So how do I live in the female gender?

[Definitelynamechanged123]

There are 8834 people in the UK who have a Gender Recognition Certificate.
I am one of them.

To get it, I had to show evidence of transition, surgery etc. Lots of hoops

I also had to swear a Statutory Declaration. I had to go to a Magistrates Court and swear a legal declaration in front of a magistrate. It was all very formal.

I had to swear this:

" have lived as a (insert ‘male’ or ‘female’ as appropriate)
throughout the period of years before the date of this statutory
declaration and I intend to live in that gender until death."

This declaration is legally binding. Apparently if I don't follow this, I can be done for perjury.

So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate.

I was very surprised that so few trans people have Gender Recognition Certificates.

There's no such thing, as all women live very different lives and present in many ways. Some women exclusively wear trousers and more 'male' orientated clothes, some suffer with heavy and painful periods or menopause issues. Some may be more feminine and love make up and clothes, others couldn't care less.
Some may be nurturing, some may not and would rather just concentrate on their jobs or careers. Some like kids, some prefer pets.

What I would say is common to all women is a fear of being raped. Do you have that fear as a transwoman?

Well said.

@WilfredsPies And now it’s becoming apparent that the whole ‘live as a man/woman’ thing is nonsense. If you and Dave down the road both wear a pair of unisex Timberlands, jeans and a plain white t shirt, are you supposed to add a nice brooch to your clothes to signify that they are different from Dave’s clothes?

It's not nonsense. While of course women can wear non-feminine clothing, the fact is that men and women in general dress and present very differently. Most women do wear things/present themselves in ways that are stereotypically feminine, even if they're not OTT about it. Have you seen the size of the fashion and beauty industries? Of course women can look like Dave, but most don't.

It was absolutely worth it.

It wasn't unneccesary. It was very necessary.

I have no regrets whatsoever and I don't miss what I had down there before.

It is Easter so I will give a topical answer.
It's been said that mental illness is believing your own delusions whereas religion is believing in other peoples.
A few hundred years ago I'd have been compelled to go along with other people's delusions, go to church today etc. Now we have freedom of belief, and freedom of speech. I don't have to believe in other people's gods or their other mad beliefs. Isn't progress marvellous?
You are entitled to believe you are a woman, to wear what you want, dress as you want, love who you want, call yourself what you want, etc. I wish you well and hope you have a happy life. I will try to treat you with respect and dignity, as I would any other human being. As good manners, I'll even try to remember your preferred pronouns. But I don't have to believe that a gender recognition certificate makes someone a woman. That's your belief, your religion, not mine. To engage in that I'd have to suspend critical thinking, deny biological reality and start believing other peoples' delusions, which is religion, not objective reality.

Yes

I do have that fear. I have been sexually assaulted when walking back home one night.

I have scoliosis which is becoming more noticeable as I go through the menopause, causes me pain and I also sorts of allergies. I have never liked my body. My body feels completely wrong to me. No doctor will give me a body that feels righter to me, because it isn't physically and medically necessary.

I wish I could identify out of it, but this is the hand I was dealt.

You asked how you can live as a woman? How about just living as a decent human being.

OP, MN is a safe haven for people who have a real problem with trans women, just so you know. Any mean comments that you receive are not personal. And some people are REALLY pitchfork-ish about it, so brace yourself.

Best of luck in your new life. I am glad you are happier now.

Clarins has some lovely skincare, btw.

Oh - and if you're growing your hair out, and you want to do stuff like highlights or balayage, be ready for some financial pain at the hairdressers!

That’s only my personal view @Definitelynamechanged123

Youve had gender surgery.
As far as I’m concerned, you should carry on living like any other woman.

If you had been ‘identifying’ as a woman, I would have had a different attitude.

By a man?

Honestly? I think living as a woman means having no identity of your own at all.

You exist to provide for others. Household tasks, physical and emotional care of children, elders and spouses, validation, absorbing anger, managing other people's emotions, sometimes being something nice for someone else to look at.

If you aren't doing something for someone else, you are completely invisible. Nobody is interested in you as an individual, your wants and feelings are irrelevant.

To me the biggest indicator that a trans woman is a biological male is that they talk about their feelings and expect anyone to give a shit.

Yes

Excellent. Is this another version of Caitlin Jenner saying the most difficult thing about being a woman is working out what to wear?

By a man.

Of course. Because men commit sexual assaults and this is why we're wary of men.

Please report any "mean comments" to MNHQ

And OP, stupidity like oh you are upset buy some lovely face cream is indeed the type of thing you would be told if you were a woman

Dont think you've answered - what did you think you were promising to do when you made your statement to the court? You've altered your body in a way that you think makes you look like a woman. You apparently believe that that entitled you to use women's facilities - it didn't.

The courts have not prosecuted people who claim to be female for perjury when they e.g. rape someone or prosecuted a trans man who gave birth, actions that show they had no intention of living as the opposite sex.

Ignore this- I didn't intend to quote this poster and my laptop chose that moment to go utterly haywire, with the result I couldn't edit or post the screenshot I'd intended to! (this posted from my phone).

It seems to me that the term ‘gender’ has been rendered meaningless as far as the law goes, but the legal recognition of sex as preeminent won’t change how you feel. It’s a question the government and lawmakers should be answering for you, but for what it’s worth I think that, as you can’t live in your sworn gender and abide by the Supreme Court ruling, you need to pick one. And the Supreme Court ruling has made it pretty clear that sex takes precedence over gender identity, no matter how honestly felt or even legally sanctioned. I expect there will be moves to scrap the GRA and deem GRCs invalid. I do feel for you.

I’m very sorry that happened to you.

Does that experience make you appreciate why women do not want men in their spaces? A devastatingly large percentage of women have been assaulted by men. Physically, we women are no match for you men so the threat is very real and terrifying.

Of course I understand that.

I used up precious brain cells trying to understand your point, too! 🤣

Just be you. Dress how you want to dress, act how you want to act, eventually the stereotype that only biologically women wear dresses act certain ways etc. will dilute to any gender can wear dresses make up etc. The term woman and man will just refer to a persons biological dna and sexually reproduction.

To be honest, I think those stereotypes come from the type of transwomen who have been invited on TV to represent transwomen. Or some so called influencers that played on those stereotypes (Like Dylan M and the advert for a well known sport brand).

If that’s the only way transwomen are represented, then Thars gow people are going to see them 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Not a lot you can do yourself @Definitelynamechanged123
But yes it won’t make your life easy or easier.

Definitelynamechanged123

From what you have written, you started to transition 25ish years ago.
So you would have had the counselling, discussions, lived as a woman for 3yrs before the surgeries etc.

What has happened IMO is that you are collateral damage from the current TRAs, and you have gone from being tolerated to being lumped with the current self ID ideology.

I don't know whether you blame women for this, but you should be looking at the radical side of trans as its them that have shuffled and tried to load the deck.

There's no simple answer to this, the powers that made that wording would have to define it. I doubt they would be able too.

This makes me sad, the whole shit show of gender recognition.