Please help me respond to this message in a neutral way

[DontStealMySunshine]

I need to respond to this message asap. There is history and I'm finding it difficult not to be petty. This won't help me in the long run so, please help me respond, without knowing the back story.

I’m going to catch a train that arrives at [station] just after 9, so can meet [name] at the pick up/drop off point or wherever is easiest.

You're overthinking it. Massively.

They're asking you where is easiest surely

I am, it's taking up far too much of my headspace.

It is being asked and I would phrase things in a similar way. Imagine there’s a question mark: “or wherever’s easiest?” Your judgment might be being clouded if this is a crap exDH picking up a DC, and he has form for being annoying, but I don’t think he’s at fault here. Just reply with an OK or thumbs up, and name the easiest meeting point.

I think all you need to say is...
Ok, Sharon will see you at pick up point at 9pm.

Obviously there's a background as to why this annoys you, but I don't see it as a bad message.

Without and context or back story, that seems like an entirely reasonable text that you've received. The sender needs you to confirm that [name] will be at the pick up point just after 9, or you suggest that [name] will meet the sender of the text in another location.

So you need to reply:

Thanks. [Name] will see you just after 9 at the pick up point.

OR

Thanks. It would be better for [name] to meet you outside the Tesco Express next to the station, she'll be there just after 9.

Thanks all for helping a stranger. Sorry for seeming cryptic.

Everything with this individual is difficult so I can't see the woods for the trees.

I'm going to go with one of the above suggestions.

'OK, I'll get you at the pick up point'

Yes without the back story the "whatever is easiest" looks like an invitation to pitch in with what works for you, while holding quite strong on what train he'll be taking.

Your response depends on how strongly you feel about his choice of train. If he's due to have Sharon til 6pm and he's wanting to drop her back at 9am that is a very different thing to if it's your usual handover.

You aren't very clear yourself on what exactly the problem is. Maybe a phone call to discuss it would be a good idea.

It's the assumption that I'll get Sharon to the station because that's convenient for him.

Without him actually asking if that's OK with me.

The pick-up point is the stations designated meeting spot, rather than a mutually convenient place.

But my life is easier if I answer breezily. So that's what I'll do.

He’s asking you if another location works more.

Don’t use past ills to continue to be difficult.

It was a perfectly balanced message, he isn’t dictating anything to you and giving you an opportunity to say if it doesn’t suit.

Ah, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. I think it’s an abusive ex (probably) saying ‘this is what works for me so do it..’

Yes @BetterWithPockets

I'm just going to say. OK, I'll drop Sharon off at 9am at the pick up point.

Even if he has made an assumption, just correct it surely? You can always advocate for yourself even when other people don’t invite you to.

’I can’t get there til X pm so could meet you at X pm at the X place. Is that convenient?’

That sounds good OP.
If it’s hard for you to get her to the station at that time, or putting you out a lot, you could say “great, come and pick her up from the house when you can, sounds like you can be with us 9.20” but I have no idea what’s reasonable - where you live compared to the station, if she’s going somewhere by train with him after, where they are headed off to. I’d do what makes it easier for Sharon.

It really is though. It's obviously asking you to say where would be the easiest place to meet X.

It's work in progress @CalypsoCuthbertson

I wish it came naturally to me.

If I was asking someone I would say "would you mind..." or "please could you..." so that's my frame of reference.

I appreciate the message doesn't sound sound arsey to everyone here. This in itself is helpful for me to know.

It's not worth getting het up about. I'm sure he is an arse but choose your battles. Half the time they're getting a kick out of winding you up.

Your response sounds perfect now move on.

Absolutely. I was stuck in a lot. Thanks to you all for helping me out.

Stuck in a loop. Not a lot.

I hear you OP. I know exactly what you’re going through and why you feel like you do.

I'd send the thumbs up emoji.
Engage as little as possible.

Surely you just say, OK, message me on the way so zi knoe youbare definitely on the train and I will leave to get X to the pick up point.

could you add a charge , word it like yes that can be achieved but the cost is £ payable upon pickup etc ?