So how do I live in the female gender?

[Definitelynamechanged123]

There are 8834 people in the UK who have a Gender Recognition Certificate.
I am one of them.

To get it, I had to show evidence of transition, surgery etc. Lots of hoops

I also had to swear a Statutory Declaration. I had to go to a Magistrates Court and swear a legal declaration in front of a magistrate. It was all very formal.

I had to swear this:

" have lived as a (insert ‘male’ or ‘female’ as appropriate)
throughout the period of years before the date of this statutory
declaration and I intend to live in that gender until death."

This declaration is legally binding. Apparently if I don't follow this, I can be done for perjury.

So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate.

I was very surprised that so few trans people have Gender Recognition Certificates.

‘But I wanted to pop on and perform a bit of virtue signalling and use a derogatory term towards women, who unlike me, acknowledge and understand, biological facts’

Fixed it for you.

How do you explain what being a woman is, to someone who isn't female!?

Same problem.

You just ARE.

Well, you presumably just carry on as normal. Wear a thick layer of makeup, wear a nice frock and high heels and hair extensions, whilst simultaneously getting out of the lower pay, heavy periods, childbirth and menopause. No one gives a hoot how you dress or what you call yourself, how you decorate your house, what you eat, read, listen to, watch on the telly or what hobbies you have. That's entirely up to you. However, you will have to use the disabled loo, a unisex loo or the men's. We're not actually asking for much as women. We pretty much just want to use our own bog and changing rooms and feel safer. We're prepared to let much of the shit slide (such as the burden of childcare, the mental load, lower pay, constant mansplaining, the cost of period products etc), but wanting to feel safe is a basic human right. I'm sure that you, of all people, should understand that. So campaign for your own loos and changing rooms. Us women would strongly support you with that!

You don’t have to keep quiet, open conversation is important and it must have been hard to make yourself vulnerable on here.

In answer to your original question, for me nurturing, spiritual and emotional strength, physical vulnerability, whatever it is that comes with being the underdog historically and finally being recognised as something other than the wife / mother / eye candy. But still experiencing being last in the list of priorities, behind kids, husbands, male coworkers, violent men, the ongoing sexism of institutions and now the minority of trans women who are using that label to undermine our identity and safety.

My reproductive organs don’t work so it’s not about being able to have kids but having a body which in theory could, is important to my identity.

The label woman is vital to my identity, I don’t want to be a cis woman or any of those other labels. I resent that being taken away from me, but I also get that trans women don’t want the label trans for ever. I feel really sad about how the genuine and innocent trans community are affected by the news yesterday, I wish we could have more balanced conversations about it

And do not commit the worst female sin of all......gaining weight.

Telling a man he is a man is ‘speaking to people like shit’?! Sure Jan.

Why would I wear a nice frock, high heels and extensions?

Unless that's your stereotype of a transwoman?

The OP obviously disagrees with you , it's their thread. They asked a question and it's getting answers.

That’s fine. But you are a man with dysphoria. Respect that and respect women and keep out of single sex spaces. Be however you want to be in the whole of the rest of the world.

Ok, it didn't feel right. I get that bit. But why must that automatically mean becoming a woman was right? Why not losing weight, putting weight on, shaving your head, altering your body to look like a shoe, sawing yourself in half? Why was trying to become a woman the only way to make you feel 'right?'

That is an issue at the moment

You do not have to - and cannot - live as a woman.

You can only live as yourself, which happens to be as trans.

You need to find a way to do so for yourself - perhaps with the support of other trans people whose experiences are similar to your own - in a manner that does not take any legal rights or privileges that belong to other groups of people.

Which is pretty much what all of us have to do.

Accept that you will turn invisible at 50.
Be described as "lovely" rather than professional, insightful and so on.
Be twice as competent as any man but then realise that progression is agreed on the golf course, in the mend bogs or the pub at midnight

All of that is ok, but what made you get the certificate? What on earth did you think that a certificate would do for you?

Look, basically you have been duped. You were always duped about that certificate, whatever the changes in law might bring.

If I was you I would get really, really angry. And it really isn't women you should get angry with.

There is no difference between men and women except their sex.

It doesn't matter what you wear, your occupation, your interests, your education, what colour you like, what toys you played with, what music you prefer. None of that is relevant to your sex.

There is one thing that connects all women, throughout the whole world, through all time and that is their sex. That is the only thing they have in common.

So if you are not of the female sex, you are not and cannot be female. It's that simple.

Given that this thread is as a result of a ruling from the Supreme Court of the UK, then yes in this instance. Or are we also responsible for any of your perceived injustices in the US?

Right? I broadly agree with the first response. Don't understand why anyone would choose it tbh. It ain't a bed of roses.

I think the trouble is that when the people responsible for these GRCs were creating them, it didn’t actually cross their minds to ask women if we minded giving up our rights to single sex spaces so that trans women could pretend to be a sex that they weren’t. And some of us do mind. Some of us mind very much and we’re not willing to hand those rights over. And now it’s becoming apparent that the whole ‘live as a man/woman’ thing is nonsense. If you and Dave down the road both wear a pair of unisex Timberlands, jeans and a plain white t shirt, are you supposed to add a nice brooch to your clothes to signify that they are different from Dave’s clothes?

I’m so sorry that you felt that way about your body. It must have been awful for you and I can’t begin to imagine how difficult it must have been. I don’t think I agree with this type of surgery but I’m glad that you’re at peace with yourself now and I wish you a lifetime of peace and happiness. I also hope that you’re reading and digesting what posters on here are saying. There is no hate towards trans people. How you feel in your mind and how you choose to present yourself to the world has zero impact on us. The only thing that matters is that you are happy and comfortable. But you can’t change sex and we don’t want to hand over our rights. And a piece of paper doesn’t change that.

To live as a woman, I guess that just means being free to wear feminine clothes, makeup, jewellery, perfume etc. if you want - I mean, that's what I do. I like stereotypically feminine things. YMMV.

This is a really powerful post

I found this just now on Facebook. It's useful to offer to all those highly emotional people (male and female, some trans, most not( who are struggling with it:

👏👏👏

Was it worth it OP? Genuine question because I don’t understand why anyone would want to put themself through unnecessary surgeries ( I’ve only ever had one minor necessary operation, never again. 2 week recovery my arse) and open themselves to ridicule and abuse.
Then you have to go to a Court after jumping through hoops and declare something that seems to give you nothing. Do you have to show this certificate? Can anyone demand to see it?

Your certificate means no-one can threaten your employment, housing or access to necessary male spaces and services BECAUSE you call yourself a woman. A man with a GRC has all the rights of every other man, AND protection from discrimination on the basis of his "gender identity".

Your certificate does not confer the rights accorded to women. Those stay with women, including women with a GRC.

Female isn't a gender, it's a sex, so it is set at conception and cannot be changed.

Sex is not the same as gender. Sex is universal, verifiable, binary, and lifelong. Gender is self-selected, undefined and unstable (fluid) so cannot be equated with sex.

Sadly, professionals and medics have been lying to patients and telling them there is an option to "live as the opposite sex". There isn't.

Women who spend their lives in trousers, flat shoes and manual jobs remain women.

Men who defy male social expectations remain male.