Oh I remember this well. Very much wanted babies, both of them, but I absolutely despised them once they were here. Everyone else's babies seemed so easy, and mine just screamed and cried the second their eyes were open until they went to sleep. I dreaded them waking up from a rare, unpredictable nap, while everyone else seemed to be able to put theirs down and know they'd sleep for a solid hour or two. I was lucky to get 15 minutes, and then the relentless screaming would start again. I don't have much advice op, apart from if you feel it getting too much, put them down somewhere safe and go make a cup of tea, preferably playing loud music to drown out the crying. Being alone crying for 15 minutes while you recharge isn't harmful to them, and if you then have chance to regather and compose yourself, then next hour will feel more tolerable. All I will say is, everyone I know who had easy babies, had a shock with the toddler stage, where as me and the couple of mums with the more difficult babies, found it a breeze as they got older, and to be honest, the difficult babies, ended up being the easy going, "dream" toddlers. I do think some babies just hate being babies, as soon as my eldest could sit up, she became easier, then again once she could communicate and started becoming mobile, she was the happiest most content little soul, and still is at 11. Most chilled out happy go lucky kid, none of the drama we see in her peers, you wouldn't believe it, seeing how "angry" she was as a baby! My second was similar, and now we know she has some sensory issues especially around clothing, and I do wonder if this played a part in her baby rage, as she probably couldn't stand the feel of certain things, but obviously couldn't tell us. From the age she could walk, she made it quite clear what clothing she did and didn't like, and it transformed her personality. She's now 8, and still is very particular about what she will and won't wear. It's so hard when you're in the midst of it, I absolutely hated that stage, everyday seems to drag, but it will be oh so worth it even in as little as 3 to 4 months time, your baby will likely be sitting up, able to entertain himself a bit, and his little personality will blossom. I know it's hard, but try not to compare him to the others, I spent far too long wishing my babies were like my friends, but I tell you what, I didn't feel that way once they were toddling around, and mine seemed like a breeze compared to the others! Just do what you can to get through the days, and any little things that can make life a tad easier, like having that cup of tea, and taking 10 mins out here and there, to restructure your day with little moments of peace. Don't feel guilty, so long as everyone's safe, and basic needs are met, you're doing all you can right now. On your husband's days off, go out. Have an hour or two by yourself. This was key in my mental health. Mine were breastfed and didn't like taking bottles, but I'd express, feed them, and go out, knowing that if they were at the point of starvation, they would take that bottle. And just that respite out by myself not worrying about anyone else, even if just twice a week for an hour, was bliss and helped me to get through the next few days.