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WWYD when your DH buys terrible clothes?

117 replies

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:15

DH has form for making odd clothing choices. He’s spent so much money over the years on expensive clothes, some of which he likes, many he doesn’t (and feels bad about) but persists in wearing because they cost money. I think he’s never worked out his own style - he says he aspires to smart casual but refuses to wear jeans, thinks blazers / sports jackets are too ‘posh’. He keeps buying ‘practical’ clothes then being disappointed that he looks like a workie 🤦‍♀️.

if he asks my opinion, I will give it honestly. I try to be helpful, suggest alternatives. I always compliment him when he wears something that looks great. My problem is that he often doesn’t want my opinion: he wants my approval - even if I hate it.

He’s just bought another item, imported from overseas, so both expensive and hard to return 🤦‍♀️. It’s horrible and I have no idea why he bought it. The first time he wears it I’m going to find it very hard to say anything positive - I suspect my face will give me away.

so what do you do in this situation? fake approval? Neutral expression - which will be taken as criticism? As is anything along the lines of ‘do you like it? Great, that’s what counts!’

OP posts:
LivingDeadGirlUK · 04/05/2025 08:26

I think you just need to accept he is finding his style.

SirChenjins · 04/05/2025 08:26

DH is very colour blind so I regularly have to comment on some very odd choices. I tend to go shopping with DH to reduce the likelihood of the odd choices, and do a combination of really admiring the stuff I like that he’s bought without me or telling him I prefer x, y or z because they suit him better. My face does sometimes give my feelings away, but he’s (sort of) accepting of his limitations and even if he does huff he comes round.

squarepegroudhole · 04/05/2025 08:26

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:22

It’s quite normal to use in Scotland (where I’m from). It’s not derogatory at all.

Yep, workie or tradie. Scotland here too.

DiligentFlautist · 04/05/2025 08:26

What exactly is he wearing?

SirChenjins · 04/05/2025 08:27

squarepegroudhole · 04/05/2025 08:26

Yep, workie or tradie. Scotland here too.

Same. Workie/tradie are just words up here, not derogatory at all.

Mumofoneandone · 04/05/2025 08:27

My DH is pretty rubbish at styling clothes - wore suits all his working life......
When we got together, he'd lost lots of weight, so needed a new wardrobe, so helped him choose things - think he appreciated my input as ex's hadn't been bothered!
Fortunately I can order a pile of clothes for him to try on, he'll pick what he likes and send back anything else. Odd things he's kept and never worn and I've just got rid of eventually.
He's generally pretty well turned out now - tho sometimes have to remind him to put a clean something on!!

TorroFerney · 04/05/2025 08:28

CanYouTurnItDown · 04/05/2025 08:19

It’s all a matter of personal taste, so unless he’s asking for your help and opinion, back off.

Well it’s not is it, he wants her to endorse it. He wants her opinion but after the event.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 04/05/2025 08:28

Just tell us what he's buying!!

soupyspoon · 04/05/2025 08:28

Yeah apparently Im controlling because as we go out the door I say 'you're not wearing that combination'!!!

I think a lot of men have no idea how to dress.

dudsville · 04/05/2025 08:29

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:25

I think it used to but I don’t really care as much now - it’s his choice what to wear and I respect that. It’s the seeking of my approval that I find hard - I’m not good at faking that just to keep the peace / avoid being huffed at.

Ah, I see. Well I guess you don't have to fake your response. Just smile and say it's not your cup of tea, but you can see why he chose it?

SuperGinger · 04/05/2025 08:29

His body, his choice of clothes, don't get involved or comment.

TorroFerney · 04/05/2025 08:30

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:20

Oh. What a horrible term. Sounds classist. And snobby.

Well it sounds like the opposite to me ie only people in manual jobs do actual work! That was very much my dad’s ethos , only proper jobs were manual jobs. Whilst really we are all workies.

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:31

TorroFerney · 04/05/2025 08:30

Well it sounds like the opposite to me ie only people in manual jobs do actual work! That was very much my dad’s ethos , only proper jobs were manual jobs. Whilst really we are all workies.

Well we're entitled to disagree.

Anewdawnanewname · 04/05/2025 08:32

Buy him some things so that he gets used to different styles. If you post links to what he’s actually buying and then what he thinks he’s going for, people can make suggestions.

mushforbrain · 04/05/2025 08:32

SuperGinger · 04/05/2025 08:29

His body, his choice of clothes, don't get involved or comment.

Have you read the thread? He is asking her to comment. Or should she just ignore him and refuse to answer? 🙄

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:32

TammyJones · 04/05/2025 08:25

I was thinking more boiler suits….what exactly is he buying?

Well the most recent thing is a kind of utility vest / gilet thing that he plans to wear to work with patterned shirts. Lots of pockets / zips, pre faded colour.

Another recent purchase (which could be returned) was a pair of chunky trainers, which were every shade of brown in a really jazzy pattern.

but like I said, it’s not the item itself - it’s that he wants me to say ‘that’s lovely dear’ when I clearly hate it.

OP posts:
BleachedJumper · 04/05/2025 08:33

Can you give some links/pictures to the kind of outfits he’s putting together?

I take it that he isn’t a tradesperson/manual labourer. What does he do for work? Does he wear his own clothes there or a uniform?

What is it that you don’t like about his choices? Garish colours, loud logos, ill fitting, poor quality fabrics?

I sometimes don’t like when my DP wears something that is beyond tatty, and should really be relegated to dog walking/gardening grade clothes. He had some shorts that were good quality he really likes, but they’re now 15+ years old and seen better days. The style/fit is no longer available, so he can’t directly replace them so persists with them every summer.

soupyspoon · 04/05/2025 08:34

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:32

Well the most recent thing is a kind of utility vest / gilet thing that he plans to wear to work with patterned shirts. Lots of pockets / zips, pre faded colour.

Another recent purchase (which could be returned) was a pair of chunky trainers, which were every shade of brown in a really jazzy pattern.

but like I said, it’s not the item itself - it’s that he wants me to say ‘that’s lovely dear’ when I clearly hate it.

Oh yes, my OH gets these, usually in Lidl or Aldi or somewhere, huge numbers of pockets, he looks like a big pocket walking down the street. Awful awful awful.

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/05/2025 08:35

The gilet thing and the trainers do sound bloody awful! Do you have pics of these monstrosities?

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:35

soupyspoon · 04/05/2025 08:34

Oh yes, my OH gets these, usually in Lidl or Aldi or somewhere, huge numbers of pockets, he looks like a big pocket walking down the street. Awful awful awful.

‘Looks like a big pocket’ 🤣🤣🤣

yep, that’s it.

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 04/05/2025 08:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

This to say anything is controlling same if he had an opinion on what you wear

BountifulPantry · 04/05/2025 08:38

Interesting to hear how much some people are involved in their other half’s wardrobes. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on mine except to say he looks nice when he looks nice.

HelloCheekyCat · 04/05/2025 08:39

SuperGinger · 04/05/2025 08:29

His body, his choice of clothes, don't get involved or comment.

But he's asking for her involvement and comment!

Communitywebbing · 04/05/2025 08:40

If he asked me I’d be honest. You can’t dictate what he wears but he can’t expect you to tell lies to please him.

yeesh · 04/05/2025 08:48

Sounds horrendous 🙈 my husband does wear starwars T-shirts though 🤣