So how do I live in the female gender?

[Definitelynamechanged123]

There are 8834 people in the UK who have a Gender Recognition Certificate.
I am one of them.

To get it, I had to show evidence of transition, surgery etc. Lots of hoops

I also had to swear a Statutory Declaration. I had to go to a Magistrates Court and swear a legal declaration in front of a magistrate. It was all very formal.

I had to swear this:

" have lived as a (insert ‘male’ or ‘female’ as appropriate)
throughout the period of years before the date of this statutory
declaration and I intend to live in that gender until death."

This declaration is legally binding. Apparently if I don't follow this, I can be done for perjury.

So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate.

I was very surprised that so few trans people have Gender Recognition Certificates.

According to the 2021 Census data;

• Males who identify as trans are five times more likely than other males to be imprisoned for sexual offences.
• Those declaring a transgender identity are less likely than the general population to be victims of murder.

Do you have any actual evidence, or “just a quick Google”?

Have any of you seen some transmen? Do you think it's a victory that they will now have to come into womens' toilets?

I thought they generally did.
I don't mind the presence of any biological women in the women's loos.

I am just sick to death of one miniscule part of the population turning our entire lives upside down. Changing language, making us put pronouns on emails, infiltrating women's sports. I work in the NHS and it's caused absolute chaos with actual medical language being changed, one example having to say chest feeding to new mums or risking the sack.
It's fucking ridiculous and I'm beyond overjoyed that they've been put firmly in their place.
Never have so few people fucked up so much for so many.

I don't think all women make it up no. But seriously. It doesn't need restating.
I do not see the issue with trans people. I mean assuming that women who want this bill are mostly traumatised by men, you can't simply lump all aggressive people into one group & call them 'transwomen '.
I just cannot get on board with the idea that a man will dress up as a woman just to use the women's toilet.
This will change again. Pendulum doesn't stay stationary. Law has always been an arse.

I don't understand your post. You took a risk, you were fine. Does that mean women should all take risks because some men are fine? Or do you think women are overreacting?

You're right, it absolutely can't be defined, "living in the female gender" will mean something different to every biological woman and probably even more so to every biological man wanting to be a woman.
I'm sorry, but having radical body surgery, changing your name, wearing different clothes and make up to gain a certificate for your efforts doesn't make anybody more able to to define how a female lives, thinks, or acts........once again biological women are just lumped into a random group, a group that can seemingly be easily imitated.
Being a woman is so very much more than the mere ability to be seen to be living as a society expects you too.

Be yourself. Are you happier and more at peace now? Let that show. You do not owe anything to anyone, you do not have anything to prove. You have a right to be here, to be happy, and to feel joy. That's enough 😊

Men spent years becoming teachers, scout leaders, priests, in order to access vulnerable children, why on earth wouldn’t a predatory man pop on a dress to do the same, particularly in the last few years when stupid, stupid people have paved such an easy path for them?

Glad I left the NHS when I did becuase I would be sacked for this ridiculous mental shizz.
Body Dismorphia is what Trabs suffer with. Body dismorphia is a mental health issue. It was recognised as such for decades until the powers that be decided it was time to add some chaos to everyones lives.

I've as you wish to live but mental health issues need to be dealt with like any health issue. Medicated, counselling. Not to be used in some political games.

Yeah you shouldn't be working in the NHS. Get yourself some empathy. Or if you're comfortable say all this to your management & HR you'd probably be sacked off.

They are often NOT disabled toilets, they are accessible and often include a baby changing station so that either parent can change their child’s nappy. All it needs is for people to recognise them as accessible spaces for either gender (which is what they are), and we’re good to go.

I’m profoundly deaf.

I had surgery to give me a cochlear implant.

It doesn’t make me a hearing person. I take it off at night and my world is silent again. The battery goes and with it my sound input. You get the picture.

Was I born into the wrong body? I’d so love to have had two functioning ears. I’ve had surgery. It doesn’t turn me into a hearing person - it’s just given me a tool that compensates pretty well on one side (I have bilateral loss: the NHS only funds 1 side for adults - it’s different for deafblind individuals and children, or if you have the means to have another implant privately).

I lipread well, I “speak well for a deaf person” in that glib phrase hearing people use all the time, I work in a hearing environment. With my implant I benefit from sound input and it’s made my life so much easier in so many ways. I can mask and fit in well.

Despite that . . .

I’ll never pass for hearing. I’m not a hearing person. I never will be. My voice is instantly identifiable as deaf even though I am generally understood by strangers without difficulty. I’ll never know what it’s like to just understand people magically without constant effort. I’ll never appreciate music the way hearing people do. I still need communication support at meetings as I miss so much. I’ve been socially hampered by missing nuances in which hearing people interact with each other that they’ve grown up with, and are almost blind to, but it makes me look rude for not knowing or understanding instinctively (too numerous to mention) and it prejudices people against me until they get to know me and why I might sometimes be socially inept or my tone or volume isn’t always appropriate for the circumstances.

That’s fine, I’m at peace with that. But I will never properly live in the hearing world, all the surgery and masking and coping strategies won’t make me hearing. I could maybe painstakingly take a Grade I piano exam or learn a foreign language, and those hard-won achievements would mean something, but they don’t make me a hearing person.

Just putting it out there.

Blimey everyone saying “do everything for everyone else,” “put yourself to the bottom of the pile” etc give your heads a wobble?! Maybe don’t get with shit husbands? Maybe don’t put up with shit family members who expect that behaviour? Maybe don’t do any of the things you’re posting ?

I'm glad too.

How on earth do you manage to conflate having female-only spaces with any sort of disrespect? Honestly, it is like you are having a solo fight in a paper bag with yourself in order to display just how magnificently and notably respectful you are.

So you've missed the reports of the man who said he was transitioning, started to, as he was being sentenced, to be placed in a women's prison, while he still had all his genitals in tact?

You've missed the stats around men identifying as women raping other women?

These are things that are happening. If all trans women were just quietly living as women and leaving us alone, no-one would care. This would t be an issue. But unfortunately, much as you can't tell which men are rapists til they rape you, you can't tell which men are transitioning because they genuinely identify as women and which are using it to gain access to women.

So it has to be a blanket ruling, to protect women.

People can transition. They are entitled to rights and safety. Women need their rights and safety protecting. Both things are true and they are separate to one another.

Campaign for trans rights. Just make sure they're trans rights and not removing women's.

Totally agree.

I don’t have a horse in this race as I’m a pretty standard issue garden variety male. That being said you do you as best your can, I’ll try to accommodate pronouns and female identifiers, I mean anything I meaningfully can to make your life less of a struggle. However we have to keep spaces & sports for biological women.

I am very much reminded of the trolly problem in philosophy, where you are on this trolly hurtling at speed towards 5 people, they are facing away from you so you have no way to warn them, on the other is one person so your choice is do you choose the death of one person to save the 5?

I and I think a startling number of people feel the weight of all this keenly. I don’t want trans people to suffer. I’m sure most of you are bloody lovely. With particular insights into the human condition. I posted this cautiously as I don’t even know how to have this conversation constructively without upsetting people.

Whatever else is going on we have a shared humanity I know they may not feel like much but I hope it means something.

Oh the irony...

Getting some empathy and being kind has led to trans people missing out on important sex based healthcare.

A transman went for a hysterectomy, and because of “be kind” no one asked her if she could be pregnant - the team carrying out the op found she was 4 months pregnant, traumatic to all involved.

It’s not kind to validate a mental illness, unless you think anorexic teens should be given diet plans and given help to lose weight?

The NHS capture is the most ridiculous part of this. Knowing your sex is a vital part of medicine. The mental gymnastics the medical community have had to go through to pander to the trans agenda beggars belief. And all to give some people who believe in the invisible force of gender, external validation.

Here's the rub - it is no more our job to validate your identity than it is for you to validate mine. If your entire self-worth depends on manipulating everyone around you into gaslighting themselves, you're the problem. The world does not owe any of us constant external validation, least of all those who are trying their best to heal the sick and vulnerable.

@Gettingbysomehow I'm agreeing with you BTW 😂 just in case it wasn't clear!

My children were born waaaaay before 2010 and the accessible toilets were usually the ones with a baby changing station. Giving birth is not a disability.

OP’s figure of 8k is for people with GRC. According to the census, over 48k people identify as trans.

I was fat. My body didn’t look or feel right. I took the fat jabs. Now I’m thin. I feel better, my body feels right, it looks right. But I no inside I am still the same person just a different size.