School mum doesn’t like boys?

[Favouritefruits]

I’ve not really got a question as such, I’d just like to talk through a strange situation with neutral people if possible?

my youngest son is in infant school, there’s this mum who blatantly doesn’t like boys to the point of upsetting children. I’ve never come across it before
At first I didn’t even notice it because it was just things like having only girl parties which is very normal. The mum won’t talk to boy mums to the point of being rude and saying she doesn’t want to be friends or have anything to do with us (she gave this information freely without being prompted) it took me aback as it was just so rude.

There has been multiple other strange anti boy comments but today I was really hurt; it’s rock star day at school, kids all dressed up a few mum’s were taking pictures of the children I hadn’t noticed but it was all girls apart from my son (who only plays with the girls his best friend is a girl) this anti boy mum moved my son out of the way said the picture was just girls and was very forceful with him. The other mums looked uncomfortable but nobody said anything including me as I was to shocked and didn’t really know what to say. My son asked me why and I didn’t know what to say so I just distracted him.

Has anybody else come across a person like this? If situation like this happen again do I say something or not? I’m really stuck with this one.

Who cares what this idiot thinks. Just ignore her.

Well I would care in this situation - it’s extreme behaviour and I would worry about the impact on her daughter

By ‘forceful’, do you mean she was rough?

You’re not responsible for someone else’s weird complexes. I wouldn’t give her another thought. If she lays a hand on your son ever again, or says something unpleasant about boys around him, then deal with it on the spot.

Sure, but you can’t intervene in someone else’s parenting!

That's incredibly strange. I hope she never has a boy 😬 If she's comfortable talking about it, I'd be comfortable saying it's very unhealthy and a strange stance to take.

This is awful, she's very rude. She really shouldn't have her daughter in a mixed sex school if she wants to protect her from ever having to deal with boys.

I think if this happens again - and I'm sure it will - you should call her out, and tell her not to move your son away from his friends, point out that the boys and girls are classmates and shouldn't be seperated.

If your son picks up on this mother wanting to keep the boys and girls seperate, or being rude or dismissive about boys, I think you should talk to the class teacher, who can talk to the class about being friendly with eveyone etc.

She's doing her daughter no favours at all.

The mum put her hands on my son’s shoulder and pushed him away. It was just so strange. I do normally just ignore her as everyone knows what’s she’s like but my son was really upset and I didn’t have an answer for him.

this mum had a party recently sons best friend who is a girl was invited but the mum told her she wasn’t allowed to bring her breast feeding baby son as it would spoil the party and her daughter wants no boys. The party was in a local soft play no private hire.

I know I can’t do anything but I’m just making sure I am correct, this is strange behaviour isn’t it?

Yep. Mum of boys and have encountered this anti boy sentiment many times - not to that extreme but certainly lots of ridiculous comments (including on here!). You have to learn to ignore it as it won’t be the only person you get it from I’m afraid. Lots of head tilting sympathy from mums when they find out I don’t have daughters 🙄

Not allowing an infant because he's a baby boy is crazy - she's totally unreasonable. She shouldn't be pandered too.

Yes, of course she’s a loon. But pushing your child isn’t on. Say ‘Linda, in the rest of the world, we don’t shove small children out of the way because of our funny little sex complexes. Cop yourself on.’

Given all the gender disappointment threads you see on here, this is not very surprising, unfortunately.

I honestly think you should have a quiet word with the teacher as a safeguarding concern. She sounds troubled to put it kindly and it will have a negative impact on her daughters ability to form and maintain friendships. Imagine a boy was being raised with an openly misogynistic parent.

Ive come across this quite a few times, as a mother of boys One told me she didnt allow boys over for playdates as boys were messy and dirty. Bite your tongue and bide your time. Teenage girls are just as difficult as teenage boys and her time is coming 😃

Oh yes I get this a lot with 2 boys. Ds1 is 5 and ds2 is 7 months. I have people asking me if I’m going to try for a girl already!

I honestly think you should have a quiet word with the teacher as a safeguarding concern.
I would imagine the school are very aware.

I would generally ignore her beyond an eye roll but if she touched my son like that I would say something such as
"please don't touch my son, if you need him to move ask and I am sure he will"
(you crazy bitch)

Yes, I was shocked by it. People can kind of treat boys like they're about to explode and do something harmful at any moment.

When I first trained, we were told tales of places that had to ban the revealing of gender at scans because these women (foreign women, of course) had immediately tried to harm themselves or the baby after hearing it was a girl. Or fathers who hated their female children and tried to force the mothers into late abortions upon hearing the sex of the baby.

I was actually told a very detailed incident that happened at a specific hospital. Turned out it was all a myth and you'll hear the same story wherever there is a South Asian population.

However, now, right now, we are actualy seeing clear disappointment from MC women who are having or have had a boy. Not very often, but sometimes quite extreme. So extreme that the person is having to have the specialist care reserved for those at risk of or with mild perinatal mental health issues to deal with gender disappointment.

There is no talk of banning gender reveals at scans, though.

Love this.

Someone needs to say it.

It’s mad how people just stand around saying nothing.

If you are saying this woman physically pushed your son on school grounds then you should report it to the school really.

Its one thing not inviting children to your house. Quite another to be a potential danger to them.

I think my NHS trust didn’t tell prospective parents the baby’s sex at the scan. This was in London in 2010. We only knew DS was a boy because I was commuting internationally for work throughout my pregnancy, so I was also having antenatal care in the other country in case I ended up giving birth early there, and they had no such scan policy.

Why don't you know how to explain it to your son? Don't you just tell him that she prefers to take pictures of only the girls in a neutral tone?

Unless you make him think it's because boys are somehow inherently worse than girls why would he be bothered?

I've never met anyone like this but it wouldnt bother me at all, her preferences wouldnt affect my life.

i would really love to say that!

i’m so glad I’m not being unreasonable! I know I’m quite liberal, my boys do dance and I gave them dollys as well as cars when they were small, so just checking I wasn’t being the ‘weird’ one

My eldest son has a friend who is a girl of a different religion they know they aren’t allowed to touch or hold hands but still play beautifully together! I

Oooh this is has made me piss boil. It’s absolutely not ok and to put her hands on your kid, nope nope nope. I’d be having strong words with her

You can - and should - intervene a) if they physically manhandle your child and b) their extreme behaviour may adversely impact their own child.