Do you think 15 years age difference is too much?

[cheekycee]

my ex is 44 and I am 29. When we met I was 25 and him 40. Now I have stepped away it came to me that he could literally have a child my age. Is it weird? I didn’t really feel weird when with him although he was ALOT older than me in attitude in some senses (music taste etc). Just wondering - is it weird? Or is it “acceptable” do you think. Curious for opinions :)

If you’re both adults and happy with the situation that’s fine.

That said, I’d be less than pleased if my 18 year old daughter took up with a 33 year old!

Oh I absolutely agree. To me 18 is still quite young and child like (although legally an adult). Me at 18 I was definitely more child like than I am now. I feel when you get into your 20s it’s more “accepted” isn’t it

If you met at 25 and 40, I don't think it's an issue. It's probably the maximum age gap I'd be happy with though

I think it's fine. I had a boyfriend who was 14 years older than me when I was in my mid-20's. Lovely guy.

I have a 13 year age gap.
my sister has a 15 year.
however we both met our partners in out mid to late thirties which is a big difference

Yes its weird I know other posters will say it's fine and I'm sure as consenting adults blah blah but men probably want younger girlfriends/partners/wives mainly for their ego,and someone to nurse them in old age.

I don’t think it’s a big deal at those ages. 18 and 33, I would certainly have a different opinion but the fact you were firmly into your twenties and adulthood makes all the difference. As it happens, an ex of mine was 34 and I was 20 when we met. We were together a couple of years on and off and I ended up calling it off when I met my now husband. The age wasn’t an issue there, it worked because of chemistry and shared interests etc as with any other relationship. I saw him very recently actually, he’s still absolutely lovely.

On the opposite end of the scale, I’m (a youthful!) 56, and wouldn’t been keen on getting together with a 71 year old!

@Coffeeishot I'm inclined to agree with you, but it's taken me 30 years into my relationship to work this out and my partner is "only" 10 years older than me as we get older, the age difference is becoming more stark!
I'd certainly counsel against, if asked.

For me, yes.

15 & 30
25 & 40
35 & 50
60 & 75

None of it sounds great tbh!

At 19 I hadn't lived at home for 2 years and had bought a house of my own. It was none of my mother’s business who I was sleeping with. (As it happens, a 34 year old.)

It didn’t last, of course, and I had a string of older boyfriends before settling down with DH (18 months older than me) in my mid-20s.

Still friends with that particular ex. He’s married to someone older than him and has just retired. I can’t help but think how dangly his balls must be now! 🫣

I was brought up at a time when it was traditional for the man to be older than the woman. In my parent's case my father was five years older than my mother and this was considered normal at the time.

Both my sister and I ended up marrying men nine years older than us. In hindsight I'm sure that was because ofpsychological reasons rooted in our childhood.

Much as my DH was a decent man the age gap.was very telling in our attitudes and what we enjoyed in life. I couldn't imagine being happy in a relationship with an age gap as big as the one in your marriage. And tbh I would be a bit suspicious about the motives of a man who wanted a relationship with a woman so much younger.

BUT there really is no hard and fast rule is there? It depends in the individuals concerned. I do think though being with a much older partner has drawbacks which you aren't really aware of until you are living in the relationship .

I don’t think it’s acceptable. I probably did when I was 20/30/even early 40s when my attitude was much more liberal. But. Now single and in my late forties, I have been asked out a few times by some ‘men’ - one who is 35 and one who is 22. I’m horrified at the thought of it. They are children to me who know nothing about life.
now I’m older I’m also have female friends who did this, and it was fine when they were 45/30, not so much at 50/65 or even for one poor friend who is simply a nurse when all her friends are enjoying their retirement at 65/85

I agree! Now I am 29 I even feel 24 is too young - it’s telling how they talk too!! They’re kids aren’t they? Even though only slightly younger than me I couldn’t do it especially not 15 years!

I don’t think it’s ideal especially as you were quite young. If you had been 40 and 55 it would seem much less of an issue, but when one partner is still quite young it creates a power imbalance I think. Also when a man in his 40s is with a woman in her 20s it just screams dirty old man to me

Yes my dad who is 63 was not happy when he found out d out us I must admit.

“Screams dirty old man”🤣 you’re not wrong to be fair I mean this man turned out very controlling so I do think he draws for younger girls so control

It depends what relationships and life you experienced before. It’s not just an age thing. I was in my 30’s and DH in his 40’s when we met. But, we both had experienced meaningful relationships, traveled the world, lived all over the UK and progressed in our careers before getting together so we were content in our lives and what we had both experienced before we met.

If I had met him at 25 it would not have been the same because I was not the same.

I think it varies by what stage you are in life.
20 and 35 is not fine
30 and 45 fine because probably at same stages of life
65 and 80 not fine as one is newly retired with lots of plans for making the most of retirement, travel etc and the other has done all that and is now elderly

Many people say that age is just a number, however, age may be age-related health issues too. I am 58 and, no, I would not want to date a 73 year old if I were single.

It's really down to what you want out of life yourself, you're still young and he's heading to middle age.

I had a significant other in my 20s who was 12 years older than me. At the time it was fine. He was established and successful. We broke up in my very late 20s.

I met dh who is a year younger. I am now nearly 65. I often feel blessed that my dh is nearly 64 but if I had stayed with my former significant other, my dh would be 76 and likely to have been retired for 11 years. I don't think that would be easy now.

Met EXH at 31, him 50. Fine. (Although looking back there were waving red flags)

Me 50, him 70 and changed into a misogynist, abusive, controlling arse who thought I was too old for him.

Divorced. Highly contentious and resentful (on his part) and he was highly abusive to his teenage DD and was denied custody.

But not all men are like this. What I am saying is; 30s - OK
When you get to your 50s and they are over 70 - terrible idea. It is too big a generational gap over 15 years difference.

I think its kinda creepy of him, but its not unusual either. I dont think very highly of men who have much younger girlfriends.

Its not my business though obviously and its not illegal. I think it says a lot about a man though.

I had a 15 year age gap in a orevious relationship, yes it became too much as he got older. now I have a 10 year and it's fine but definitely noticing the difference as we are getting older.

OP I’m the same age as you and recently finished with a guy from work who was 48. He ticked a lot of boxes: gorgeous, lots of money and very generous, great in bed, dressed great, funny, smart, a complete gentleman. I had a lot of fun but I eventually realised that we were just too far apart in age for a serious relationship, and especially on the question of kids. I still can’t get my head around how some people can see a problem in a relationship between a 29 year old woman and an older man. IMO the same people just tend to be bitter.