School mum doesn’t like boys?

[Favouritefruits]

I’ve not really got a question as such, I’d just like to talk through a strange situation with neutral people if possible?

my youngest son is in infant school, there’s this mum who blatantly doesn’t like boys to the point of upsetting children. I’ve never come across it before
At first I didn’t even notice it because it was just things like having only girl parties which is very normal. The mum won’t talk to boy mums to the point of being rude and saying she doesn’t want to be friends or have anything to do with us (she gave this information freely without being prompted) it took me aback as it was just so rude.

There has been multiple other strange anti boy comments but today I was really hurt; it’s rock star day at school, kids all dressed up a few mum’s were taking pictures of the children I hadn’t noticed but it was all girls apart from my son (who only plays with the girls his best friend is a girl) this anti boy mum moved my son out of the way said the picture was just girls and was very forceful with him. The other mums looked uncomfortable but nobody said anything including me as I was to shocked and didn’t really know what to say. My son asked me why and I didn’t know what to say so I just distracted him.

Has anybody else come across a person like this? If situation like this happen again do I say something or not? I’m really stuck with this one.

Yes so in the example I gave (East London hospital if that means anything), they did stop revealing gender at scans, but only because it was often taking up too much time per scan and isnt of medical significance, and they kept getting it wrong! So that's why they stopped. Then they got new scanners and they relaxed it because they werent having as many issues. I was told that when I did agency there and asked about the myth.

I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, I think I was just shocked! I just distracted him whilst processing it all in my head.

The ignore her would have ended for me when she put her hands on my son!! I have never came across anything like this and I have 4 boys.
I definitely would have spoke up, both as the mother and as one of the other parents. Does the daughter play with boys in the class or has she adopted her mothers views?
I would maybe mention it casually to the teacher, as I would be concerned the daughter might try to exclude your son from the other girls.
Bizarre at best.

I don't understand why people don't stand up for their own children. All the hand wringing is ridiculous, you need to call her out for touching him.

Ask her for a word later tell her behaviour this morning was not appropriate and you would prefer her to not push your child out of the way again, and her actions are sexist and going to have a negative impact on all the children in the class.
She has the right to mess her own kid up with her strange opinions but tell her to keep her terrible attitude towards the boys away from the school gates as it’s pathetic and disrespectful to half the children in the class and there families.
Also send email to teacher explaining what happened and that you feel this may need some sort of action on there part. This is beyond strange and unless someone confronts her she will feel entitled to continue as no one has challenged her.

I’ve got three boys and I’ve never noticed particular anti boy sentiment apart from one friend who said she would have been “gutted” to have had a boy and an acquaintance who said “oh well, you can always try again” when they heard I was having a third boy.

The only thing that I thought about when they were younger was that they grow away from
their parents when they “couple up” whereas girls tend to stay close. I used to joke with another friend that we needed a gay one that would stay close to mum and talk about style. Wish fulfilled 🤣

To the op, no one should be touching your child, particularly in this manner. You’re going to have to have things to say for the next time she says or does something looney around your son. She’s very confident expressing her opinions, you need to be too.

Wait until year 4, girls can be sooo nasty.

I agree with above PP about raising with school as a safeguarding concern for that little girl. What a batshit mother.
my three boys are friends with plenty of little girls, and boys

She sounds mentally ill.
Maybe she actually desperately wanted a boy and couldn't and this is her weird reaction.

She sounds absolutely ridiculous and I would avoid her as much as you can. However, if she put her hands on your child, you should have spoken up straight away and told her to keep her hands to herself. You don't stand by and let that happen

Thank you everyone. I have never come across this type of behaviour before either, and I hope I don’t again!

I wonder if this has anything to do with all evidence pointing towards mothers favouring their sons over their daughters. IME this is certainly true.

Perhaps the mum in question had a negative experience of being brought up with boys.

If she's manhandling your own child out of photographs you can

Its probably got some weird backstory like she/her dh were desperate for a boy so now she is trying to convince herself she hates them. I've known that happen in reverse. Someone who wanted a girl but had boys always slagging off girls and saying she's so glad she never had one. Protesting too much.

I'd have a word with the teacher honestly, she sounds nuts and I'd worry about a child being raised with these attitudes. But otherwise, I'd ignore her and steer well clear.

We have a mum like this at my daughter’s school, except she’s a boy mum who hates girl mums. Won’t talk to us, scowls and actively ignores anyone with daughters. It’s VERY bizarre, she’s so chatty with boy mums, I had put it down to just her fostering friendships with mums that have things in common and also have children her son plays with, but her son regularly plays with girls in his class and those mums are shunned. It’s very odd.

Please do get comfortable with the idea of calling out someone who behaves like this to your son though, no one should be putting their hands on your child unless they are about to hurt themselves or someone else. Firm boundaries, it’s good for children to see that so they can model it.

She roughly pushed your child and you just stood there saying nothing? I'm afraid I would have very strong words with anyone who pushed my young child, and I'd report her to school if it happened on school grounds. Stand up for your son for goodness sake.

Her behaviour is extreme but as the mum of a boy, not completely surprising.

But you now know full well what this woman is like. So you would be wise to take steps to minimise her interactions with your ds. No way would another adult put their hands on my child to move them out of the way and I keep quiet about it. You have to pipe up and stand up for him against people like that as he can’t. I know you were shocked but come on. She is no one’s boss.

i would call her out on her behaviour and I certainly wouldn’t allow her to put her hands on my child. I’d be taking it up with the head.

Next time she says anything about not liking boys I’d simply tell her that’s sexist and what’s her issue. Just call her out, embarrass her in front of the other mums. Good luck to her child being raised by a lunatic like that.

Do you mean she pushed/dragged your son out of the photo? If so I’m surprised you didn’t say something. People only behave this way if they think they can get away with it. ‘Please don’t put your hands on my son like that’ would have put her in her place without being overly confrontational. It also shows your son that you are advocating for him and that it’s not ok for an adult to treat him like that.

She sounds like a nightmare. Fine for her to have her own preferences but absolutely not fine to be outwardly cruel to children over it.

Does the Mum only have daughters? Maybe she never got the boys she desperately wanted and her coping mechanism is to be mean to boys.

My SIL had 3 sons and was sometimes very rude to my sister (3 daughters) saying how awful it was to have to parent 3 girls.

That's no justification obviously, but I have seen this sort of behaviour.

On the other hand, my aunt had 4 sons and then doted on me and my sister to the detriment of our brother who felt excluded. People can be horrible.

She doesn't sound very well.

Your feelings are hurt because she’s absolutely insane? This has nothing to do with you or your DS who I’m sure is a lovely little boy. It’s all to do with her and some weird thing she’s got going on in her head. Her poor DD is going to have difficult teen years with her as a mother. Is she married to a man? Is it all males she hates? Or just those under 10? I’d just tell your DS that some grown ups have some silly ideas about things and this particular mum is one of them, so it’s nothing to do with him and he shouldn’t take it personally because he’s wonderful.

The moving your son thing is definitely not on. Personally I’m a big fan of ‘try that again and see what happens’ but that’s mostly because of the area I’m in; the consequences are much clearer than ‘please don’t do that again’ and everyone knows where they stand. If you don’t want to set tongues wagging in a very sedate area, then maybe ‘I wanted to have a quick word with you about you moving DS out of the way to take your photo. Please don’t do that ever again. He understands words and a polite request to move. It’s unacceptable to place your hands on other people’s children. I hope I’ve made myself very clear here’.

She is batshit. She has 0 right to put her hands on your child.

That's so unhelpful. You can ignore comments, but you can't ignore someone physically moving a child not theirs out of the way because they didn't want them in a photo. For whatever reason.
I'd have said, 'Take your hands off my son and let him back in the photo, please.' With a glare.

See I look at this far more serious than just she’s a bit of a loon. This is anti male radicalisation and propaganda and it’s not okay. She needs reporting to Safeguarding, especially after pushing your son.