What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

[Mayflyoff]

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

The thread is asking what you don't allow. Why not join the conversation? 🤔

No trampolines, our daughter has CP and they’re awful for your joints.

We’re fairly relaxed, so I can’t really think of anything else.

I'm much, much stricter about junk food and UPF than most people on this site. I work in public health science. On one hand people will say that when they're older they can eat what they like, to which I say - exactly, so don't start the neurological pathways for addiction forming when they're three. And it is addiction. The science is clear.

Ready to be called an almond mom or accused of giving kids anorexia or """orthorexia""" - frankly after years in this field, anorexia is not the epidemic I'm worried about. Obviously its devasting for individuals but we don't have (conservative estimate) 65% of the population with anorexia.

The behaviour of these companies is absolutely sinister, akin to what tobacco companies were doing as the scientific consensus solidified. Don't get me started because I will talk all day on this.

Squash is sugar free these days, hard to find one that isn’t. So what is the objection? Nothing to do with teeth. Fruit juice is far worse!

We had a trampoline, but DD (then age 3) broke her elbow on a see-saw. You can’t wrap them up in cotton wool.

I am a fairly relaxed parent, only thing I enforced strictly was no rudeness. I was going to be spoken to like crap by my own child. Both watched way too much TV, too much internet, but both very academic (both applied to Oxbridge) and literally never caused me a day’s trouble post maybe 6 or 7. Both went to, and had many sleepovers. I feel sad for DC who aren’t allowed to attend when all their friends are.

I don't give mine sugar on wheatabix or cornflakes. they sneak a bit of sugar if the fancy a treat but I don't offer it.

I don't know why exactly because I had sugar on my cereal as a child and I also let them have sweet treats in the day (I'm not restrictive of much else food wise). Breakfast seems like it shouldn't be covered in sugar. yet i put honey or syrup on their porridge. I don't know why but My take on breaky is a bit muddled. didn't realise until teen pointed it out

No Peppa Pig. At all.

Extremely minimal contact with screens. A bit of tv, they can use spotify, but no other screen time.
They won't get smartphones from me ever. They are absolutely awful for society and for kids, and are destroying their attention span and mental health. Trampolines are fine; candles will be allowed when they are teens and appropriate safety measures are taken;
imho we overprotect kids from the real world and underprotect them from the many dangers of the virtual one.

That poster’s next rule was not to touch traffic light buttons with your finger, so I would assume they have some anxiety around germs. So I imagine they worry that burger vans don’t have good food safety standards.

No sleepovers.

Now nervous about Roblox as my kids have had it for a month and seem addicted.

Whilst I commend you for being so engaged on this, your approach might be counterproductive. The thing is that while it's important to not overeat these foods, an important part of an eating disorder (compulsive eating included) is the psychological aspect, where you desperately crave things that are "forbidden". My mother was extremely strict with junk food and it's part of why I ended up with an eating disorder. There's a great book by Ellyn Satter called How to Get Your Kids to Eat that I would recommend. Including small amounts of "bad" foods in a child's diet sort of vaccinates them against seeing the foods as special, and therefore they learn to follow what their body needs instead of always going for the naughty stuff when they have the chance.

Hi thaegumathteth I'm with you on my children not hurting any bugs/spiders. I would also be furious and the kids know if they upset the cats they are in trouble.
Otherwise no roblox (they are little) and when older no motorbikes, tattoos , piercing or vaping.
At the last slerpover her friend woke at 0400 so Im banning these until older. They don't sleep!

No sleepovers ever

no mobile phones

prefer playDates at our house

I’m stricter about the frequency of things rather than not allowing them at all. So as a child, we were allowed unlimited TV on in the background and to drink fizzy drinks daily.

My own children do watch TV, but at certain points, other than that it’s switched off as I’ve found they play much better then.

They tend to only drink water, which they like, squash now and then (I don’t mind them drinking this at other people’s/when out), and fizzy drinks more for special occasions (I don’t buy them/have the in the house week to week).

@nomoremsniceperson

I've read it. I think its an admirable theory for a normal food environment, but we don't live in a normal food environment. To be clear, I don't restrict fat and I think natural sugars are fine - even useful - in moderation. I'm not advocating for avoiding bananas because they have too much sugar or any of that. I absolutely believe in allowing children to eat in tune with their hunger and satiety signals. But some of the products engineered now are literally designed to override our body's natural cues. Espousing moderation of these (addictive) products is just a sleight of hand to shift responsibility to the consumer.

They're older now but no topsy and tim under any circumstances.

I have also banned the phrases 'search it up' and 'unbox' as in "mum, I've unboxed the bread so I can have a sandwich". Opened ffs. OPENED.

Sleepovers fine, trampolines fine - but play dates????? How will they know how to socialise? Surely this is just depriving them of basic social skills?

Some of these are sensible; perhaps we all need to roll back on screens. But I had to check this wasn't a thread from 2020. Some of these cotton-wool regimes are worse than lockdown, especially the "no playdates" one. How will these kids survive in the real world? They are the ones who might either rebel massively as soon as they can (and get into real trouble), or become hermits, as the idea of going to somebody else's house is totally alien to them. My mum sternly put an end to hosting birthday parties when I was seven, because she didn't want to do them, but she didn't stop me going to other children's. When I was a kid, I actually had to be encouraged to take risks: I loved rules, and I didn't want to try cycling because I was afraid of getting hurt.

With the "no candles" ones: I can understand that, they do cause fires if left unattended, but how about instead education on candle safety? Are the "no candles" children also forbidden to have them on birthday cakes?

@HereComesAnUnpopularPoster As for the long list of forbidden sports, you missed out netball, and that's officially a "non-contact sport". Minor injuries units are full of netball players on Saturday afternoons, both children and adults. (Speaking as a netball player and umpire. And adults who haven't read the small print moan about having to remove their earrings "but I've just had them done!", and to have short nails "but I've just had them done!".)

For those banning trampolines what about contact sports too? We had a trampoline for years and no accidents (although I do appreciate they could happened). DS ended up in a&e 3 times post playing football with his mates, should I have banned him doing that?

also I do understand the sleepover ones, but no play dates? That is just nuts

My 14yo is 6ft2, so that would be a bit weird here.

No play dates?! That’s horrible.

Mine are late teens/early 20s now.

I allowed candles in bathrooms, not bedrooms from about 13.

They've always been really sociable kids and our house has been the meeting point of choice for years. 'Rules' have changed as they got older but even now my house rules for their gatherings (usually between 6-11 people including them staying here) - no sex (I really don't need to be hearing friend X having sex with friend Y), drugs or vomit.

So let’s get this straight.

There are posters who think that having a trampoline is the worst of the worst, but because reputable studios won’t pierce ears before 18 they go to the butchers that are Clare’s accessories.

I think given the choice between the trampoline and having a 7 year old’s ears butchered there’s no contest and you’re not in any position to judge someone who buys their child a trampoline which is a healthy activity.

Think liann with limiting upf those limiting squash and holding off screens in childhood are all excellent things to ban. Proven to be harmful.

The no play dates / trampolines / sleepover crowd are stunting children’s natural development. What do they do instead? What boring childhoods. Play dates (going to tea in old language) and sleepovers with friends families known to parents were a huge part of my own and my kids childhoods from 6-13.