School mum doesn’t like boys?

[Favouritefruits]

I’ve not really got a question as such, I’d just like to talk through a strange situation with neutral people if possible?

my youngest son is in infant school, there’s this mum who blatantly doesn’t like boys to the point of upsetting children. I’ve never come across it before
At first I didn’t even notice it because it was just things like having only girl parties which is very normal. The mum won’t talk to boy mums to the point of being rude and saying she doesn’t want to be friends or have anything to do with us (she gave this information freely without being prompted) it took me aback as it was just so rude.

There has been multiple other strange anti boy comments but today I was really hurt; it’s rock star day at school, kids all dressed up a few mum’s were taking pictures of the children I hadn’t noticed but it was all girls apart from my son (who only plays with the girls his best friend is a girl) this anti boy mum moved my son out of the way said the picture was just girls and was very forceful with him. The other mums looked uncomfortable but nobody said anything including me as I was to shocked and didn’t really know what to say. My son asked me why and I didn’t know what to say so I just distracted him.

Has anybody else come across a person like this? If situation like this happen again do I say something or not? I’m really stuck with this one.

Was going to post this - there is a safeguarding issue with respect to that woman’s child but, also, she manhandled your child. The school needs to step in and they can’t if they’ve not been made aware.

OP reframe it in your head about how inappropriate her sentiments would be if you had a daughter and she was only including the boys, how would you react if a dad pushed a girl out of an all boys photo and regularly made sexist comments.

I would not be polite if that woman touched my child.

She sounds like a total nutter and it will get increasingly problematic for her daughter. She will be the MIL from hell.

the strangest bit of all this is the lady has her daughter but also has a step Son who is a lot older from what I gather. The little girl doesn’t know the step brother isn’t a full sibling because the mum didn’t want her daughter thinking her mum was an evil step mum like the movies!

yes the more I type the more I’m feeling she’s a complete crack pot!

Some people are just so weird (and rude) - it absolutely baffles me at times! (Well, I am no angel, I have my embarrassing moments too, truth be told). Stand well clear, leave well alone. She might have her reasons - she might have had issues growing up, with brothers or other males, it might have been quite horrible, we don’t know. And she might have this non-diplomatic way of communicating with other people - some of us with certain MH conditions (for example, on the spectrum) can seem very weird to neurotypical people and vice versa. It’s not an excuse I would say - even if it is non-intentional. But understanding this helps the recipient of this weird communication not to fume for long.

The no boy party even extended to her Dad and step brother

I wouldn’t waste time trying to understand her motives op. All you can do is control how you manage her behaviour towards your own child. Absolutely don’t stand for her putting her hands on him. Excluding him is bad enough but pushing him out of a photo is completely unacceptable and you don’t want your son growing up thinking it’s ok for an adult to treat him like that.

School need informing because she was rough with your DS on the school grounds, I’d want assurances that at no point would she have unsupervised access.

A child at DS1’s school had his parents called in because their son hurt mine twice in one week. The mum actually put her hands on my DS to ask why he was lying (incidents all witnessed first hand and on cctv). She was banned from the school grounds.

She’s a twat. Good luck to her in the teenage girl years.

This with bells on her opinion is her opinion although she from what you’ve post she sounds absolutely batshit but you don’t let anyone manhandle your son and not call her out.
I would make very clear to her also if she does it again I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions 😡
Wonder where her other half stands in all this

She would not be allowed to put her prejudiced hands on my ds a second time, that's for sure.
Weirdo!!
Boys are 👌

Me too. And not just at school - my MIL duslikes her three grandsons and clearly favours her granddaughter. So many people instantly think boys are trouble.

Well, she obviously likes males enough to have had sex with one given she has a child , so it all sounds like BS to me. I would ignore the loon.

I have the same experience with the opposite gendered child. I have a little girl who is friends with all the boys and is in the little "boy gang" at school. Most of their mums are lovely and think it's adorable. The boys are also all lovely to her. But she has been excluded from a couple of boys only parties because she's a girl and the parents have assumed she won't like the football theme or whatever it is. It's ridiculous, they're all 5 and 6. She has also been excluded from some photos, as in not called to join in, whilst all of the boys have been.

I've never known what to say about it. Feels worse when it's women excluding a female!

She's having a car themed party for her birthday btw...with all the boys.

She shouldn't have touched your child. That would have really annoyed me.

I have two boys and had similar, they are older now but I’m amazed it’s still happening.

I find it very odd, I mean she clearly slept with a man? So what’s with the anti male stance. I’d just leave it alone and pray her daughter isn’t too damaged by the idiot.

Completely irrational. I have 2 boys and have never come across anyone like that.

It will ultimately effect the mother's relationship with her daughter. The daughter will eventually rebel and tell her mother how absolutely ridiculous she is.

She can have whoever she wants in her photos but she put her hand on your kid and you didn’t step in?

I don’t dislike boys, but I do dislike boys commandeering spaces and people deciding it’s ok. As an example, we have a big grassed area outside our house. Since we moved in 13 years ago, it had become the place that girls go, they were dancing and doing gymnastics, chucking a ball about, the older ones do videos, I assume for TikTok. It was lovely to watch. Three years ago, some bright spark decided to bring his son’s football goals out there and the girls who go there were relegated to sitting on the path whilst the boys ran screaming and shouting at each other playing football. Thankfully the factor removed them, but the boys still come “jumpers for goalposts” and play football there. I never see girls out there any more. This is despite there being a MUGA near by where the boys can play football, with another green space right next to it.

I had girl only birthday parties and mixed ones for my daughter when she was younger. There is definitely a different dynamic when boys are in the mix. The girls are quieter and less likely to join in. At every mixed party one of the girls got injured in some way. I did eventually discourage my daughter from inviting boys as the parties were not fun for her when they were around. She mixed with them fine in primary school and as a teenager she now has a good mix of boys and girls in her friend group.

I am completely on board with there not being major differences with kids whether they are boys or girls. I believe there shouldn’t be boy v girl activities, my daughter is by no means a “girly” girl and she doesn’t sit back and let boys take over, but until more boy parents move away from raising their boys in a “boys will be boys” manner, excusing rough behaviour and allowing them to dominate, we have to accept that for girls, some “girl only” space is vital for them to be able to express themselves fully.

Agree with pp, pull the bitch up, the moment she laid a hand on you son you should have called her out.

I really wish people would stop fannying about and tell people how it is, especially when it involves children.

She's going to struggle if her DD doesn't turn out to be a lesbian...she might have a BOYfriend or a husband 😱

Nope the women is an idiot. It is surprising and it is shocking.

However gender disappointment is a relatively common experience for
many women - who get over it very quickly and who go on to deeply love their children.

Don’t try to put them in the same box as this idiot.

I agree. I must be at the far end of confrontational but if she did this to my child I would be having my say there and then 😡

@BoredZeldayour post sounds as though you do hate boys. My boys both had good friends who were girls throughout school, and at times were the one of a few boys invited to girls parties. Thankfully, the parents of the girls involved judged the children on their behaviour, not their sex, and didn’t exclude all boys because of the behaviour of some boys. You are right, parents need to step up, but in my experience it’s parents in general, not just parents of boys.
Single sex activities have their place, but you make some generalizations in your post. The ‘boys with be boys’ attitude can have a negative impact on the boys not brought up in this way, who are expected to socialize with boys brought up within the rough/ bad behaviour being excused, as much as it is for girls, although maybe in different ways.

I’ve always had all girls or all boys parties for my two simply because it’s cheaper and I’m not keen on parties with loads of kids. Both of them only ever had friends of their own sex but I know a lot of children play with both sexes. The rest of it sounds bonkers!

She has serious issues.

I know a really nice woman, who did tell me one day, that she wouldn’t have been friends with me previously, or even talked to me, because I had girls, and she had always wanted one, but had sons

She had got over it, but it had taken years, apparently.

I hope this can explain why another woman with two sons, absolutely blatantly hates me, for no apparent reason 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'll bet she is a mumsnetter