Neighbour banging on window at 2yo playing in the garden!

[Ibytam]

This happened about 15 minutes ago. These neighbours aren’t very pleasant tbh, I have no idea if either of them work night shifts but it’s the only reason I can assume a person would bang on the window because of a child playing in their garden, I figure they must be sleeping.

Anyway, I wanted to know what others thought of this because my immediate reaction has been to get him inside, it made me feel super awkward and I’m the kind of person who’s overly polite. After speaking to my mum, who seemed furious, I now realise maybe that was the wrong thing to do. She says it’s midday and you can’t stop people from being in their garden during the daytime just because they work night shifts, something that is entirely their own choice.

I can understand if he was screaming overly loud or crying etc, or maybe even multiple children screaming. But he was just going around on his trike shouting ‘beep beep’ whilst giggling to himself. Our garden is also in an L shape and he was actually playing on the side that’s furthest away from their house too.

What does everybody else think about this?

They're unreasonable, it's not like he's doing anything wrong. Can you sit outside for a while with him? Then they might think twice about knocking.

Ridiculous. That is the purpose of a garden when you have kids. I would not take him inside.

Your mum is right, completely unreasonable, ignore them.

Tough!! Tell them to get earplugs. How can you be expected to stay indoors in this weather? I'd be nipping it in the bud now because summer is around the corner.

You & your child have every right to use the garden. Next time smile and wave and then ignore.

If it is a massive issue for them they need to approach you politely & discuss like adults to reach a compromise.

Are you a people pleaser op? If so, you need to work on that. Your neighbour has no authority over you.

Is it not a persons choice though? We were in a shit financial position 2/3 years ago after Covid and my partners workplace had to close down. He was desperate for a job but we purposefully didn’t look for anything that involved night shifts as it didn’t suit our lifestyle. Is this not similar? Like, you know you live on an estate with children, very close proximity to a primary school too and playing field, would you really accept a job working nights if disturbed sleep during the day is going to anger you so much you feel the need to bang on the window at little children playing in their own garden?😩

I’m not necessarily a people pleaser. Just riddled with anxiety tbh! 😂 I had a baby 7 months ago too and have been suffering with PND so atm I find things like this difficult to deal with without crying, shouting or making a fool of myself.

I think the clue may be in that you have said it was their garden., not yours?
Or is it yours?
You have other children, maybe the homeowners wished to nip in the bud any chance of eventually all of your kids, and their friends, playing in their garden?
I don't get people saying it's the owners choice to work nights?
How does that work?
Me and my family have worked nights and it was never our choice only if we wanted to keep our jobs that is.
We would not welcome a squealing child under our Windows when we were trying to sleep either.
If you have a garden to your home why wasn't your child in your garden?
If you and your neighbour haven't gotten to know each other and are keeping yourselves to yourselves maybe you'd like to attempt to change that.
If you went round and apologised for your child playing in their garden you could gauge what their privacy issues are.
If they were hostile to the idea of your child in their garden or your children then I'm pretty sure you wouldn't encourage them to be there.
It's tricky when gardens are joined which I'm presuming they are?
Personally I wouldn't mind if a neighbour child wandered into our garden to play, but not everyone wants to share their garden with other people's children because you never know where it'll stop, and they may have had a bad experience with previous neighbours.

My son was playing in our own garden, not the neighbours. We’ve been very pleasant with these neighbours. We had to get the fence fixed not too long ago after the wind blew it down. We spoke to them multiple times over it and they seemed alright enough, a little huffy, wanting us to sort is asap, but nothing crazy. Have also asked once before for them to throw a ball back over into our garden but they couldn’t because their dog had destroyed it. We weren’t bothered in the slightest as it was our son’s fault for kicking it over.

I think my point is I suppose I genuinely do understand the anger and frustration behind trying to sleep whilst children are playing loudly in their garden, but it does NOT mean you can bang on your window at them essentially demanding they stop. Maybe the comment about it being their own choice is wrong, my mum said that tbh not me, but it still doesn’t make it okay.

I only skimmed, but unless you've had past dealings and they really are batshit, I'd go and have a chat with them. If you don't feel able to, ask your DH to nip round. Do it with a smile. Point out that you don't ever let your child out before 10am, etc, etc. If they rant, just walk away. Sometimes being reasonable can defuse things and it could help to stop you feeling paranoid if you're out in the garden too. You never know, they might just have been having a really bad day. Basically find out how bonkers they really are and act accordingly!

Oh bless you....I'm sure neighbours like that are all you need right now

I'd go and ask them if they had an emergency and were trying to get help.

Let them explain themselves

Unless he's a screamer or a shrieker I'd have ignored them. Even then, some noise is acceptable at this time of day.

I work nights it is annoying hearing kids screaming. Think I just let it go and go deaf, wouldn't go next door and tell them to shut up.

They are being unreasonable. I wouldn’t be taking my child inside if they were just playing nicely in the garden. We don’t get much nice weather in the UK so in summer my kids are outside playing in the day when they’re home and they will be making some noise (I don’t allow shrieking). Neighbors night shifts do not mean children have to spend their time inside in a nice day.

My immediate reaction would have been to put Iron Maiden on so they couldn’t hear my child any more.

Edit - I have this neighbour. They pop kids’ footballs, huff at the sounds of fun, and wish for all other neighbours to be silent extras. My kids will be in the firing line this year as they are old enough this year to play in the garden without hawk eye supervision, plus it’s the first year the weather has been nice since we moved here. It’s normal daytime noise and their working pattern, or working from home, or anything really doesn’t give them the right to silence. They need to go live away from people.

Smile and wave
Keep a diary in case it escalates or they make stuff up.

A child playing in their own garden is normal daytime noise, and your neighbour has no right to expect you to curtail it. His night shift is his own problem and nothing to do with you.

He can totally scream, he’s a 2yo and absolutely when he does this I bring him inside because it annoys even me tbh. But he really was just making general playful noises and laughing at himself.

Get him back out there it’s lovely outside.

Completely ignore them. Unless your child is shouting full volume all day in the garden they’ll have to get over it, whether on night shifts or not. If you take on night shifts you need to find ways to deal with blocking out the noises around you, not expect everyone in the neighbourhood to be indoors on a sunny day!

I’ll bet their dog didn’t destroy the ball

I remember a nurse being a neighbour and screaming at a guy in our farden who was doing some work (must have been with machinery but I do not remember. It was not early in the morning). I just reminded her of the very many times she came back from the pub at night, screeching at the top of her voice!!!

Oh my goodness, please take it from me. I moved in to a new build estate, that was filled with new families, I was the first to have babies, and every time the kids were in the garden, I would make sure they were keeping the noise down as I didn't want them to bother the neighbours. Over the years, the houses around me have had their babies and they all play loudly (as they should) in their gardens. I'm filled with so much regret that I didn't let my kids play more freely growing up. Don't pander to it. So long as your child isn't full on screeching, and it's in reasonable hours then let your child play.

What are they going to say to you anyway? Can you stop your child playing? Insane?

Was it an old person? Are you sue they weren't just knocking to wave at your kid?