What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

[Mayflyoff]

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

No phones up stairs. Mine are teens. I’m very strict about them getting a good nights sleep. Same when their mates sleepover 🙈 yes, sleepover!

I'm realising that my dc are clearly more obstinate and headstrong than some on this thread. As if my dd would ever let me dictate her clothing! She hasn't followed any of my suggestions since she was 3 and to her credit is far more stylish than I have ever been.

Some kids are gonna go absolutely mental when they can get their hands on ‘Robinsons Blackcurrant and Apple’ and a trampoline with their Banned school mates.

And seriously: sleepovers etc give children so much confidence.

It all makes sense now, the amount of children with anxiety issues etc.

I think most of us (consciously or subconsciously) wear jewellery for sex appeal so the idea of piercing a child just feels odd. What about you, why do you like it? Is it cultural?

So I thought I was strict but apparantly not having read some pp. For those not allowing play dates know that you're not helping your children with their social competence nor with forming friendships. I knew one mum who was extremely anxious about letting her son go anywhere (never took him to a playground because she couldn't see him). I invited her 7 year old son over and we sat in the living room, children playing in my DS room with door open. She asked if we could bring the chairs over in front of my son's room so that we could watch them. Both her and my sons were very calm boys and they were playing with lego and playmobil. My DS didn't want to invite his friend anymore because he said he got embarrassed playing infront of us.

So if you're very anxious and think your DC will get molested on a playdate why don't you invite friends to YOUR home to play then?

For the trampolines, it's true that it does causes accidents but that's mostly because parents let many kids jump at the same time. If you have a rule of max two each time it minimises the risks.

For the food orthorexics: my mum was like that and I ended up overindulging on all "forbidden" foods as soon as I had my own money. That's why I let my sons have everything but not all the time. If they have eaten their veggies and protein I don't mind if they have chocolate or crisps in reasonable quantities.

Gaming. Spent a fortune on coding lessons instead so they have computer skills. After swimming, has been the best extracurricular activity.

Yep, remember I got mine pierced at 12 (secondary) because I wanted to be pretty. In some cultures (especially middle eastern) it's common with one year old getting their ears pierced. Then again, in those countries women are not seen as equal human beings either so there to be pretty, cook abd clean and produce babies. I'm so happy to only have sons tbh because it's so hard to teach girls that they are valuable for the persons they are- not how they look, when society (SM, friends etc) give them the opposite message. I mean so many grown up women have bought into the narrative that looks is everything so how can we expect young girls to develop differently.

OK but at my kids primary you do have to tape them for PE. There's a page in the induction pack to sign about it. I think it's pretty standard these days? Tears and infections indeed may not happen, but that isn't to say it never happens, and at the very least they would need after care whilst healing, right?
Incidentally, after a bit of grumbling about wanting to be like friends my kids haven't so far been that fussed about it.

Feel sorry for kids not allowed play dates and sleepovers. If you know and trust the other child’s family, that seems ridiculous.

When my kids were primary aged, I was always worried about safety of things like trampolines, scooters etc. However, while we didn’t own them, life is about measured risk. Kids should be allowed to climb trees or bounce on a friend’s trampoline or play a sport, making sensible judgements is part of learning.

There are lots of things on here that I also didn’t ’allow’ - piercings/phones for under 12s, crappy UP food etc.

But the tone of some of these posts seems very, very controlling - and I predict people will struggle when their kids hit their teens!

This is making me feel like I'm pretty laid back.
No ear piercings here. I am squeamish about piercings/tattoos etc and wouldn't have been able to bear the aftercare. I flat refused when they were younger. They are 16-18 now and saying they might to their ears soon, which is fine as I won't be involved - I respect their bodily autonomy.
I had a rule (and obviously you can have your rules, but you don't know if they are followed) about only swimming in the sea when there were lifeguards for the early teens. I went in fairly hard on beach safety, not swimming after alcohol etc.
Have said not too get in car with driver they don't feel safe with for any reason and will come and get them.
But by mid/late teens you are just hoping they have and can use good judgement.

All those rules yet you let a 6 year old play Roblox which is for 13+. Your priorities are all wrong.

I was an over protective and yet quite lenient parent. But I never allowed my DS on temporary fairground rides unless it was the dodgems or to eat or drink (alcohol when he was older although we also were fined for it in our city) on the street unless he sat down. He was also to ring me if he felt uncomfortable or needed help rather than wing it.

I've also told them both to not make decisions solely based on money and to come to me. I've made bad decisions based solely on the lack of money.

14?! I can understand this with under 5s, older if there's SEN of course. But at 14? Wow. Just wow.

You do realise they will definitely have had them when you're not there, right? And survived?

It’s not silly at all. Why would you feed your children sugar and chemicals ? I don’t let me 10 and 7 year old have it and never will. I let it go at parties now but would never by it for home

Assuming you are a small family, do YOU sit on a booster seat? If not, why not?
My 13 yr old niece is 5ft 7 and a size 10.
Would you insist on her sitting on a booster seat, with her head touching the roof of the car?

Mine have never had squash in their lives

How many 14 year olds are eating lollipops? 😂

Goodness. What a lot of peculiar posts.

No real 'rules' here but didn't have stuff in the house that I didn't want the kids partaking in. So only one TV, no consoles, only the kinds of foods that any of us would eat. Basically, led by example.

DH and I both rode motorcycles and when one DC said they wanted to learn, we said not until they could drive (need to understand how drivers think) and so far DC can drive but doesn't ride. We no longer have a bike, so we'll see.

Same DC leant to shoot at a rifle club with DH. Very talented at it. Also yes to grapes, trampolines, skiing, sleepovers, travelling independently, having autonomy to think and weigh up decisions. Banning stuff just makes it more desirable.

I did say no boyfriends/girlfriends til 16. Probably my only struct rule as hormones can outweigh sensible decisions. They were glad of it as they felt relieved of peer pressure and then after 16, mature enough to decide.

Do we? I’ve honestly never considered that earrings are generally sexy. I’ve got some plain diamond studs in today - is there sex appeal from those? I wear them because they’re pretty. I don’t think DH notices earrings at all.

I won’t let my DDs get their ear pierced until they’re old enough to do the aftercare properly themselves. They’re only 5 & 3 now so I’m not sure when that will be, I don’t have a set age in mind.

I'm so happy to only have sons tbh because it's so hard to teach girls that they are valuable for the persons they are- not how they look, when society (SM, friends etc) give them the opposite message

It’s really not that hard, I have one of each and they both have a growing understanding of their worth as people in their own right. Interestingly that comes from them having growing autonomy over their choices. My DD had her ears pierced at 12 - her choice and nothing to do with her worth being centred on her appearance, she likes jewellery and wanted to wear earrings.

I worry that we spend so much time looking for an ulterior motive for every decision we don’t let’s kids develop their own personality. My DD has a quirky sense of style, I’m not going to restrict that part of her because I’m worried about her not valuing herself as a person. She’s much more confident dressing the way she chooses, within limits.

I see the teens around here walking home from school with them!

I'd be willing to bet that this pp's kids have had plenty of them at friends' houses, parties etc. Unless of course they're also banned from those 🤔

At 10 years old dd was commuting to school across London and needed a phone

In the 'real life' I always feel like a protective parent compared to most people I know, but now I feel super relaxed and laid back!

My boys, both teenagers now, have been allowed to do pretty much all the stuff on here; watch TV, eat McDonalds, have sleepovers and play dates, get phones (at 11), jump on tramps, hang out in town/at the park, drink at parties at 16, play with toy guns and shoot real guns (rabbit hunting), ride dirt bikes and scooters ... the only harm which has ever come is a broken bone from coming off over a jump on a BMX bike, so in hindsight I guess I should have banned BMX.

One is off on an overnight tramp in the bush miles from anywhere, and we're in NZ so it's winter and cold, I would much rather he was home with me at the minute, but have also tried not to let the fact I am actually a fairly anxious person stop them from doing things. Which reading this, I realize now I have done alright in that regard!

Oh my DH definitely doesn’t notice either 😂 but he’s never noticed anything I’ve done with my appearance over the years…

Curious what you think the difference is between looking pretty and having sex appeal though? To me they’re one and the same.

My dc were almost 6ft by that age!