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WWYD when your DH buys terrible clothes?

117 replies

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:15

DH has form for making odd clothing choices. He’s spent so much money over the years on expensive clothes, some of which he likes, many he doesn’t (and feels bad about) but persists in wearing because they cost money. I think he’s never worked out his own style - he says he aspires to smart casual but refuses to wear jeans, thinks blazers / sports jackets are too ‘posh’. He keeps buying ‘practical’ clothes then being disappointed that he looks like a workie 🤦‍♀️.

if he asks my opinion, I will give it honestly. I try to be helpful, suggest alternatives. I always compliment him when he wears something that looks great. My problem is that he often doesn’t want my opinion: he wants my approval - even if I hate it.

He’s just bought another item, imported from overseas, so both expensive and hard to return 🤦‍♀️. It’s horrible and I have no idea why he bought it. The first time he wears it I’m going to find it very hard to say anything positive - I suspect my face will give me away.

so what do you do in this situation? fake approval? Neutral expression - which will be taken as criticism? As is anything along the lines of ‘do you like it? Great, that’s what counts!’

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:16

What's a workie?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 04/05/2025 08:16

Why does he refuse to wear jeans?!

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:17

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 04/05/2025 08:16

Why does he refuse to wear jeans?!

Says they are uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 04/05/2025 08:17

Well he has his style and you have yours, so I’d probably say “you always look sexy to me, because it’s not really a clothes thing”.

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/05/2025 08:18

If he asks, I tell him my view. If he doesn’t, then I would only say something if I really hated whatever it was he was wearing. (Sometimes he asks, sometimes he doesn’t). My partner has quite an unusual style I suppose - he’s a creative and it shows, lol. I just go with it - he’s a grown man after all. I find him sexy anyway!

curious79 · 04/05/2025 08:18

Can you find a stylist for him to achieve the look he wants? It sounds tragic

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:18

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:16

What's a workie?

Workman - any kind of tradesperson or manual worker.

OP posts:
Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 08:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ScrewedByFunding · 04/05/2025 08:19

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:18

Workman - any kind of tradesperson or manual worker.

So he's basically buying tracksuits?

You're being weirdly vague. .

twointhemorning · 04/05/2025 08:19

It sound like he doesn't know where to start.

Could you send him for a colour and style analysis with House of Colour?
They will give him his best colours and style suggestions that suit his personality and body architecture. Men particularly like rules or guidance over what to buy.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 04/05/2025 08:19

I go shopping with my dh.
And basically say to him " you are not going out like that" when needed.
Works for us!

CanYouTurnItDown · 04/05/2025 08:19

It’s all a matter of personal taste, so unless he’s asking for your help and opinion, back off.

dudsville · 04/05/2025 08:20

Is this about your own discomfort about how he dresses?

Bigearringsbigsmile · 04/05/2025 08:20

What is it he has bought?

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:20

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:18

Workman - any kind of tradesperson or manual worker.

Oh. What a horrible term. Sounds classist. And snobby.

seasonalexpression · 04/05/2025 08:20

It sounds like you can’t win in this situation tbh. If he doesn’t want your suggestions or opinions then he needs to lump it if you don't approve of something he’s purchased.

Maybe he needs to go physical clothes shopping so he can try things on at the shops before he commits to buying? You could go with him and show him more on trend items?

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:21

CanYouTurnItDown · 04/05/2025 08:19

It’s all a matter of personal taste, so unless he’s asking for your help and opinion, back off.

He does, often. And as I said he seeks my active approval - then gets all huffy when I can’t give it.

OP posts:
Boredlass · 04/05/2025 08:21

You shouldn’t dictate what he wears. He can wear whatever he wants. It’s his choice. I’d love to see the replies if the DH was dictating to the OP what she should wear

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:22

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:20

Oh. What a horrible term. Sounds classist. And snobby.

It’s quite normal to use in Scotland (where I’m from). It’s not derogatory at all.

OP posts:
Fourecks · 04/05/2025 08:22

CanYouTurnItDown · 04/05/2025 08:19

It’s all a matter of personal taste, so unless he’s asking for your help and opinion, back off.

It sounds like the problem is that he is asking for her opinion, then getting upset if she doesn't like his outfit. She shouldn't have to lie though!

TimingOff · 04/05/2025 08:22

What does he do/wear for work?

Also please tell us what the imported item is 👀

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:23

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:22

It’s quite normal to use in Scotland (where I’m from). It’s not derogatory at all.

Fair enough, thanks for clarifying, as it's not something I have heard of ever.

CanYouTurnItDown · 04/05/2025 08:24

So if he asks you, you say ‘I’m not keen on it I’m afraid, but I think that other thing really suits you’.

Personally I’m with him on blazers and sports jackets and think the ‘workie’ look is much more appealing but if he’s genuinely wanting to find his own look he needs to talk to someone other than you, who clearly has their own ideas about what is nice and what isn’t.

Maybe suggest he looks on instagram or Pinterest to find looks that he likes

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:25

dudsville · 04/05/2025 08:20

Is this about your own discomfort about how he dresses?

I think it used to but I don’t really care as much now - it’s his choice what to wear and I respect that. It’s the seeking of my approval that I find hard - I’m not good at faking that just to keep the peace / avoid being huffed at.

OP posts:
TammyJones · 04/05/2025 08:25

ScrewedByFunding · 04/05/2025 08:19

So he's basically buying tracksuits?

You're being weirdly vague. .

I was thinking more boiler suits….what exactly is he buying?