How have you been affected by the Tran's community?

[BabuFrick]

As there are so many posts on here that discuss Transgenderism, has anyone been directly affected by the Tran's community, good or bad?
I'm quite young and only know one Tran's gender person, as far as I'm aware.

A post about a list trans rights activists made of “terfs” on Twitter, as shared by other prominent TRAs. Some of these people were posting under their own names. https://x.com/babybeginner/status/1770974651507945597

And there was the notorious “Labour Against Transphobia” set up by disgraced former darling of the Labour Party TRA Lily Madigan, of GC members of the Labour Party. An illegal list of sensitive personal information.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3144285-Labour-Against-Transphobia-Facebook-group

My guess is transwoman.

Precisely. That phone call must have been a huge shock for your friend.

Do you mind me asking how she responded? As for me, this goes way beyond the issue of whether or not her child is trans. This is about a school massively overstepping the mark. I say this as a qualified teacher married to a teacher- there is no way we would ever think it was appropriate or safe to completely fail to inform a parent/carer about this.

I believe parents have every right to strongly complain/challenge schools on this, and I say that as somebody who is a hugely supportive mother to my own children’s school. I back their teachers on uniform, behaviour, reading, homework, I do everything they ask of me…but no, they do not have the right to do this. I hope this is tightened up and prevented in light of the Cass review.

No, I completely disagree with a women's toilet and an open toilet. Men deserve their privacy too.

And in my university there are men with skirts in the women's toilets, which are cubicles plus sinks with a mirror, where the Muslim students are going to need to adjust their hijabs.
In fact, I should pop some signs up to this effect...

To those with younger children as a parent of older teens this trend is definitely easing off. It’s no longer cool to be trans and is largely viewed by most teens as annoying attention seeking type behaviour and is met with tolerance, indifference and some eye rolling. Frankly any trend embraced by teachers trying to be down with the kids and large corporations isn’t going to last long with teenagers.

Regarding crime stats. Is it possible that the stats are distorted and that men and trans women are more likely to be convicted of crime than women? That reporting of crimes is lower when cis women are involved?

According to https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/newsroom/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of-domestic-abuse, a third of victims of domestic are men.

I have no doubt that sexual and gendered violence is more frequently perpetrated by men. But it’s not the full story.

I wonder if trans women are reported for infractions (or perceived infractions) more frequently because people are conditioned to think the worst?

Yes, let's derail the thread with some whataboutery.

I know a woman very well who works as an out reach worker for vulnerable women who have just been released from prison, she is part of supporting them from a halfway house back to their real lives. TW who have also been released from prison are routinely housed here. She says that it causes massive distress for the women who are usually very traumatised from male sexual violence. They have a lot of group therapy and these are dominated by the TW voices (think about all the times you have been in a group and a man comes in and suddenly everything is about them). It also means there are less spaces for biological women. she has huge sympathy for the TWs (she 100% thinks they need and deserve their own space designed specifically for them and their needs and I agree), she says if the TW has had surgery they have to ensure that the dormitory floor is closed off several times a day so they can dilate, which is often excruciatingly painful and takes up man power resources. The health problems from the surgeries basically take up hours of their days and it’s heart rending to watch. The intact TWs are a different kettle of fish, she says they actively go out of their way to bully the women and support workers. I think TWs have a hugely different experience from natal women and need their own specialist services to help them live their lives to the full. Being lumped in with women doesn’t do them any favours.

I wonder what are the implications for the Women's Institute who had a trans woman, Petra Wenham, on their Executive Committee?

As I said yesterday, I am neither a trans woman nor disingenuous

To people saying that Transmen and women are not possible to spot IRL.
Roughly 0.5% of The UK are Trans apparently - and according to The BBC its probably lower as there may have been quite a bit of misunderstanding around the census question.
So if on any given day in a large city I see around 500 people and notice 2 transpeople then that would suggest I CAN tell someone is Trans.
I don't normally "trans spot" as I don't really care how people live their lives but I was in Leeds yesterday so I thought I would give it a go. I spotted around 5 I think, 2 in just 1 bar I was in. TW are usually easier to be fair but I am pretty certain I saw a couple of TM in another bar too. I didn't want to stare as that would be rude but one of them came and stood next to me at the bar and despite the facial hair it was a woman.
To be clear, I DON'T CARE. They can live their lives how they want BUT most women know what sex someone is, its a survival technique inherent in us from a very young age.

I agree, transwomen are very easy to spot. I don't go looking for them either, but usually spot at least one when I'm in town.

I couldn't access the services of a rape crisis centre as a transwoman would have been involved in my counselling. I didn't feel safe. I'm a happily married woman, have male friends etc, but this was a step too far for me.

In dds now ex sports club, there are 3 boys who want to be girls. Two are siblings and the third is a friend of theirs.

I sit and stay for the two hour classes and all the long competitions. I hear comments that the other kids are making and it’s usually along the lines of “for fucks sake” when they are making a fuss about bathrooms etc.

I’ve only ever had positive experiences with transgender women and transgender men. They have been kind, loving, caring and community spirited. Many of them are always willing to help others. I know someone who will cook for their sick neighbours, always help out with parcel deliveries, happy to give lifts etc.

Trans people are kinder for all of the hatred they receive. They know what it is like to struggle. They understand how important building positive community relationships are.

I have had negative experiences with both cisgender men and cisgender women (cis is not a slur and you cannot retroactively claim it as one). Particularly cisgender men, with sexual assault, rape and sexual harassment. I have never experienced anything similar from a transgender woman.

How big is your control group?
Given that you seem to think extrapolating the behaviour of the few you know personally to all trans people works?
I know loads of decent men, doesn’t mean there aren’t any absolute horrors out there.

The last trans woman I met was in a cell, naked, throwing punches and shouting all the insults at me that I’ve only heard males attribute to me.

Awaits ‘they’re not real trans then’ response.

Why do people think that because you are trans you are suddenly devoid of all negative behaviours or can’t cause any harm? It’s such a crazy naive way to think.

I know horror men, I know lovely men. I’ve met nasty women, I’ve met lovely women. Statistically though you’re more likely to meet horrible men (no matter how they identify).

That’s an interesting report. The most ‘terrible’ incident of female on male violence cited involves a woman threatening to stab herself, not eg raping and murder her ex partner, her partner’s sister and her partner’s mother with a crossbow.

I could spot them even when we all had to wear masks in public

I don't think there is a trans community in the singular, but how I've been impacted by trans people and TRA ideology:

I've been positively impacted by some trans friends and shared spaces

I was negatively impacted when in a 'women's' gaming group, any time a discussion around female biology came up, it was spoken over by trans women. Hot flushes? Issues with their medication was more important. Period issues? How horrible their monthly mood swings are which are totally the same thing. I ended up being frozen out of the group because I wasn't willing to let one of the trans women 'affectionately' push me - this person had repeatedly pushed me into walls and a few times nearly into traffic.

I am negatively impacted by the loud parts of the community who push that gender nonconformity means something about one's innate self and 'identity'. One of my daughters has been harassed since she started secondary about 'what are your pronouns', 'are you trans?', and basically being told she's not really a girl because she has short hair and doesn't like dancing or make-up. Similiarly, I have a son who was harassed in a similar fashion and used to cry about just wanting to be seen as a cool dude with his long hair and very slim build. I'm still supporting them to feel secure in who they are in a world that tells that that their preferences as teenagers and young adults means they are less their sex.

I am negatively impacted by repeatedly having spaces for lesbian and bisexual women 'expanded', always to the detriment of the women involved.

In working in the justice system, I have seen bail and post-prison housing allocations for homeless women be negatively impacted.

I've been negatively impacted by people continuing to argue that sex should be determined by hormone levels, having a disability that impacts hormones and how my body can access them. The argument essentially says that I should be treated as sexless for my condition.

I have been negatively impacted by people at least pretending to be trans. I'm open to the possibility they were fake:

I was impacted when in an online space discussing abuse during pregnancy and childbirth by medical professionals, we were invaded. I was called a TERF because I had said that the repeated abuse I had experienced, including a sexual assault that left me bloody and nearly miscarrying to - in my attacker's own words 'teach me a lesson' after I'd asked why a procedure was needed, made me feel like "not a person, but a woman who need to shut up and behave." That space had to be closed down and it really fucked with my head for a bit.

I was impacted as an organiser for 'LGBTQ+' social events. We had chat support and I had someone who told me they were a trans woman who was nervous to attend an upcoming event. I gave what support I could, as welcoming as I could, spent I'd say 30-40 minutes with this person. They then asked what I thought of the outfit they were considering - the images they sent were unsettling porn. I soon after left that position.

So what the Tran's community should be doing is advocating for Trans spaces to be provided?

I think we need to stop pretending that there is such a thing as the trans community, just like there is no such thing as an LGBTQ+ community or the women community. It's a wide range of people, some who create a community, it all varies.

Trans people are kinder for all of the hatred they receive.

I understand you mean and the rest as a kindness, do you understand that this type of logic has been used to defend abuse and violence towards many people - particularly children and others some seek to 'toughen up', that the reverse of this has been used to excuse when people who have experienced hatred follow in kind, and that associating any group with kindness inherently is a big safeguarding issue?

Sorry but it’s entirely possible that you have met a trans person and not realised that they are trans. Or that you have seen a cis person and thought that they were trans. How would you know for sure unless you asked?

No