School mum doesn’t like boys?

[Favouritefruits]

I’ve not really got a question as such, I’d just like to talk through a strange situation with neutral people if possible?

my youngest son is in infant school, there’s this mum who blatantly doesn’t like boys to the point of upsetting children. I’ve never come across it before
At first I didn’t even notice it because it was just things like having only girl parties which is very normal. The mum won’t talk to boy mums to the point of being rude and saying she doesn’t want to be friends or have anything to do with us (she gave this information freely without being prompted) it took me aback as it was just so rude.

There has been multiple other strange anti boy comments but today I was really hurt; it’s rock star day at school, kids all dressed up a few mum’s were taking pictures of the children I hadn’t noticed but it was all girls apart from my son (who only plays with the girls his best friend is a girl) this anti boy mum moved my son out of the way said the picture was just girls and was very forceful with him. The other mums looked uncomfortable but nobody said anything including me as I was to shocked and didn’t really know what to say. My son asked me why and I didn’t know what to say so I just distracted him.

Has anybody else come across a person like this? If situation like this happen again do I say something or not? I’m really stuck with this one.

I would call her out on her behaviour immediately. I would also speak to the headteacher and log her peculiar attitude with social services in case she is a potential risk to any boys at some point.
I once knew a pregnant schoolmum who was similar. She had a girl the same age as mine. I then had a boy and she got pregnant soon after. Not only did she make unpleasant comments about my newborn because he was a boy, she told her 5 gear old girl that the baby would be staying at the hospital if it was a boy as they could only bring a baby girl home. Other mothers questioned this and she was deadly serious that a boy would be put up for adoption at birth.
She had a girl.

I have three boys and a girl. I’ve had all sorts of comments about boys smelling, being dirty, lazy, you name any negative stereotype I’ve heard it. But this takes the absolute biscuit. She is clearly off her rocker and best ignored, until she touches your son, then you need to put her straight.

Really? How bizarre. Never had that myself.

You are right, toxic masculinity affects boys too, but the answer to that isn’t to expose all kids (boys and girls) to the boys who are brought up that way, presumably in some twisted “toughen them up” way. I wouldn’t exclude all boys based on the behaviour of some boys, I discouraged my daughter from inviting the boys in her class who had been here before, because they did all behave that way. There was one boy who she is still friends with who didn’t, but he never came to her parties anyway as he is autistic and can’t cope with birthday parties. She would have some of the boys over for play dates and that was absolutely fine. There were invites she didn’t get because they were all boy parties. I’m okay with that. Anyone who spends a lot of time with a lot of children knows there is a different dynamic depending on whether the group is mixed or not. Just as it often is with adults when going on a night out with partners or not.

I do step up as the parent of a girl, and my doing that involves raising my daughter not to be expected to put up with behaviour that bothers her and that she can exclude boys from something if they are causing her problems, she doesn’t have to invite them just because their parents think they deserve an invitation. It includes her encouraging boys not to behave that way, she often sat with boys in class and helped them focus on their work. But there is only so much I can do.

I don’t hate boys at all. We often have them round here. Teenage boys are fantastic, I mentor a young lad who is struggling with some stuff at the moment. It is possible to like both boys and girls, and to understand there can be issues when they are mixed. In fact, it’s really important that we can discuss it and work out what works best for both groups.

A lot of women here have such disdain for men that they cant be raising their sons with anything but hatred and fear of them which will of course damage those poor children.

Thats the only way for them to get a child..they often hate the men too. Find them repulsive and stop any form of sex as soon as they've finished conceiving..

Do you think that space should remain for the girls only? With their "appropriate" activities?

She’s mental. So if he daughter’s friends (girls) have brothers, the daughter’s not allowed to be friends with them because their mum is a boy mum? Not allowed on play dates at houses with boys in them I assume? Her child was conceived immaculately I assume? Via gender selection?

Idiot.

This woman is dangerous and people like this need to be seen that way. Not just for the sex they are discriminating against but the sex they are favouring too. People like this don't just favour girls, they favour a certain type of girl that fits their very narrow stereotype. Girls who don't fit this will be eventually treated with the same disgust as boys, it's extremely damaging. I'd feel sorry for her daughter.

We should.start on this site with that attitude.

Apparently so!! It was a shared space until some 'bright spark' let girls do gymnastics there and chuck a ball about without any boys allowed, now they play there too using jumpers for goals, the selfish bastards when they could easily just go somewhere else and leave the convenient space to the girls only.

@BoredZelda you should read your words back, you sound very prejudiced.

Exactly! @BoredZelda was quite happy for the girls to “take over” the space for their activities and assumed they had some kind of divine right to it because they’d played there for years. Some boys come along and dare to play with a football in the “girl space” and they should be kicked out immediately because there is somewhere else they can go (could the girls not go to that other place too? Or, heaven forfend, could they not share the convenient space and play together?)?

I get this. Even though aged 43 with my youngest of 5 sons being 10 it's a bit late now.

God this woman sounds like an awful person. She’s obviously got issues with men she’s never dealt with. I think if it was me, I’d have to say something to her, like “I don’t know what your problem with boys is, but I’m not going to tolerate your harmful behaviour towards my son.” I’ve met a few people who have a negative view of boys but not as bad as this. Personally I love being a boy Mum. It’s an opportunity to raise a good man.

This. I would have told her never put your hands on my DS

I really hope she has a son one day!

Weird++++

Ignore all the messages that say ignore her. Manhandling your child is not acceptable and needs to be called out before she does it again.

I’m one of two girls. We loved playing with boys, they matched our energy and were more fun. Growing up, my sister and I couldn’t be arsed with girls, the sass, tale telling and all that came with. Boys were less stress and offered so much more. Yes we had girl friends and still do but we both get on better with males, even now I find blokes easier to relate to and some women are too much hassle. I am a tomboy of sorts, love sports, competitive and love pub banter watching footy. Never been a girly girl.
I’m just really glad growing up the group of parents my mum surrounded herself with were the best and we had a huge circle of both boys and girls which would all end up in different houses playing and running around our estate. It was like an extended family and we were allowed to be kids! We weren’t singled out for being male or female or excluded. I find this really sad and quite disturbing that this woman would physically remove your son so she could take a picture. I’m a mum of boys and I wouldn’t be best pleased and take it further. Talk to the school about her behaviour. It’s a safeguarding issue surely?

I would write an email to the head teacher and the class teacher and explain everything or even ask for a meeting with them. If she lay a hand on your son I'd make a complaint. (Although I'd probably have confronted her there and then if she touched my son but I understand you were shocked) I wonder if the other parents can back you up.
I'd also report this to social services. Surely this is some sort of safeguarding issues with her propaganda.

If she dislikes the male of the species this much, it's a wonder she ever got pregnant.

Absolutely this!! And giving her a good shove see how she likes it! I have a baby boy and anyone trying to act like this with my boy will feel my wrath.

You need to learn to speak up. If anyone put hands on either of my children I would have lots to say.

I have two boys and get an anti boy vibe from some parents / sympathy / asking if we're going to "try for a girl" but nowhere near this level of madness! Id let the school know about her pushing and also keep a very long distance from her! MIL also somehow thinks I am disappointed because I have two boys, absolutely not. We might have a third and I'd love another boy 😁😁 (or a girl, I'm really genuinely not fussed, but others think I am which is what annoys me 😂)

This is utterly batshit and also unacceptable when it involves disparaging comments and putting her hands on your son.

I have a 3 year old boy and I actively encourage him to have boy and girl friends and really hope this continues into teen years. I think it's beneficial to both boys and girls to respect each other as people, as a way of avoiding normalising the extreme Andrew Tate style thinking.

'Othering' the opposite sex in childhood does a disservice to boys and girls. For an adult to instigate this division is totally weird and dangerous.