Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

was about a foot smaller than me, so everytime I met him out I’d have to bring out the kitten heels, I nearly had a hump on my back by the end from hunching over to make myself appear shorter. He also had a tiny tiny penis thin and short. Poor thing

This has given me a right case of the giggles. 😂

Different people but a few more:

Discovering one of his exes looked exactly like me (do you like me or just still fixated on her?)

Discovering one of his exes was the spitting image of him but he refused to see it

When he asked if the (London) tube went to Oxford

Wasn't 'Stinky Winky' one of the Tellytubbies?

I haven't seen a coin purse for many years!

I used to stay over at his quite a bit and one morning he told me he asked questions in my sleep. Things like 'What's my name?' 😬It totally freaked me out and still does over 40 years later.

Ex boyfriend said “Shall we grab a bite to eat?”
Dunno why it gave me the ick - maybe a subliminal reaction to the thought of him grabbing and biting anything - including me…..

I snogged a bloke I met in a bar once, and he called a couple of days later and invited me over to his to watch a film, and he'd cook for me etc, etc. He was drop-dead gorgeous, funny and intelligent with a lovely house. I felt pretty chuffed that he'd called. Anyway, I was at his for a couple of hours and he was getting ready to start preparing food. But I was getting the serious ick... The reason..? Instead of saying yes whenever the need arose, he'd always say 'aye aye captain'. I pretended I had received a text about something that meant I had to shoot off early. I got out that door as quickly as I could, leaving him with a wooden spoon in hand and a very surprised look on his face.

he’d work when the office was closed (he was security) And I’d go and see him and EVERY TIME he ask for a BJ - begged me to swallow and the one time I did I threw up in the bin - it was bloody nasty. Influenced massively by porn. Tried to make me gag on his little button mushroom! I ain’t no actress

His real name was Bernard

He wore red shoes on a date.

First of all, this was many years ago!

I was around 17 and was staying over at my boyfriends house while his parents were away. We generally socialised in a group and it was unusual for it to be just the two of us.

There was a succession of peculiarities....

I wasn't allowed to sit in a particular seat on the 3 seater sofa as that was where his Mum sits..... The armchair was where his Dad sits so that was a no go area too.

He offered me a nighttime drink.... it was a cup of tea served in a teacup with saucer!

He had to turn off every power switch in the living room including a clock that had to have the time reset every single morning.

He arranged to meet me one evening and brought along 100+ Christmas cards for me to sign my name, along with his Mum's individual signature, his Dad's individual signature, his and mine. I had never met any of these people. We had been 'together' for about 2 weeks at this point and when I declined he showed me that they'd left a space for my name after an 'and....' so would have to rewrite them all without a name in that space.

A mutual friend said his parents had a sit down meeting with him to find out why I'd ended it and his parents sent my parents a letter saying how disappointed they were with me and they hoped they could persuade me otherwise!

I know this may be shallow of me but all of this has stayed with me for many years! I dread to think what would have happened if I'd been a different personality!

He now lives next door to my relatives (in a house his parents chose and paid for, despite him now having a successful career). He's still single.

Oh, the thimbledick!
What gets me is that guys with, um, bigger than average apps don't make a 'big' thing about it.
But if you're told "I'm big", you can bet your bottom dollar you'll see 4 inches!

This is more common than people think. 🤣

Jesus Christ. The autism is strong in that one! (I am also autistic before anyone freaks out).

Noisey breathing
Thin penis that i could feel "bending" inside me
Musty clothes
Long nails
Always "tired"
Annoying child like text language
Being really stingey
Always something "wrong" or drama

As a teenager I dated a 17 year old boy who would literally lick a plate of good clean. Absolute ick.

This has absolutely cracked me up! What was it about that particularly that gave you the ick... Can you put your finger on it? 😂

The one with the terrible jokes

"Why am I like a mushroom?"
Me "I don't know "
Him "because I m a fun guy" (fungi)
Er yuk. Cringing after 25 years still.
Should have said because he left mouldering socks and icky pants on the floor that looked slimy and damp before we were six months into the relationship.

That’s disgusting. I don’t know how you continued after the first fart.

He was kind, considerate, attractive, attentive: the list goes on. But sadly he had what can only be described as child bearing hips. His waist to hip ratio gave me the most dreaful ick and thus the slow fade begun from me.

It just didn’t feel very manly 😂

Was that in Cheshire? I might know him…

@BobbyBiscuits seriously that is the funniest thing on this thread among many, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 was anyone fooled by his amateur airbrush techniques ?

Bit harsh.