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Original poster

Is pissing in the park a giant red flag?

132 replies

enkelt2 · 08/05/2025 20:45

So I just met a new friend, and we were having a chat in the park. He then stood up, saying 'I'm going to have to relieve myself soon'. We chatted for 3 more minutes, then he excused himself.

He came back, admitted to having relieved himself in a corner of the park.

I feel that it's not great to admit you just pissed in public. But how big of a deal is it really? And how do people feel about this? I have witnessed random men pissing in the park before...

I think the act itself not okay, but more than that, I find his totally being ok and telling me about it, a bit more disturbing than the fact of having done it.

Not looking to date this person. Just curious how you'd feel about this? Would you still hang out with them, etc.

I guess I'm just a bit shocked, since his demeanour is very calm and logical and it just doens't seem like something he'd do (and admit to doing!).

OP posts:
SelinaPlace · 08/05/2025 21:45

swimsong · 08/05/2025 21:36

I think this may be a difference between festival goers, country walkers & the like vs everyone else. Oh and the French - who still have village pissoirs.

Show quote history

But on a long country walk or at a festival you have to pee. You are on a festival site with a portaloo at best, or out on a moor or mountainside for eight hours or more. It’s completely different to meeting a friend in an urban park.

LlynTegid · 08/05/2025 21:45

Ugh, you can almost always plan ahead as to where a toilet is to use.

GotToWearShades · 08/05/2025 21:50

Whilst in the park is a bit unnecessary, but I'm not understanding that only kids can wee in the open air. Hikers have to wee on the mountain/behind a bush from time to time. Women for sure as we can't generally hold it all day.

Sadza · 08/05/2025 22:02

There are worse things.

SipandClean · 08/05/2025 22:02

Nobody bats an eyelid if a dog does it. Why is it such a big deal if a human does - especially if there are no loos nearby,

GreenFressia · 08/05/2025 22:08

It's not really the thing I would do if I was a new friend.

My dad has a wee all the time when we walk the dog at the beach, but it's a deserted sandy beach and the nearest toilet is maybe 5 miles away. Or if we are on a long hill walk.

SparklyGlitterballs · 08/05/2025 22:08

Always men isn't it. Just because it's easy for them they think it's acceptable. It's not. It's vile. I believe human urine also attracts rats (attracted to the ammonia and minerals in it). Then of course there's the hygiene issue...

CoastalCalm · 08/05/2025 22:11

Oh god as a Crohn’s sufferer I’ve had to do a lot worse !

bramblefoot · 08/05/2025 22:13

Did you say anything to him OP? Bit weird isn't it, did the park not have toilet facilities?

I don't think the park is the place to be unzipping your trousers for a wee when others are potentially going to come into view of that and find the lack of awareness of that on his behalf inconsiderate. I get that he can't be condemned as a person for being a bit grotty and shameless about it, especially as it might be a one off but I wouldn't want to go to the park with him again certainly.

Edenmum2 · 08/05/2025 22:18

I mean my DH will go out and about if he has to (never in view of anyone else obviously - I’m talking woods/ bushes etc) but we’re past the stage where that kind of thing would bother me. If it was ‘a new friend’ I would be quite surprised he told me that’s what he’d done. I guess age might be relevant - how old are you both?

Walkden · 08/05/2025 22:19

"It’s just vile, and always men"

Misandrist rubbish. It's more commonly men but women piss in the street / outdoors too

As a 13 year old walking my dog on a Saturday afternoon, I was walking up an alleyway around the corner from my house and came across a crouching woman pissing next to a wall/doorway It was a narrow alley so was a bit awkward ...

As an adult you sometimes see drunk women doing the same outside clubs and pubs on a Friday and Saturday night

EndlesslyDecluttering · 08/05/2025 22:21

If done discreetly and somewhere where no one is likely to be walking, litterpicking or whatever I don't think it's the end of the world. One of my close relatives has had prostate cancer treatment and when he needs to go he needs to go, no delay, it is very difficult for him and has resulted in him having to change job, it is humiliating.

Walkden · 08/05/2025 22:24

"Always men isn't it. Just because it's easy for them they think it's acceptable. It's not. It's vile"

There has literally been women admitting to shitting in the woods on this thread.....

FancyCatSlave · 08/05/2025 22:24

Depends where you live, I live rurally and am often a very long way from anywhere with public toilets (eg a 40 min car ride). Wild wees are the norm here for everyone on days out!

Zone 1 London would be a different matter.

Missj25 · 08/05/2025 22:28

enkelt2 · 08/05/2025 20:45

So I just met a new friend, and we were having a chat in the park. He then stood up, saying 'I'm going to have to relieve myself soon'. We chatted for 3 more minutes, then he excused himself.

He came back, admitted to having relieved himself in a corner of the park.

I feel that it's not great to admit you just pissed in public. But how big of a deal is it really? And how do people feel about this? I have witnessed random men pissing in the park before...

I think the act itself not okay, but more than that, I find his totally being ok and telling me about it, a bit more disturbing than the fact of having done it.

Not looking to date this person. Just curious how you'd feel about this? Would you still hang out with them, etc.

I guess I'm just a bit shocked, since his demeanour is very calm and logical and it just doens't seem like something he'd do (and admit to doing!).

That’s really weird ..
Grown ass adult peeing in a park in the middle of the day !
It would 💯 put me right off of someone…..

Moier · 08/05/2025 22:49

Often see cars on the hard shoulder and men stood next to them peeing.
It's disgusting.. but if you've got to go outside ..do it discreetly.. not in front of anyone.

ItGhoul · 08/05/2025 22:50

Depends on the park, where he went and how visible he was, whether there were loos available.

I regularly run in a huge park - for perspective, you can do a five-mile walk without retracing your steps. It includes two playgrounds, open parkland, woods, a lake and loads more. There’s one set of loos and they close at 5pm; park is open until dusk. If someone was walking their dog after 5pm and they needed a wee, their only option is pissing up a tree, basically.

Last year I was running around 8pm and saw a dog tied up on its own. Park was basically deserted. I was worried it had been abandoned and had stopped to say hello to it when a man of about m 60 emerged, mortified and hugely apologetic, from the bushes and explained it was his dog and he’d been caught short. It never occurred to me that this was a problem for other people. What else was he meant to do? Piss himself?

TheodoraCrumpet · 08/05/2025 23:01

I don't think it's necessarily a big deal, if he couldn't be seen and there were no toilets available. Park toilets in my area tend to close hours before dusk at this time of year. I might have thought it was a bit odd not to suggest going to a pub or somewhere like that in this situation, where you barely know the other person.

Octoberdreaming · 08/05/2025 23:03

It’s grotesque, uncivilised behaviour.
Such an act is only mildly acceptable for toddlers, or people with disabilities.
I personally would not want to associate with such an unhinged individual.

Bjorkdidit · 08/05/2025 23:29

Ah, the MN utopia where there's always a conveniently located toilet or everyone can 'just wait' for however many hours it takes to come across one.

It doesn't take that much imagination to realise that often, neither of the above applies. So when you gotta go, you've got to go. Surely you want a friend to feel comfortable and not be desperately trying not to wet himself?

As long as he wasn't pissing all over the swings, I don't see a problem. He probably felt he had to say what he was doing because it would have been more weird to just randomly dissappear for a few minutes.

Bjorkdidit · 08/05/2025 23:33

TheodoraCrumpet · 08/05/2025 23:01

I don't think it's necessarily a big deal, if he couldn't be seen and there were no toilets available. Park toilets in my area tend to close hours before dusk at this time of year. I might have thought it was a bit odd not to suggest going to a pub or somewhere like that in this situation, where you barely know the other person.

Pubs and cafes can be counterproductive because you'll likely need to go again when the drink you had finds your bladder and you may end up in the same situation.

Plus not everyone has the money or the time to spend on a drink because they just need the toilet, a basic human necessity.

Duckyfondant · 08/05/2025 23:44

I'd do this in the absence of public toilets. No urinary leash for me!

BlondiePortz · 08/05/2025 23:46

I can say at least one of us has been caught short outside at some stage but we have done it as discreetly as pissible

PrettyPuss · 08/05/2025 23:49

The occasional hedge ticket is necessary. Especially if you enjoy long country walks. I wouldn’t think very much about it realistically.

Arancia · 08/05/2025 23:56

It's a big deal to me. For several reasons:

  1. It's disgusting - not only won't the place stink of his urine, but his hands will be dirty after doing his business
  2. As an adult, he should be able to hold it in until he finds a toilet
  3. It's vulgar to piss anywhere else but in the toilet
  4. This gross habit will make me wonder what other gross habits he has