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WWYD when your DH buys terrible clothes?

117 replies

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:15

DH has form for making odd clothing choices. He’s spent so much money over the years on expensive clothes, some of which he likes, many he doesn’t (and feels bad about) but persists in wearing because they cost money. I think he’s never worked out his own style - he says he aspires to smart casual but refuses to wear jeans, thinks blazers / sports jackets are too ‘posh’. He keeps buying ‘practical’ clothes then being disappointed that he looks like a workie 🤦‍♀️.

if he asks my opinion, I will give it honestly. I try to be helpful, suggest alternatives. I always compliment him when he wears something that looks great. My problem is that he often doesn’t want my opinion: he wants my approval - even if I hate it.

He’s just bought another item, imported from overseas, so both expensive and hard to return 🤦‍♀️. It’s horrible and I have no idea why he bought it. The first time he wears it I’m going to find it very hard to say anything positive - I suspect my face will give me away.

so what do you do in this situation? fake approval? Neutral expression - which will be taken as criticism? As is anything along the lines of ‘do you like it? Great, that’s what counts!’

OP posts:
queenMab99 · 04/05/2025 09:35

If the term 'workie' is not derogatory, why can't he look like one?

Bluevelvetsofa · 04/05/2025 09:36

Most of the men round here seem to be wearing jersey shorts at the moment, which must be one of the most unflattering garments ever produced.

ItsMutinyontheBunty · 04/05/2025 09:39

twointhemorning · 04/05/2025 08:19

It sound like he doesn't know where to start.

Could you send him for a colour and style analysis with House of Colour?
They will give him his best colours and style suggestions that suit his personality and body architecture. Men particularly like rules or guidance over what to buy.

That’s what I was going to say! I had mine done about 7 years ago and it totally changed how I shop. I rarely return anything now because I’m confident in knowing what styles and colours suit me. It’s made shopping so much easier.

dottydodah · 04/05/2025 09:40

My DH seems to like being scruffy! So clothes hes had for ever seem to come out.Trips to M and S and looking at clothes there .jeans chinos and so on may help ? My DH likes to poke about and I keep ideas for Fathers Day(buy a present for each other as well ) BD Xmas and so on

Hoppinggreen · 04/05/2025 09:41

DH doesn't buy clothes, he has no interest in clothes at all.
On the odd occasion he has it hasn't gone well but I don't say anything, I let the DC (gently) take the piss until he gets the message

ForZanyAquaViewer · 04/05/2025 09:44

queenMab99 · 04/05/2025 09:35

If the term 'workie' is not derogatory, why can't he look like one?

Because the look he’s going for is smart casual. Not workie.

Workie is a job description. So it’s like asking ‘if the term librarian/professor/kindergarten teacher isn’t derogatory, why can’t he dress like one?’

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 04/05/2025 09:45

@rickyrickygrimes Can you share a pic of his recent purchase to see what you mean? it might make it easier to understand the style he is aiming for.

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 09:46

queenMab99 · 04/05/2025 09:35

If the term 'workie' is not derogatory, why can't he look like one?

I didn’t say he couldn’t. He says he wants to dress smart / casual - then buys clothes that are the direct opposite of smart. Then gets huffy if I don’t like them 🤷‍♀️ I’m left saying ‘but you said you wanted to look smarter? So why did you buy this?’ Which is apparently me being mean and undermining his confidence.

i probably am too blunt and he is too sensitive.

OP posts:
Wbeezer · 04/05/2025 09:46

I've got quite good at complimenting incongruous outfits, DS3 is a fashion design student who thinks clashing styles and fabrics and maximalist accessories are what to aim for ( I like simple clothes). He often looks like a dogs dinner to me but I find something nice to say if he seems to want to me to comment. It's got easier with practice.
Ironically he's a tall strong lad and would look better dressed like a workie
Sorry not a useful post really!

ForZanyAquaViewer · 04/05/2025 09:47

OP, I’d honestly just say everything you’ve written here to him.

Also, just because I’m clearly lacking in imagination, what do men who don’t wear jeans wear instead? For like casual occasions - meeting friends in a bar, going to a gig, that sort of thing. Chinos?

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 09:48

ItsMutinyontheBunty · 04/05/2025 09:39

That’s what I was going to say! I had mine done about 7 years ago and it totally changed how I shop. I rarely return anything now because I’m confident in knowing what styles and colours suit me. It’s made shopping so much easier.

We actually both had our colours done a few years ago. It’s hard to find many gents clothes in his best colours though - everything is mud / brown / grey / khaki - so I do sympathise with him on this.

we didn’t get the style review.

OP posts:
beetr00 · 04/05/2025 09:49

@rickyrickygrimes don't lie, just say not ma cup o' tea

Here is the solution 😉

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 09:49

Bluevelvetsofa · 04/05/2025 09:36

Most of the men round here seem to be wearing jersey shorts at the moment, which must be one of the most unflattering garments ever produced.

They look great on my fit, tall, teen boys but I agree totally.

OP posts:
Parker231 · 04/05/2025 09:50

Bigearringsbigsmile · 04/05/2025 08:19

I go shopping with my dh.
And basically say to him " you are not going out like that" when needed.
Works for us!

I assume he says the same back to you ?

Bunnyisputbackinthebox · 04/05/2025 09:56

Surely in a marriage it's OK to say bloody hell that's awful?
Dh knows he has items I can't stand... A coat for example that looks like a teenager should be wearing it.. He's 44.
Or those half arse out trousers that look like he's shit himself. I'm not walking around with him in any of those!!
Is having people sniggering at your other half not worth preventing in the first instance? As in behind closed doors...
When we met his sandals def did not come to my wardrobe but the recycling centre.. Even though he paid £££ from Next... Urgh....

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/05/2025 10:02

I just told dh I wasn’t going to be seen dead out with him in whatever horrible thing it was. Though to be fair he is colour blind, which didn’t help.
Eventually he stopped buying any clothes on his own.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 04/05/2025 10:16

@rickyrickygrimes pic of the offending latest purchase please?

DelphiniumBlue · 04/05/2025 10:17

I’d carry on being direct when he asks for your opinion. I might even laugh at the items you’ve described, OP!
And I’d make a big point of praising items that are appropriate and suit him, and tell him when he’s wearing colours and styles that do look nice on him.
Having said that, I’m having great difficulty weaning DH away from his preferred summer shirts- short sleeved, thin material, horrible off white/ pale colours. I do feel it would be wrong to actually throw away his things secretly, but if they go to the bottom of the ironing basket, they’re less likely to be ironed and worn.
I know some posters have suggested polo shirts, but they are not always flattering on chubsters, unless they are also muscly on the arms. Built Different T-shirts and polos are designed for chubbier guys, and don’t cling around middle unflatteringly, might be worth trying.
My DH ( tall but with a beer belly) looks better in shirts with sleeves rolled up. His wardrobe used to be from Debenhams, but now Fatface or White Stuff as he likes a patterned ( small checks or prints, nothing loud) shirt.
As for trousers, there’s not really a lot of choice in shapes. You could get him to try stretchier jeans but not slim/ skinny ones, otherwise it’s chinos or straight leg trousers with or without a pleat.
His age makes a difference, younger men might get away with joggers for most things IF they are cool cuts and in good condition, not old polyester light grey ones. My 2 younger sons 24 & 30 wear joggers or cargos for everything. The older one at 32 has never worn joggers or cargos, and wears jeans for everything, or occasionally chinos. Cords might be a possibility?
In your position, I think I’d just order a load of things I think would work , and get him to try them at home.

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Irie1980 · 04/05/2025 10:19

I really want to know what he bought.

Sparkletastic · 04/05/2025 10:57

Tell him to knock it off with the online purchases and you’ll go actual shopping with him.

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 11:11

Sparkletastic · 04/05/2025 10:57

Tell him to knock it off with the online purchases and you’ll go actual shopping with him.

Actual shopping is a nightmare, TBF. We are not in the UK and there is no local equivalent of M&S / Debenhams etc. There are a lot of expensive, high-quality shops and a lot of not-so-cheap crap with very little in between. Plus local men tend to be a lot skinnier than DH is. We both tend to shop online these days.

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 04/05/2025 13:27

I mean if he asks you just be honest but I couldn't get too upset about it. I don't comment on DH clothes unless he is wearing something inapproriate for a certain event (i.e. wanting to wear super casual stuff to a funeral or wedding). Mine wears black combats, a plain or silly tshirt and a chunky cardigan pretty much all the time. Yeah I think he could wear nicer stuff but he is happy and comfortable so it isn't my business!

However the gillet and patterned shirt combo does sound awful 😁

ejm05 · 04/05/2025 18:28

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:16

What's a workie?

A workman

loropianalover · 04/05/2025 18:31

I’d keep being honest when you don’t like something.

Can you pick him up a few basic pieces online that would be suitable for work and weekends? UNIQLO maybe?

HarrietsweetHarriet · 04/05/2025 19:19

Choose a store with a sustainable ethos where you like everything they do and you think the general styling would work for your DH. Gently encourage him there.
Also try vintage stores and markets.
My DH lets me be his 'stylist ' as he knows I have a good eye and know what suits him and what he likes.