Page 24 | So how do I live in the female gender?

Definitelynamechanged123 · 2025-04-18T13:28:31+00:00

There are 8834 people in the UK who have a Gender Recognition Certificate. I am one of them. To get it, I had to show evidence of transition, surgery etc. Lots of hoops I also had to swear a Statutory Declaration. I had to go to a Magistrates Court and swear a legal declaration in front of a magistrate. It was all very formal. I had to swear this: " have lived as a (insert ‘male’ or ‘female’ as appropriate) throughout the period of years before the date of this statutory declaration and I intend to live in that gender until death." This declaration is legally binding. Apparently if I don't follow this, I can be done for perjury. So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate. I was very surprised that so few trans people have Gender Recognition Certificates.

Riaanna · 18/04/2025 18:56

adviceneeded1990 · 18/04/2025 18:03

I’m not, but anyone who doesn’t agree with @Riaanna must be, because all women have to think the same.

This thread isn’t about fear of rape etc so I won’t continue on that road, it’s pointless and moving away from the point. The point I was trying to make (probably clumsily as I’m multitasking) was that there are no real commonalities between ALL women in regard to how we think, behave and what we are scared of, because we all think differently.

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Not talking about you. I’m talking about where “her post” has been referenced. It’s his post. The OP is a man.

ItWasnaMeGuv · 18/04/2025 18:56

At puberty they will develop as males though, with all the male advantages of an enhanced skeleton, muscles, strength etc., compared to a woman. If there is a Y, its always a guy

Lizahartiga · 18/04/2025 18:57

It is biologically impossible to transition from on sex to another and 99% of today's trans women are not genuine at all unlike this person it's called autogynephilla and many of us have been forced to witness it. Between 5-13% of trans women have bottom surgery until recently there were safeguards in place to ensure people received the hormones up until yesterday all you had to do was say I'm a woman BTW hormones DO NOT bring testosterone in to the same range as a biological woman ever and literally increase the trans women chances of osteoarthritis and breast cancer and blood clots heart issues reduced cognative functions to name a few

NessieDoesExistYes · 18/04/2025 18:58

DrPrunesqualer · 18/04/2025 18:56

Well I’m a relatively old architect and I’ve been designing public buildings all of my professional life.
Ever since they were a requirement they have been mixed sex accessible toilets
Ever since they were introduced architects have always calculated the required number including disabled toilets as mixed and for all
Ever since they were introduced as a requirement in Building Regs they have never been exclusively for disabled people, just big enough to accommodate them. Nothing more. Ever
It is what it is.

PS. There was never a change in who could use them just a change in the name as it was considered unacceptable to call a toilet disabled. Disabled people didn’t like the word and found Accessible ‘friendlier’

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why did these architects never design enough women's loos?
somewhere, they got their calculations wrong.
Almost everywhere- shops, theatres, galleries, museums, you name it - there aren't enough loos.

Riaanna · 18/04/2025 18:58

Definitelynamechanged123 · 18/04/2025 18:06

For those asking how I live my life - I try not to stand out. I try to blend in and to not be seen as male. I also don't want to stand out as those transwomen - who I know - who really stand out, who are so so obviously trans. Who are that stereotype that people know about transwomen.

I don't want to be seen as male. Even though - as has been pointed out - that's the chromosomes and biology I was born with and had growing up.

I want to blend in, to try to be invisible - so far I have had just 1 incident of abuse in my life as being trans. I get the occasional stare, a second glance, but not much.

I won't put myself out there as a trans advocate because of the abuse I have got before online. I worry about where I live and people there. I have lived my life here quite happily.

All I am trying to do is to blend in. And to not be seen as society as male. I can't help being born male but every cell in my body has rejected that - and being seen as male by others is something I don't want to happen.

No. Every cell in your body has not rejected it. Every cell in your body came together to create a man. For some reason one tiny part of you decided you were going to… I don’t even know what. But this idea you can be something you aren’t is ludicrous.

OldCottageGreenhouse · 18/04/2025 18:58

Hoppinggreen · 18/04/2025 14:35

Do what you want as long as you understand that you are still a man (assuming you are a TW) and have no right to anything that is designated solely for women.
"living as a female" is completely meaningless

This

NessieDoesExistYes · 18/04/2025 18:59

Lizahartiga · 18/04/2025 18:57

It is biologically impossible to transition from on sex to another and 99% of today's trans women are not genuine at all unlike this person it's called autogynephilla and many of us have been forced to witness it. Between 5-13% of trans women have bottom surgery until recently there were safeguards in place to ensure people received the hormones up until yesterday all you had to do was say I'm a woman BTW hormones DO NOT bring testosterone in to the same range as a biological woman ever and literally increase the trans women chances of osteoarthritis and breast cancer and blood clots heart issues reduced cognative functions to name a few

can you edit and use full stops please. It's not easy to read.

CantStopMoving · 18/04/2025 19:00

Flowergirlie91 · 18/04/2025 18:54

Gosh people here seem to be so ignorant sometimes… I don’t think she is asking: how do I behave to be considered a woman? I think she asks: now that we have had this ruling, what previously declared me as a woman (the GRC), currently won’t anymore. Meaning that now instead of you being put in a female ward in a hospital, you might be put on a mens ward, you might have to go into men’s toilets / dressing rooms etc. Which of course is humiliating for you (and possibly scary), especially if you have had surgery and look like a woman. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be woman born as a man, go through years of stress, therapy, surgery and then a formal procedure, look like a woman, finally feel like you can be your true self, and then the government legally sends you back into mens dressing rooms…

I also did some maths yesterday.. 0.56% of the population is trans, so 0.26% of the population used to be a man and now identifies as a woman. Let’s assume all these anti trans people are right, and there are some bad trans people out there (let’s say 10% of the trans population.. which is a high number, it’s more likely 1% or less).

The UK female population is 34 million people. Of that population there are 8,840 trans people with bad intentions towards women (assuming 10%, but its more likely 884 people). In comparison, 1 in 4 women get sexually assaulted / raped in the UK in their lifetime, from which the vast majority by men (that’s 8.5 million sexual assaults - that’s 1000 x as many as there are trans women).

Now let’s assume you go into a public toilet. I’d estimate that a person goes into a public toilet twice a week (104 times a year). So trans women with bad intensions account for 919K public toilet visits a year. The female population toilet visits is three billion, five hundred thirty-six million per year.

For you to get assaulted by a trans woman into a public toilet, you need to wait in this public toilet until 3,848 women have passed through with you in that room. And if my 1% of population is accurate, 38,480 women need to have passed through to catch 1 trans woman with bad intentions. And then you need to be lucky enough that this person targets you. Because if you assume they only assault people once a year, you’d have to sit in that busy airport toilet for your whole life and never leave for something to happen to you.

in summary: this is a NON ISSUE that people need to STFU about.

We now have caused misery for tens of thousands of people who already live a difficult life for a non-existing threat. Well done.

the point being it isn’t just changing rooms and loos. It is sport, it is sex quotas, it is same sex care, female discrimination etc. you have to have 1 rule overarching everything- it can’t be one rule for one area and one for another. It creates confusion. So no it is not a NON ISSUE!

OldCottageGreenhouse · 18/04/2025 19:00

A female is someone born with female genitalia. Without that it’s cosplaying. I’m so sorry you were made to do that in front of a magistrate

Riaanna · 18/04/2025 19:00

Definitelynamechanged123 · 18/04/2025 18:21

There are clearly a lot of things that people have described about being female.

But if you asked women, I think that many women would agree, some would disagree, some would say that does not apply to them at all and some men would say that some of those things applied to them.

And anything I said would probably get jumped on

All I do know is that I don't want to be seen by society as male. So I do everything I can not to be seen by society as a male.

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Why? Because you realise that being female is not “not wanting to be male”?

metoo62 · 18/04/2025 19:01

You can live as a woman, even if you don't have access to any spaces that are only available to biological woman . Just use individual spaces like other minority groups use. You don't need to tell anyone you are not one. It isn't anyone business at the end of the day. Look after yourself first and foremost. Also you all need to fight legally for protection rights so trans have their human rights protected as a minority. Your mind feel like you are a woman, you will feel violated if a police male strip search you and touch you everywhere. You have the right not to feel violated the same that any other person with human rights. You have the right to be protected if in prison, for example, the right to not been in the areas in prison where you would be most likely be raped . The court said that trans should have protection like any other group though but here people think that the court has taken their human rights away and here woman are being transphobic and ignorant about what the court means . Your certificate is still valid. Your certificate says living as a woman, it doesn't say being a woman. Two different concepts. I know the court has said that being a woman is the same as being a biological woman. It doesn't mean that living as a woman is illegal or not something you can do. Being a woman is a different concept that living as a woman. Biological women usually live as woman but trans or anyone that wants to can live as a woman too . You have the right to live your life as you like. It isn't illegal to live culturally as a different sex that the one you were born at birth . Being a woman as being a biological woman is the concept that the court has clarified. They have not clarified or said anything about the concept of living as a woman. That is a different concept. Living as the opposite sex completely is Actually a social and cultural construct. For example in some cultures some woman live as men completely, it is cultural and social construct that has been practiced for centuries if not longer in many cultures . I mean you can't deny that historical fact. People are being transphobic. The only thing you have lose is the right to spaces designated for biological woman or sports that are for biological woman etc. Anything other right taken away from you, surely should be fought. And you should have the right to your own safe spaces or access to single units if you can't use the biological communal woman ones or if they are not unisex ones. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a human with exactly the same rights that all humans beings and you deserve the same respect that everyone else. Don't ever forget that. Don't allow yourself to be undermined by anyone ever.

NessieDoesExistYes · 18/04/2025 19:01

Riaanna · 18/04/2025 18:56

Not talking about you. I’m talking about where “her post” has been referenced. It’s his post. The OP is a man.

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It's perfectly obvious OP is a man and someone must have got crossed wires and misread my posts as I knew he was a man.

Lizahartiga · 18/04/2025 19:02

Sorry my dyslexia effects my grammar so no I will not punctuated because I can't.

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2025 19:04

Catisgluedtome · 18/04/2025 15:10

I've reported this disgusting, transphobic thread. Shame on all you posters.

The OP seems to be coping.

No-one's been rude

OldCottageGreenhouse · 18/04/2025 19:04

Lizahartiga · 18/04/2025 19:02

Sorry my dyslexia effects my grammar so no I will not punctuated because I can't.

Have you considered using the microphone on your keypad? Or asking Siri (or the equivalent to Siri on your phone) to type for you? It adds in the correct punctuation for you.

DrPrunesqualer · 18/04/2025 19:04

NessieDoesExistYes · 18/04/2025 18:58

why did these architects never design enough women's loos?
somewhere, they got their calculations wrong.
Almost everywhere- shops, theatres, galleries, museums, you name it - there aren't enough loos.

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You know

I am so with you on this one

Ill tell you why

Men have control of all the bloody money and there are too many men dictating what we can have.

As you can see this pisses me off. I’ve been campaigning for more woman’s toilets all of my working career!
Ive just about got some recognition from some big developers to offset the WCs within a cubicle to allow for the space needed for a sanitary bin. I’ve even dragged men into ladies toilets under construction and told them to sit on a WC without getting their but cheaks half on a sanitary bin just to get them to see sense.
I had great fun demonstrating how a heavily pregnant women ( me) uses a toilet without having to stand on the toilet seat in order to close the door!
I feel like toilet rights have been my life’s ambition…..and yet the headway has been slow and with the Trans issue……backwards!

Lizahartiga · 18/04/2025 19:05

Stating a biological fact is not transphobic so you can stop with that right now. I do not have an irrational fear of trans people I am a rape and dv survivor at the hands of a biological male and culture is not biology so just stop with the slurs

DrPrunesqualer · 18/04/2025 19:06

Wrong thread

Icanttakethisanymore · 18/04/2025 19:06

I don’t know. I’m female and I live my life. I would encourage you to do the same. My sex doesn’t define me, it’s just a biological characteristic like being white and being 5ft7. I can be whoever I want to be in the world, regardless of my sex.

ill add, I mean this to be supportive not offensive, I hope it comes across that way.

Riaanna · 18/04/2025 19:06

Flowergirlie91 · 18/04/2025 18:54

Gosh people here seem to be so ignorant sometimes… I don’t think she is asking: how do I behave to be considered a woman? I think she asks: now that we have had this ruling, what previously declared me as a woman (the GRC), currently won’t anymore. Meaning that now instead of you being put in a female ward in a hospital, you might be put on a mens ward, you might have to go into men’s toilets / dressing rooms etc. Which of course is humiliating for you (and possibly scary), especially if you have had surgery and look like a woman. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be woman born as a man, go through years of stress, therapy, surgery and then a formal procedure, look like a woman, finally feel like you can be your true self, and then the government legally sends you back into mens dressing rooms…

I also did some maths yesterday.. 0.56% of the population is trans, so 0.26% of the population used to be a man and now identifies as a woman. Let’s assume all these anti trans people are right, and there are some bad trans people out there (let’s say 10% of the trans population.. which is a high number, it’s more likely 1% or less).

The UK female population is 34 million people. Of that population there are 8,840 trans people with bad intentions towards women (assuming 10%, but its more likely 884 people). In comparison, 1 in 4 women get sexually assaulted / raped in the UK in their lifetime, from which the vast majority by men (that’s 8.5 million sexual assaults - that’s 1000 x as many as there are trans women).

Now let’s assume you go into a public toilet. I’d estimate that a person goes into a public toilet twice a week (104 times a year). So trans women with bad intensions account for 919K public toilet visits a year. The female population toilet visits is three billion, five hundred thirty-six million per year.

For you to get assaulted by a trans woman into a public toilet, you need to wait in this public toilet until 3,848 women have passed through with you in that room. And if my 1% of population is accurate, 38,480 women need to have passed through to catch 1 trans woman with bad intentions. And then you need to be lucky enough that this person targets you. Because if you assume they only assault people once a year, you’d have to sit in that busy airport toilet for your whole life and never leave for something to happen to you.

in summary: this is a NON ISSUE that people need to STFU about.

We now have caused misery for tens of thousands of people who already live a difficult life for a non-existing threat. Well done.

Nearly every single risk can be broken down to a none issue. But here’s the thing. You can eliminate it all together. By saying women only.

Also please don’t assume the only issue with men being in women’s toilets is that they might assault a woman. It’s far more nuanced than that.

Original poster

Definitelynamechanged123 · 18/04/2025 19:07

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2025 19:04

The OP seems to be coping.

No-one's been rude

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I've been through so much shit in my life that online words - and people using "He" online have fuck all effect on me.

OP posts:

NessieDoesExistYes · 18/04/2025 19:07

DrPrunesqualer · 18/04/2025 19:04

You know

I am so with you on this one

Ill tell you why

Men have control of all the bloody money and there are too many men dictating what we can have.

As you can see this pisses me off. I’ve been campaigning for more woman’s toilets all of my working career!
Ive just about got some recognition from some big developers to offset the WCs within a cubicle to allow for the space needed for a sanitary bin. I’ve even dragged men into ladies toilets under construction and told them to sit on a WC without getting their but cheaks half on a sanitary bin just to get them to see sense.
I had great fun demonstrating how a heavily pregnant women ( me) uses a toilet without having to stand on the toilet seat in order to close the door!
I feel like toilet rights have been my life’s ambition…..and yet the headway has been slow and with the Trans issue……backwards!

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My opinion is that women's loos are bottom of the food chain.

It's as if the space in the building has to be used for something else (usually making money, directly or indirectly).

Even some of the biggest dept stores in London don't have enough loos for the 100s of women in the store at any one time.
It's a disgrace.

Flowergirlie91 · 18/04/2025 19:08

Ok well let me put it this way: if I was fighting for my life in hospital and a trans woman was fighting for her life next to me, I wouldn’t send her out of the room. If I was on the board of a company and we wanted to hire a female and the person hired was a trans woman and excellent at her job, I would be happy that the company would be successful. I really don’t fucking get why we make such a big issue of 0.26% of the population. Live and let live. People who are fussing over this need to get a fucking hobby

WilfredsPies · 18/04/2025 19:08

Beautifulbluesunset · 18/04/2025 18:22

@Definitelynamechanged123 So much ignorance & narrow minded people in the world. Too much black & white thinking.
To answer your question, I think all you can do is just carry on living day to day being yourself, being kind to others, treating them how you’d like to be treated. Those you come in contact with I’m sure will be a little more understanding on what it’s like to be trans. But like everything in life it takes many, many years to change the majority of people’s views.
I like to think I’ve always been open minded, but it’s only since I’ve got a very close friend who is trans that I’ve become more educated & more informed. I thought I knew beforehand, I was very very wrong, I realise now I was clueless. All the trans people I have met have been sensitive, kind & respectful.
There are more individual unisex toilets around than there used to be, not enough though, but hopefully though that will change.
However, you also need to feel safe, and I certainly don’t think a trans woman would be safe going into the men’s toilets late at night.
I suppose we just need to make sure there’s a choice provided for everyone.
Blaming the op for the actions of all the nasty & violent men in the world is just stupid though.
Just to add, I have been brutally attacked after leaving a public toilet by a man. Even so, the majority of men who I’ve met in my lifetime are decent human beings, as always the minority ruin it for everybody.

@Beautifulbluesunset

I like to think I’ve always been open minded, but it’s only since I’ve got a very close friend who is trans that I’ve become more educated & more informed. I thought I knew beforehand, I was very very wrong, I realise now I was clueless What did you learn that made you think that women have no entitlement to single sex spaces?

However, you also need to feel safe, and I certainly don’t think a trans woman would be safe going into the men’s toilets late at night. So a trans woman can’t use the men’s toilets late at night because of men? But it’s ok to send men into the women’s toilets late at night and expect them to just shut up and accept it? Do you know how many attacks have been recorded on trans women using the men’s toilets in the UK? Zero. Not a single one. How many attacks do you think have been recorded on women and girls being attacked or filmed in women’s toilets by a combination of men and trans identifying males? Thousands.

I suppose we just need to make sure there’s a choice provided for everyone And therein lies the problem because the people who are demanding ‘Trans Rights’ are actually demanding the right to be accepted as female in every single respect, without question (except the expectation that they pipe down and do what men tell them to do, obviously). They have all the other rights. This is the only right they don’t have. And those people don’t want to use a third space. They want to use the women’s space. That is incompatible with women’s rights.

Blaming the op for the actions of all the nasty & violent men in the world is just stupid though Who’s blaming the OP for anything? The point is that women can’t tell the difference between completely innocent (albeit entitled) trans women who have been led to believe that they are only safe in the women’s loos and that nobody will take any notice of women if they complain, and predators who have followed them in after seeing how nobody is daring to question their presence in case they lose their jobs.

Hellohelga · 18/04/2025 19:09

You can still live as a woman, that hasn’t changed. But you can’t actually legally be a woman now. So there are some new restrictions on you. I’d genuinely be interested to know what you think will affect you in reality OP. You will probably have to use a third space to change at work/pool/gym and I can see this being an issue for a lots of people. But I think you’ll be fine using women’s toilets. I seriously doubt anyone will challenge you. I wouldn’t.

Beyond this
Do you want to apply for a jobs/grant/prize designated for women only?
Might you commit a crime that lands you in prison?
Do you play competitive sport and compete against women?
If not then your life won’t change much will it?