Neighbour banging on window at 2yo playing in the garden!

[Ibytam]

This happened about 15 minutes ago. These neighbours aren’t very pleasant tbh, I have no idea if either of them work night shifts but it’s the only reason I can assume a person would bang on the window because of a child playing in their garden, I figure they must be sleeping.

Anyway, I wanted to know what others thought of this because my immediate reaction has been to get him inside, it made me feel super awkward and I’m the kind of person who’s overly polite. After speaking to my mum, who seemed furious, I now realise maybe that was the wrong thing to do. She says it’s midday and you can’t stop people from being in their garden during the daytime just because they work night shifts, something that is entirely their own choice.

I can understand if he was screaming overly loud or crying etc, or maybe even multiple children screaming. But he was just going around on his trike shouting ‘beep beep’ whilst giggling to himself. Our garden is also in an L shape and he was actually playing on the side that’s furthest away from their house too.

What does everybody else think about this?

I wouldn’t take him inside but like you have a right to let him play outside they also have a right to enjoy their home without being disturbed. Maybe just distract him from shouting beep beep or take him to a park maybe? We can all fall into the trap of “I have a right to do this” but then if everyone thinks like this everyone would be unhappy as we would all find something that would piss someone else off. Like they could exercise their right to blast music in the back garden until 11pm but would that be respectful? I think maybe a compromise on this one.

That’s fine but like on my other post what if the neighbours wanted to say ok well they have a right to play loud music and shout in the back garden until 11pm ignoring the fact children will be asleep for schools the next day, because by law they can? Maybe it’s just a bit having a bit of compromise and respect for eachother and working with eachother

God, l wish the only noise l had from next door was a toddler shouting beep beep!
I've got three older boys who seem to spend every waking minute outside yelling, kicking footballs against the fence (and over it, into my garden) and clattering on a pogo stick on their patio slabs. It vibrates right through the house.
I'm in my 60s and a little one like that wouldn't bother me at all!

Hes two for goodness sake 🙄

Everyone was a 2 year old at some point in their life. Yes small children can be abit noisy sometimes but your son has every right to play in your garden. Your neighbour needs to get over themselves.

After 5 mins of beep beep beep, patience may be wearing thin …

I can't believe people have had a go at @Ibytam & her toddler, typical MN. A baby.. playing in the parents' own garden. Unbelievable.

Do you have a husband/partner? Might be an idea to have him pop over and ask what the banging on the window was about.

honestly next time carry on playing. As long as a child isnt screaming and shouting constantly, dog barking etc there is no issue

Between 9-7 is fair game every single day!! let those kids play!!

You sound very reasonable and considerate.

I’d have a friendly chat with him and ask why he banged on the window. If he says it was the noise of a toddler playing, then ask him what he feels you should do about it. It often helps if you ask people for their solutions. Most solutions would likely be unreasonable: Don’t have the kids outside at all? For less than 15 mins? Don’t let them play at a normal level but constantly hush them? You can point out how unreasonable that’d be.

Some people act aggressively and lash out when they’re stressed. Maybe he’s got big worries, needed peace and snapped. If you ask him why he knocked and assure him you do consider him, he may (and should) apologise for knocking.

If he doesn’t, just carry on being reasonable, friendly and polite. Let the kids play in the garden, but explain to them not to be too loud as it disturbs the neighbours. Some people like having battles and festering resentments with their neighbours. If you carry on being considerate, friendly and polite, they usually give up.

What a miserable fucker he is. Get your toddler back outside later. If he bangs on the window again, I'd bring out pots, pans and a wooden spoon for "music" time 🎶

Well I would have gone out and played some tunes at full volume. But that’s just me! How dare they !

I agree. Especially if you were struggling to sleep and stressed.

But I wouldn’t knock on the window. It’s a little kid for a few mins.

Absolutely gobsmacked at all the people on here who are upset by the normal daytime sounds of little children playing! What, as a country, have we become? Let your wee one play out in his own garden, and beep beep his car as well if he wants to. You sound like a very conscientious parent who won't ever let things get out of hand. Don't let your neighbours get you down. If they want total silence, let them move to the countryside, although there it will be sheep and cows and tractors that bother them and they'll be complaining to the farmers.

I once asked a neighbour if she could give her little boy a different toy. He was banging on something right under my window. I was on the 7th night of a set of 8 and was knackered.
She was really good about it and I only did nights every 6 months or so.
Banging on the window is not on. Kids shouting and playing I could turn over and go back to sleep but rhythmically banging for ages was too much!

My neighbours were vile to us because we had children ,my children are grown ups now and the are still Vile .I tried at first but some people choose misery ,just ignore them and live your life ,it's lovely hearing children and,the garden is the place for noise x

Totally obnoxious of your neighbour. I wonder what his problem is. But regardless its is HIS problem not yours. Also bet he wouldn't do it if it was a man and a child in the garden.

Your DS is perfectly entitled to play in his garden, yes screaming and that high pitched screeching (generally by girls) is horrendous he isn't doing that so either ignore the Victor Meldrew neighbour or just enthusiastically 'cheery wave' at him every time.

Is there a Mrs Meldrew in the house, maybe she will explain that he's just a happy little boy and not a teenage gang!

Also, if you have a DH around ask him to hover out of sight ready to pounce if Victor opens the window to shout at you. You'll probably find a man challenging his aggressive behaviour will nip it in the bud whereas Victor will assume he can bully you.

Ridiculous. I don't have children myself but how miserable do you have to be to begrudge the sound of happy children playing in their garden?

People need to learn about the joys of white noise - a powerful fan, rain sounds on YouTube, white noise machine, etc.

When living amongst other people we can't expect absolute silence and there are ways to cover outside sounds if it gets to you.

It's a no brainer from every point of view...it's your garden, it's the middle of the day and your child was not being overly noisy but even if he was that's still no excuse! 🙄
I can only imagine that perhaps your neighbour was not feeling well or was exceptionally tired for some reason and something just snapped?
You haven't said if it was a male or female banging on the window but either way they should be ignored!
If they persevere I suggest you write them a polite but forceful note and put it through their door, say you're sorry if your child playing normally in their own garden is annoying for them but you feel that it is unreasonable and unacceptable of them to complain about it.
Also say that you can't understand why they would even expect you to restrict your child's valuable outdoor playtime as he needs his Vitamin D!!! 😊

Oh, I know this sort. 50ish years ago, my neighbour, a rather unpleasant old woman, claimed that my daughter was 'terrorising' her. She was 10 months old & could barely walk! People like this are just nutters who ought to be living in the woods, far from the rest of us.

I would purposely buy him some noisy garden toys to play with. Just smile and wave 👋

I live alone and l love it when l hear the kids from next door playing out in their garden... squeals of delight.. fun and laughter.. ignore your neighbours.. they were 2 years old once.

I had miserable neighbours like this briefly (fortunately they moved out!) - every time my DD’s played in the garden, they would slam their doors/windows shut and close their curtains! This was just pleasant play in the middle of the afternoon, no screaming just playing and laughing. Some people think they were born adults! Let you little one enjoy their garden x

You are not in the wrong at all. Even if your DC was making lots of noise - he’s a 2 year old playing and it is the middle of the day! I wouldn’t tell my children to keep the noise down in the middle of the day! He’s being a child playing in his garden.

Regardless of circumstances leading to them having to take night work ( if they even do ) they know when they take it that they will be sleeping during the day when it is not as quiet as the night and they made that choice, regardless of if they like it they know that it is noisier in the day time.