Please help me respond to this message in a neutral way

[DontStealMySunshine]

I need to respond to this message asap. There is history and I'm finding it difficult not to be petty. This won't help me in the long run so, please help me respond, without knowing the back story.

I’m going to catch a train that arrives at [station] just after 9, so can meet [name] at the pick up/drop off point or wherever is easiest.

What suits me best isn’t really what suits me best because that would be something terminal.

He would frame anything I suggest as me being difficult/demanding and how hard it is for poor him.

It isn't worth it.

I will respond politely and neutrally and put Sharon's needs first.

I think it is clear. They're telling you when they'll arrive and giving you the option to suggest somewhere more convenient than the pick up point, if there is somewhere.

"Perfect, name will see you at the pick up point at 9:10"

There must be a big backstory for this message to be cause so much tension.

If you're seeing it as arsey and you know the person involved, it probably is, but to me that's a normal way of confirming something that's previously been loosely discussed.

Easier for me would be don't come at all, ever. Next easiest is come to my house so I don't have to get Sharon to the station. But then I'll have to deal with more bullshit.

So, the station it is. Then he has no comeback.

If I wanted someone to do something for my convenience, I would make a polite request. This is also how my friends and I speak to each other. I find his messages triggering but the responses here have helped me to just confirm the details and enjoy my peace.

Wishing all the best. Hope the situation improves for you. Lots of wise women to support you here x

Thanks @handsdownthebest. I am so grateful for the help from strangers.

I would make out that suited you better than the original arrangement, so, something like, "Oh that's great, thanks, I'll be driving past there at that time anyway." If the alternative was him dropping Sharon off, I'd add, "It saves me waiting in."

I’m going to catch a train that arrives at [station] just after 9, so can meet [name] at the pick up/drop off point or wherever is easiest

@DontStealMySunshine there isn’t anything wrong with this message.

honestly.

you’re just irked/triggered because you don’t like him.

if the agreed pick up point is what you normally do, just 👍🏼 is fine. It’s passive aggressive too.

if you wanted to engage, you can TELL him the location “whatever is easiest” for you.

it’s best however when deep in this kind of shit to be as UNINVESTED as possible

he’s going to be tricky, because he’s lost control of you/your life.

LET HIM try and be tricky. Don’t rise to it and he’ll get bored eventually and your blood pressure will stay low.

Lesser of two evils. You don't have him cluttering up your doorstep with his face and he's on CCTV.

That's worth the irritation of going to the station, isn't it?

And if Sharon is his child, SHE has a right to see him. YOU don’t get to decide her dad can’t see if her if there are no safety concerns.

dont be that kind of person. Your child won’t thank you for it.

Exactly this.

Perfect

I think the "or whatever is easiest" is a question

Whatever back story is here is clouding your judgement. This smacks loudly of mountains, molehills and extreme pettiness on your part when seen without context.

If you do want to avoid waiting around the train station. You could say something like...
As your train is for in at 9am, Sharon will meet you at pick up point at 9.10 to allow for any delays.

Then get there for 9.15 at the earliest and blame the traffic.

So this is an ex, you are dropping DC off.

I would either simply send a 👍 or “doesn’t work for me, bus stop end of my street?”

I didn’t understand any of it!!

I think this is the weirdest message I have ever seen! I have read it, and many of the responses twice and STILL can’t make head nor tail of it!
All of you who got to grips with it have my admiration!!

Message back change of plan your getting an uber

Why would that change the plan?

Change the person who’s messaged the OP plans

Thanks for further messages. I value the differing perspectives here.

I appreciate it's difficult to understand the context, given I deliberately left out the whys and wherefores. I'm sorry for the confusion, it's a very difficult situation and I'm doing my best.

I have sent a reply.

Is this a co parent? Just parot back the details x will see you at y at z time.

That doesn’t change their plans. You clearly don’t understand the situation.

Well done for sending the message OP.
Put him back in his box now, don’t let him take up any of your thoughts.