Neighbour banging on window at 2yo playing in the garden!

[Ibytam]

This happened about 15 minutes ago. These neighbours aren’t very pleasant tbh, I have no idea if either of them work night shifts but it’s the only reason I can assume a person would bang on the window because of a child playing in their garden, I figure they must be sleeping.

Anyway, I wanted to know what others thought of this because my immediate reaction has been to get him inside, it made me feel super awkward and I’m the kind of person who’s overly polite. After speaking to my mum, who seemed furious, I now realise maybe that was the wrong thing to do. She says it’s midday and you can’t stop people from being in their garden during the daytime just because they work night shifts, something that is entirely their own choice.

I can understand if he was screaming overly loud or crying etc, or maybe even multiple children screaming. But he was just going around on his trike shouting ‘beep beep’ whilst giggling to himself. Our garden is also in an L shape and he was actually playing on the side that’s furthest away from their house too.

What does everybody else think about this?

Just been reading this thread as the mum of a 20 month old whose partner also works shifts so at some point each month does a week of nights.

I know that night shifts are difficult sleep wise but you can’t begrudge a toddler for playing in their garden in the middle of the day. There are these things called ear plugs? White noise machines? You have to find a way to make it work. You can’t expect the world to accommodate your working pattern. My partner finds a way when he’s on nights.

What exactly did the neighbour say?

(And as for the while night-shift debacle, I used to work night shifts and while it was a pain if you were woken by something/someone, I just accepted it as being one of those things because it wasn't happening every single day)

Your response to OP is hysterical and rediculous. OP doesn’t know that her neighbor is NHS worker, and she’s not purposely allowing her child to disrupt someone’s sleep.

OP, your DC is well within his right to play in his garden and make noise while he plays. You don’t need to stay inside or leave your home in order for your children to have freedom to play. If your neighbor is trying to sleep or doesn’t like the sound of your child they can put ear plugs in, wear headphones and put white noise on. All things I do when I need to block out sound to sleep.

Don't bring your son in, maybe distract him if you want to, but don't stop him playing in your own garden
I work some weird shifts and can be in bed at any time. Any noise between 8am and 9pm disturbing me is my problem to find a solution to, no-one else's.

Report to who exactly??

I'd tell them to bugger off

I remember in my old house the neighbour wasn’t very friendly. It was a beautiful summer’s day and my children were laughing in the garden because we had one of those kids hoses splashing them. She shouted from her garden for them to shut up! She was ignored of course but what a miserable so and so she was. My children were very well behaved so there wasn’t a history of conflict.

If they work nights they could at least let you know.

Not really the point but how can he see into your garden? Are there no fences or hedges? Or was he in an upstairs room?

Just a thought, were they definitely banging at you and your son? It couldn’t have been a cat in their garden or something they were trying to scare away?

I’m just wondering if you’ve accidentally misread the situation. If I’ve understood correctly their back garden backs onto yours, so you must have been some distance from their window?

He was upstairs yes!

My neighbour bangs the window ,steals my cat for months and asks other neighbours if they have my telephone number ,it's so unpleasant to have neighbours like this ,how sad to live like that ?

My neighbour once had a car that did the beep beep reversing noise and that was really annoying, especially on occasions when it was around 6 am. A car is not a lorry, why on earth do you think you need a reverse alarm unless you use it is a substitute for proper observation?

In the OPs case, if the neighbours are night workers, I can have some sympathy for them. I've sometimes had a bout of fatigue and needed to lie down for a nap at the exact moment next door's kids come out going SHRIEK SHRIEK SHRIEK, but ultimately that sort of noise is standard for daytime, and given you can't expect your neighbourhood to go on a four hour silence, the neighbour's should find a way to deal with it.

It's irrelevant whether or not the neighbour works nights. The whole neighbourhood can't tiptoe around in case they wake them up. What would they do if you needed to mow your lawn or do some DIY? If they need to sleep during the day they should put ear plugs in. A child playing in a back garden during the day is completely normal. We all live next to one another and can't expect complete peace and quiet. Sounds to me that they need to move to a house in the middle of nowhere or some kind of child-free gated accommodation.

YANBU. That's disgusting to do that ti a two year old.

They are psycho. At first I thought he was in THEIR garden and I thought, ok curmudgeons. But it’s YOUR YARD??? I would have screamed at them to buy some ear plugs and never to harass you again. That would make me feel unsafe. People so unhinged.… Banging on window unacceptable rude behavior no matter how loud the kid is … he is TWO and it’s YOUR YARD. Ugh. Sorry you live next to them

Exactly, earplugs! My teenage daughter is noisy at night as she goes to sleep much layer sometimes. I use earplugs, sleepmask and job done.
Earplugs are actually very healthy to use as tgey promote better sleep- you dont get disturbed by little noises.
Its a thing now, so lots of different types are available online.
I would never ever worry about a child having fun and doing sounds, singing or beeping. I always had children round when young and than older, and to me they were always priority.
I understand neighbours my not like noises but children happines is priority before their contentment.
And any neighbour complaining is already a grumpy unhappy person, so whatever you do they will be upset. No point noticing. Just bless them and wish them more happiness in life ;)

Buy him a drum kit

I would rather hear kids laughing and playing than a dog that's locked out barking non stop.

Kids will make noise when outside as long as not screaming I can't see a problem.
I have worked nights. And in the past worn earplugs.
Xxx

Just catching up on posts . Just how old is this guy? I was assuming it was a grumpy old pensioner , did you actually say he works night shifts?
when I was younger I was very much like you , not wanting to offend anyone etc, I also had bad PND and remember being very sensitive to anyone and everything . Im a lot older now with the horrible menopause, it makes me get irritated by a lot of things. One of my neighbours looks after her ‘under five’ grandchildren in the week some days . I love peace and quiet but living in a city terraced house , it’s rare . All things considered , there is no way I would bang on windows , I accept it’s kids being kids. I’d say either ignore him completely as gardens are an extension of our home and unless the noise is very early or late he has absolutely no right to bang on his window, how rude ! Please don’t let him upset you, he’s the one in the wrong not you .
what does your partner think? Please don’t let him stop you from letting your child play in the garden , no matter how many beep beeps he likes to say x

Kids will make noise when outside as long as not screaming I can't see a problem.

I agree, however some kids are screechers, it seems to have been a thing since COVID?

I'd go out there and be shouting BEEP BEEP! 😂

It’s your own garden so it really isn’t your problem. Kids have the right to play outside and beeb as much as they like. That side you should try to talk them to find out what the problem is, unless they are absolute dicks maybe a solution can be found. If they won’t discuss it like grownups your child should just beeb on.

Neighbour should have come to speak to you, not bang on the window.

As an occasional shift worker I sleep far better during the daytime using wax ear mufflers from Boots the Chemist to exclude outdoor noises like lawn mowers or children playing.

The neighbour is a bully and needs dealing with either tact and kindness, or a larger force of strength.

Kindness and understanding is a far better route for longer term contented neighbourly living.

This, and if they ARE a nightshidt worker I can highly recommend Mack silicone earplugs available from Amazon 😴

So??

I didn't say thrash him till he stops doing it, I said distract him.

If it's annoying the neighbour it's annoying the neighbour, if you can fix the problem by distracting a two-year-old, why wouldn't you???