What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

[sintin]

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

Id love this. Jobs are boring.

She just sounds like a trophy wife. Spending time on her looks, a good cook bit of pin money from hobby but husband pays bills etc.

Same. Do whatever works for you and your family! Nothing else matters.

Sounds lovely.

Yes, it is boring and meaningless for the kept woman to do it but never for the high earning spouse whose sole purpose is to fund the lifestyle.

This is where I’m hoping to head in a few years.

Situation is slightly different. I spent my 20s and 30s absolutely breaking my back to scale the career ladder. Both DH and I are high earners and we’ve accumulated a lot of wealth (including a huge house, an absolutely MASSIVE house, and several more medium houses before @Frateletheboss gets her knickers in a twist), plus other investments. Never wanted children.

Now that I’m in my 40s, I'm over it. For the last two years I’ve really been focusing on my health, fitness, and wellness. I have loads of hobbies and interests.

I’d love nothing more than to float around my lovely house and garden, walk the dog, bake, batch-cook, write, read, travel, and generally have some breathing space to do lovely things.
We’ve had a rough few years in terms of health and bereavement and it’s put a lot into perspective for me.

My plan had always been to retire at 50, but now I’m hoping to bring that forward to 45. DH would like to continue working for another while but will retire early too.

I don’t think it’s at all common for artists to earn a decent’ living. Even well known artists have often done a lot of teaching to pay the bills. I obviously don’t know how seriously your SIL takes her practice, but it could be seen as a poorly paying job rather than a hobby.
I’ve never heard the tik Tim term you’ve used but I’m not sure if it’s meant to apply to someone like her?
Just like @MoggetsCollarI went to a very feminist girls school and was discouraged from doing art because it would be a waste of my intellect (hollow laugh). I’m making up for it now but I could never support myself on it.

Sounds like being retired. Not sure I am ready for my mind to rot at such a young age but I am sure they are very happy.

Ive never heard of this but i suppose it applies to me in a way. I met my 2nd husband just before i was 40 after being unhappily married to my 1st husband since late teens and with two grown up children now left home. He is independently wealthy (not millions but enough that we dont have to work and own our home outright) After working for years, i gave up work as soon as i married him and now spend my days doing whatever i want. I have money in my own right from the share of the sale of my previous marital home so 'new' husband doesnt exactly 'keep me' but obviously i dont need to worry about paying mortgage or bills every month. It is a very priveliged position to be in i realise and im very grateful that i can live this lifestyle.

Sorry...this "lifestyle" annoys me lots. I would love to float around doing a bit of this and that to justify my "contribution" to society. But I have to work my arse off. I earn slightly my than my husband, but we need two salaries for a sustainable lifestyle for our kids and our future. And we work fucking hard for shit-reasonable money.

If a man was just do want he fancied and left it up to his partner to put in the donkey work, it wouldn't go down well.

Also, I, point blank, do not trust such a person to have a realistic understanding of society. Which means: who are they voting for and why? [In my judgmental head: wives who didn't really need to work but thought that austerity was necessary.]

Why would your mind rot?

Is your only access to books or conversation through work? Have you never been to the theatre, cinema, or a lecture?

Do you only engage your brain during set hours on working days?

How bizarre. Please try reading in your free time. Or maybe try a cryptic crossword if your brain is so predisposed to “rot”?

That's really sad. Your mind doesn't have to rot when you retire. Do you have no interests at all outside of work?

It is not very challenging, is it, doing yoga, watching shows, reading books, going for lunch, playing golf. Living like retirees on repeat. For decades. That is why the mind rots.

Perhaps they were not in an intellectually changing job to begin with. So I guess it does not matter. I am sure someone will come along and tell me a life of leisure is full of challenges.

I don’t think it needs a genre title, some people have always lived like this. I can see the appeal but overall I don’t think I’d like it.

Sounds really nice.
And with respect you do sound envious, phrases like 'bankrolling her" are a tad nasty. They're a team.
SHOCK - people lead different lives! And not everyone (who doesn't need to) has to kill themselves to keep the wheels of industry turning!

That’s a bit defensive..

I don’t think there’s much arguing with the fact that intellectual work tends to sharpen the brain to a degree that intellectual interests do not. And some people like that. We’re all different etc.

Sounds lovely

I would opt for this.

Just need a Time Machine.

And also a magic wand in order to “Look Amazing”.

Come to think of it, I have no artistic talent either.

Bollocks to that then.

How is it, if a man came on here and used the term trophy wife or prostitute to describe his partner, it would be deemed offensive, yet these terms are being bandied about on this thread by women, to describe women...

Yep I have a good career but would be lovely to meet someone to take the pressure off ! I’ve worked part time in the past and loved it ! I for one would love to be looked after 🤣 however know I have a good career to fall back on if the shit did hit the fan 🤣

My mind isnt anywhere close to rotting! I read, spend time with friends and my children (whilst waiting for grandkids. Im now 52 so ive lived this lifestyle for 12years and not once have i been at a loss of what to fill my life with.

Sounds like another invented way to try to get women arguing amongst themselves.

Yes, the usual trope. No life outside work.

I have interests but they don't keep my mind sharp like the work. Great to dip in and out of hobbies but it is not exactly challenging like managing teams, continuing professional development, giving presentations or being made to stretch yourself constantly and managing constant change in the workplace and having commercial awareness of what is happening around the world.

Sorry @ScouserInExile I quoted the wrong person!!

Meh everything is pretty much in my name for tax purposes. If things went tits up I’d be fine.
it’s been almost 33 years so I’m not fretting.

They’re married. As a financially dependant partner she is entitled to the money that’s been made during their marriage, because assets are joint when you’re married.

She’ll get half the house most likely, a chunk of cash, and given at her age building a full on career probably isn’t an option, she can argue for monthly support, or for a bigger cash sum that can be invested as income.

How do you not know this?