greeted with the same horror until she was 16 and suddenly wanted them done immediately.
We had a trampoline for years (2 broken legs and one broken arm) and I let them have small amounts of alcohol at home to de-mystify it a bit

No social media until 16 and that includes WhatsApp
No sim card
Ears pierced at secondary age onwards
No fizzy

I’m showing my kids this, they think I’m a fun sucker 🤣
Also, to those with the no play dates/no phone until they are 16/no drinking until they are 18….your kids are going to struggle through high school. They won’t have mates because you’ve never let them get close to anyone, they won’t be involved in trips out with no phone. The no drinking part I can understand to a certain age, mine didn’t drink until 16 and then it was only maybe twice a year at an adult supervised party, but I remember my friends mum was really strict and at 18 my friend went out, drank for the first time and was slaughter by 9pm, fell over, smashed her face up and ended up in hospital. And no, she didn’t learn and went and did it again. My eldest has been allowed a few drinks since 16, he’s now nearly 18 and just not bothered for it

Quite a few probably:
I don't let them go in others cars without a decent car seat, a booster cushion doesn't count as decent.
I don't let my 4yo eat whole grapes
I don't let my 4yo eat popcorn or lollipops
I don't let my 8yo play Roblox
No YouTube

As the mum of a 2.5 year old DD I'm using this to plan the future!

So far she has no computer/phone screens apart from video calls to grandparents. We have said no phone til secondary. She does watch cbeebies though.

I've said no to a trampoline, but I take her horse riding 🤣

No ear piercing until 9, no tv in bedroom until a teenager and then not smart. No macdonalds or fizzy drinks, the latter til 8, the former til 5.

This thread is also really helpful to start convos with DH to set our boundaries now!

DD will be 14 this year and doesn’t have instagram, snap chat, tick tock etc and I check what she downloads.

I don’t know anyone who would allow smoking or drinking. My parents would buy me alcohol and drive me to the pub from 14 - I don’t want this for mine.

We all love squash! Most don’t have aspartame in them anymore.