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Original poster

Is pissing in the park a giant red flag?

132 replies

enkelt2 · 08/05/2025 20:45

So I just met a new friend, and we were having a chat in the park. He then stood up, saying 'I'm going to have to relieve myself soon'. We chatted for 3 more minutes, then he excused himself.

He came back, admitted to having relieved himself in a corner of the park.

I feel that it's not great to admit you just pissed in public. But how big of a deal is it really? And how do people feel about this? I have witnessed random men pissing in the park before...

I think the act itself not okay, but more than that, I find his totally being ok and telling me about it, a bit more disturbing than the fact of having done it.

Not looking to date this person. Just curious how you'd feel about this? Would you still hang out with them, etc.

I guess I'm just a bit shocked, since his demeanour is very calm and logical and it just doens't seem like something he'd do (and admit to doing!).

OP posts:
PersonalBest · 08/05/2025 21:02

Would not bother me if discreet. It's only pee

PersonalBest · 08/05/2025 21:05

Have had many wild pees in my life! Including in people's front gardens late at night. Not these days mind you, but when I was young and out and about.

TomatoSandwiches · 08/05/2025 21:08

He's supposed to be on his best behaviour.....

Did he hold your hand afterwards? 🤢

Arlanymor · 08/05/2025 21:10

My dad is 80 this year and, on a very rare occasion, has to go for a wild wee if we’re out on a long walk, but not in a park where there are presumably toilets or a cafe or something nearby? We’re talking the coastal path and he’ll find an overgrown corner of a field and ‘water the brambles’. Unless he has a medical condition - prostate - or you were literally miles from anywhere then I can’t see why he would do this? Kudos for bravery/stupidity points for telling you I guess?!

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 08/05/2025 21:13

I suppose it would've been polite to stand up when he did and move on to find a toilet. How old is he? Old enough to be past his best bladder years?

Obviously he shouldn't be free-pissing in the park, but maybe he knew he couldn't make it to the nearest toilet. And he obviously should've at least pretended he'd been to the toilet block by saying nothing instead of sharing the grim details with you.

Chick981 · 08/05/2025 21:15

outofofficeagain · 08/05/2025 20:55

I’m 50. I have been known to go for a wee in the woods on a dog walk. My pelvic floor is not what it used to be.

Not a park though. Surely there would be nearby loos.

Show quote history

So glad it’s not just me, I’ve definitely needed a wild wee on a dog walk before.

Notashamed13 · 08/05/2025 21:16

Yabu.... when you gotta go you gotta go... but then I'm always wild weeing as I have a very outside in the sticks hobby. .... not something I could get worked up about..... dogs piss up everything which is now socially acceptable. .... what's the difference? (And don't say that the difference is that a dog is an animal because they are constantly being compared to children).

Original poster
enkelt2 · 08/05/2025 21:17

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 08/05/2025 21:13

I suppose it would've been polite to stand up when he did and move on to find a toilet. How old is he? Old enough to be past his best bladder years?

Obviously he shouldn't be free-pissing in the park, but maybe he knew he couldn't make it to the nearest toilet. And he obviously should've at least pretended he'd been to the toilet block by saying nothing instead of sharing the grim details with you.

yeah that's the thing, in the moment I think I glossed over what he said, or else I could have walked with him to the nearest toilet. With that in mind, perhaps it's not that big a deal... I guess I was a bit insensitive as well..

OP posts:
IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 08/05/2025 21:19

I think, if there are no toilets available and it's somewhere wooded and very easy to be discreet, it's probably harmless to slink away privately and do what you have to, without a fanfare.

The worst thing is not being able to wash your weeey hands afterwards, though.

Arlanymor · 08/05/2025 21:24

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 08/05/2025 21:19

I think, if there are no toilets available and it's somewhere wooded and very easy to be discreet, it's probably harmless to slink away privately and do what you have to, without a fanfare.

The worst thing is not being able to wash your weeey hands afterwards, though.

Although I think men tend to have more ‘I touched my penis’ hands than wee hands as they do the shake? Unless they are lavishly sprinkling I guess? Now have a vision of the Herbal Essences advert but in wild male weeing terms…

Arlanymor · 08/05/2025 21:26

enkelt2 · 08/05/2025 21:17

yeah that's the thing, in the moment I think I glossed over what he said, or else I could have walked with him to the nearest toilet. With that in mind, perhaps it's not that big a deal... I guess I was a bit insensitive as well..

Show quote history

Oh he could have said “Bear with me, I’ll be back shortly.” If he’s busting then hanging around for an extra three minutes of chat is daft of him and presumably you are not required to escort a new friend to the loo if he can adequately make his own way there? Unless you like toilet dates - I’m not here to make a judgement on that!

Tulipsontoast · 08/05/2025 21:27

It’s offensive and an offence. He could be arrested for exposing himself or a public order offence.

Lnew · 08/05/2025 21:27

It depends:

a) whether he could be seen pissing

b) whether there were any toilets nearby

If no to both, then it seems to have been a logical and fine thing to have done.

GeorgianaM · 08/05/2025 21:29

Did he wash his hands in the fountain?

If it was a medical emergency then it’s acceptable but as an adult you know to moderate your drinking if you are busing a place where you might get caught short.

Lnew · 08/05/2025 21:30

I have actually shat in the woods on a dog walk. The place was totally deserted, DH was lookout and we picked it up cleanly using a dogshit bag. Would have been at least an hour from any toilets. I can't see any problem with having done this. My DH thought it was hilarious.

Wishingplenty · 08/05/2025 21:31

I must be in the minority to think this is perfectly normal.

Teaandcake01 · 08/05/2025 21:32

I work for a charity that takes people into parks to do volunteer work. I can’t tell you how disrespectful & disheartening it is to see adults purposefully doing things like this in a space where people have literally volunteered hours of hard work to try & improve that space for wildlife & others in their community. There are always toilets in or around the park in pubs, cafes etc. That’s what we all use.

YouRemindMe0fTheBabe · 08/05/2025 21:32

What kind of park, OP? Are we talking a small play park where he could have been easily seen or a large country park with lots of tree cover? How far were you from a toilet? I've had to stop for a wild wee when out walking before. I don't see what the problem is.

Loomy · 08/05/2025 21:32

Yuk def wouldn’t want to see him again

CandelabraCat · 08/05/2025 21:34

Arlanymor · 08/05/2025 21:24

Although I think men tend to have more ‘I touched my penis’ hands than wee hands as they do the shake? Unless they are lavishly sprinkling I guess? Now have a vision of the Herbal Essences advert but in wild male weeing terms…

Show quote history

I hate to generalise but I don’t get the impression many men wash their hands after a wee anyway 😬

swimsong · 08/05/2025 21:36

Wishingplenty · 08/05/2025 21:31

I must be in the minority to think this is perfectly normal.

I think this may be a difference between festival goers, country walkers & the like vs everyone else. Oh and the French - who still have village pissoirs.

CandelabraCat · 08/05/2025 21:38

Wishingplenty · 08/05/2025 21:31

I must be in the minority to think this is perfectly normal.

I think you might just be in the minority to dare say so, given all the pearl clutching occurring 😂. I bet you get a lot of “agrees”.

Arlanymor · 08/05/2025 21:42

CandelabraCat · 08/05/2025 21:34

I hate to generalise but I don’t get the impression many men wash their hands after a wee anyway 😬

Show quote history

Well there is that point too! Penis hands are everywhere let alone wee hands!

I remember going to a pub at London Bridge with my best mate about a week before lockdown when we all had the sense something was on the way and were already being told to wash our bloody hands. I went to the loo and a girl went in at the same time, and we came to the sinks at the same time. I washed my hands, she looked at her reflection, flicked her hair and left without washing her hands.

Both my mate and I worked in healthcare at the time and when we got back to our table I had a scowl on and he asked me why and I whispered what had happened. She was at the table next to us, snogging her chap and running her hands through his hair and at the top of his voice - in a broad Wigan accent - he announced: “Oh bloody hell, I would hate it if my partner went to the toilet, couldn’t be arsed to wash her minging hands and then ran them all over me!” And then gave her an arch look!

He’s a liability, but he wasn’t wrong!

Original poster
enkelt2 · 08/05/2025 21:44

Arlanymor · 08/05/2025 21:42

Well there is that point too! Penis hands are everywhere let alone wee hands!

I remember going to a pub at London Bridge with my best mate about a week before lockdown when we all had the sense something was on the way and were already being told to wash our bloody hands. I went to the loo and a girl went in at the same time, and we came to the sinks at the same time. I washed my hands, she looked at her reflection, flicked her hair and left without washing her hands.

Both my mate and I worked in healthcare at the time and when we got back to our table I had a scowl on and he asked me why and I whispered what had happened. She was at the table next to us, snogging her chap and running her hands through his hair and at the top of his voice - in a broad Wigan accent - he announced: “Oh bloody hell, I would hate it if my partner went to the toilet, couldn’t be arsed to wash her minging hands and then ran them all over me!” And then gave her an arch look!

He’s a liability, but he wasn’t wrong!

Show quote history

penis hands... lol

OP posts:
IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 08/05/2025 21:45

CandelabraCat · 08/05/2025 21:34

I hate to generalise but I don’t get the impression many men wash their hands after a wee anyway 😬

Show quote history

I remember many years ago seeing a kind of prank experiment on a TV programme (with Chris Evans, iirc), where they laid out some platters of lovely-looking salad next to the sinks in a gents' toilet, to see if anybody would take food that was open and offered from inside a public toilet.

They had to abandon the experiment before very long as barely any of the men went anywhere near the sinks to even see the salad; much less decide whether they wanted to eat any or not!