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WWYD when your DH buys terrible clothes?

117 replies

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:15

DH has form for making odd clothing choices. He’s spent so much money over the years on expensive clothes, some of which he likes, many he doesn’t (and feels bad about) but persists in wearing because they cost money. I think he’s never worked out his own style - he says he aspires to smart casual but refuses to wear jeans, thinks blazers / sports jackets are too ‘posh’. He keeps buying ‘practical’ clothes then being disappointed that he looks like a workie 🤦‍♀️.

if he asks my opinion, I will give it honestly. I try to be helpful, suggest alternatives. I always compliment him when he wears something that looks great. My problem is that he often doesn’t want my opinion: he wants my approval - even if I hate it.

He’s just bought another item, imported from overseas, so both expensive and hard to return 🤦‍♀️. It’s horrible and I have no idea why he bought it. The first time he wears it I’m going to find it very hard to say anything positive - I suspect my face will give me away.

so what do you do in this situation? fake approval? Neutral expression - which will be taken as criticism? As is anything along the lines of ‘do you like it? Great, that’s what counts!’

OP posts:
Sillyname63 · 04/05/2025 19:33

ScrewedByFunding · 04/05/2025 08:19

So he's basically buying tracksuits?

You're being weirdly vague. .

No I would say , trousers with side pockets and check shirts .

PersephoneSmith · 04/05/2025 21:44

Why don’t you go looking at clothes together? Online I mean, try Jacamo and bad rhino if he’s overweight. It should be quite straightforward to pinpoint things you approve of that he likes.

FNDandme · 04/05/2025 22:23

Not buying terrible clothes (trying to get my DH to buy clothes is a nightmare! Think it stems from his childhood and his mum bought everything for him until we met, no lie!) he doesn’t dress for the weather - think big chunky jumper in the recent ☀️ we’ve had 🥵made me feel ill from heat just looking at him - and recently has taken to wearing his gilet as it has pockets lots of pockets 🤦‍♀️

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 05/05/2025 10:04

soupyspoon · 04/05/2025 08:28

Yeah apparently Im controlling because as we go out the door I say 'you're not wearing that combination'!!!

I think a lot of men have no idea how to dress.

Same, and DH says if he doesn't like something too.

I do the same with friends, that colour doesn't suit you, that's aging etc.
We're not controlling each other, but giving advice.

No one gets it right every time, and if asked, why not be honest.

Keep being honest OP and hopefully he'll find his style soon enough.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 05/05/2025 10:25

ForZanyAquaViewer · 04/05/2025 09:44

Because the look he’s going for is smart casual. Not workie.

Workie is a job description. So it’s like asking ‘if the term librarian/professor/kindergarten teacher isn’t derogatory, why can’t he dress like one?’

Precisely!

People getting offended for no reason.

Posh, sporty or farmer are looks too.

It can only be derogatory if you think it is.

Tallisker · 05/05/2025 10:53

ForZanyAquaViewer · 04/05/2025 09:47

OP, I’d honestly just say everything you’ve written here to him.

Also, just because I’m clearly lacking in imagination, what do men who don’t wear jeans wear instead? For like casual occasions - meeting friends in a bar, going to a gig, that sort of thing. Chinos?

My DH wears chinos in the summer and moleskins in the winter.

MaddestGranny · 05/05/2025 11:48

If he's aiming for smart-casual and he likes gilet-type things, then maybe focus him towards the "posh boy/red-trouser" look, which is corduroy trousers (they come in lots of different colours) with Tattersall check shirts in winter, and linen trousers with plain, strong-coloured linen or linen/cotton-mix shirts in summer.
And linen shorts - if he's in love with shorts, never jersey!
Two UK online sellers, which do tons of casual clothes for men, are: Lands End and (I think) Regatta. Or, more up-market/expensive, Poetry Fashion for Men.

ps - if you haven't come across John Finnemore's Red Trousers song, look it up on YouTube.

TeaAndStrumpets · 05/05/2025 12:47

MaddestGranny · 05/05/2025 11:48

If he's aiming for smart-casual and he likes gilet-type things, then maybe focus him towards the "posh boy/red-trouser" look, which is corduroy trousers (they come in lots of different colours) with Tattersall check shirts in winter, and linen trousers with plain, strong-coloured linen or linen/cotton-mix shirts in summer.
And linen shorts - if he's in love with shorts, never jersey!
Two UK online sellers, which do tons of casual clothes for men, are: Lands End and (I think) Regatta. Or, more up-market/expensive, Poetry Fashion for Men.

ps - if you haven't come across John Finnemore's Red Trousers song, look it up on YouTube.

I second Lands End. DH likes their shirts, decent quality and last for years. Their seersucker shirts are 100% cotton and easy care. For winter it's the lumberjack look, sadly, with their flannel plaid. They are very soft and warm.

I once had to stop DH going out wearing a plaid shirt with a handknit Fair Isle sleeveless pullover. Oh my eyes! And yes, full length sleeves rolled up..won't wear a t shirt. Maybe it's an age thing.

Rohan trousers are much loved by DH...not only do they have loads of pockets but many of them have zips! Rather pricey but they last forever.

Sunburstclocklover · 06/05/2025 15:42

Arlanymor · 04/05/2025 08:20

Oh. What a horrible term. Sounds classist. And snobby.

Really?! Just sounds Scottish to me!

Arlanymor · 07/05/2025 19:03

Sunburstclocklover · 06/05/2025 15:42

Really?! Just sounds Scottish to me!

Fair enough, I’m not Scottish! Doubt you’ve heard of some colloquialisms down my way!

mathanxiety · 07/05/2025 19:11

"How do I look?" - beaming, all smiles...

"Depends what you're going for. What look we're you going for?"

Then he has either nailed it or 'needs some tweaking'.

mathanxiety · 07/05/2025 19:16

I second the suggestion of Land's End, for chinos, all kinds of smart casual shirts from tailored to knit, sweaters, footwear, shorts - all decent quality.

Maray1967 · 18/12/2025 14:03

Bigearringsbigsmile · 04/05/2025 08:19

I go shopping with my dh.
And basically say to him " you are not going out like that" when needed.
Works for us!

Same here!

We have had several conversations over casual black boots not being suitable for graduation and weddings. I put my foot down over those. He tried to tell me he did not need to dress smartly for DS’s graduation. I reminded him which of us has a job that involves going to graduation ceremonies every year. When we got there every father of DS’s group of mates was in full
office wear including smart shoes.

The only other item I banned was a truly awful pair of three quarter length camo trousers. He has short legs so these looked terrible. I said they were for gardening only and as soon as they started thinning in one area I shoved them in the fabric recycling.

MaxandMeg · 18/12/2025 15:17

rickyrickygrimes · 04/05/2025 08:22

It’s quite normal to use in Scotland (where I’m from). It’s not derogatory at all.

Seconded

sprigatito · 18/12/2025 15:20

I disposed of a particularly gross beige hairy jumper of DH’s once, back when we were first married. He refused to get rid of it so on Bonfire Night when we had a party, I dressed the guy in it, brought it out and burnt it on the bonfire. I posted on a MN thread at the time and got called all kinds of abusive monster, but I have no regrets!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 18/12/2025 15:30

Dh used to buy some truly awful things - and they weren’t cheap. The only excuse I can make is that he’s colour blind.

We were mostly living in Oman at the time (he’d have bought them in London) so I would just tell him straight that I wasn’t going to be seen dead with him in that.

We passed a lot of it (brand new) to the Indian chap who helped in the house. It was all too big for him, but he’d be very pleased anyway - he did a very nice line in flogging it to other expat worker Indians, of which there were many.

Dh hardly ever buys himself anything now - he’ll leave virtually all of it to me.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/12/2025 17:12

Yep, I’ve controlled every outfit my DH has ever worn when out with me. Or I’d be sitting somewhere else.

this is the only area I’m ‘controlling’ in and is more to do with him wearing something appropriate so we can get in places or us vaguely looking like we could be together.

I wasn’t a fan of his homeless tracksuit wearing (extremely short tracksuit, non matching socks, his elderly dads old shoes fit not even for a bin) so right from the off I told him I liked going to bars/restaurants and he’d need to dress suitably.

we’ve been to the theatre today. I’m wearing a sequinned silver suit and he’s appropriately dressed in green cords and a red jumper.

I would welcome any comments on my outfits and he’s always commenting positively.

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