Funniest reason you got "the ick"...

[singlewhitetrashheap]

A fair few years ago, I was with a really hot bloke from the Netherlands. Tall, dark haired and really good looking. He was also nicely endowed in more intimate areas.

We'd had sex a couple of times and were just learning what we both liked etc. Third occasion is in full swing, and he's on top. He pauses for a minute, and let's out a really loud fart which ordinarily wouldn't be an issue because they're funny. It was really nasty and we had to stop so I could open a window. Fortunately we weren't being loud.

We're getting back into things and I can tell he's getting close but he starts moaning really loudly because he's ALSO farting really loudly and is trying to hide it by moaning like a porn star, and then there's the fact that he can't hide the smell, and it hits me again and the over performative moaning/the actual farting, and the fact that the entire street must have heard him, meant I just couldn't do anything but laugh and gag.

Neither one of us finished and he was mortified. I couldn't stop giggling. It made him sulk. I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, any sexual attraction I had, completely evaporated. Fortunately, his flight home was the next morning and I didn't have to spend days with him. We never met up again.

How his mouth move when he talked. Delightful chap, but couldn’t get passed it knew i could never ever kiss him.

A guy who had really bad breath, but only sometimes. It was usually fine, but sometimes smelled like he’d been eating shit. I meant to have a kind word with him about dental hygiene but he dumped me before I got a chance 🤷

Remember when Just Seventeen and Miss magazine used to do articles on getting boyfriends to eat more pineapple or something to make it taste better? God the 90s!

Haha no, I thought I could get past it at first, but I couldn't. His zip up grey cardi didn't help, either 😂

But he was a nice person.

Whoops I've also managed to quote the wrong person - sorry about that! This was in response to the name Bruce.

Oh God, these are getting worse 🤢

Baby-talk. Makes me shudder with horror.
One guy used baby-talk during sex. Absolutely grim. I felt like he was cos-playing a paedo and I was the “child”.

I ended it, he was devastated, and he made a song-and-dance about it all over Facebook. He stalked me for 6 months, sitting in his car outside my house and sending abusive emails at 3am. I should’ve reported him but I was actually too embarrassed to admit to police that I’d touched him with a barge pole!

Found out later that the whole time he was stalking me, he had a girlfriend anyway! Utter weirdo.

He said ‘You know I don’t read good’

Ah yes that's it 😆

Oh bless him 🥹
Reading this thread is very enlightening, from a self awareness angle - I’m now realising I’ve said yes to quite a few dates just because I’ve felt sorry for them 🤣

Ha I started this thread thinking I didn't have any, and have remembered a few!

Went out with a lovely interesting guy once when I was a student, he was a bit older, maybe 25 and I was 19, we had lots in common including some quite unusual things. But in person he had really dirty teeth, you could see the white "fur" on them. It was too gross.

Also went out with a guy at Uni and when we kissed it was like he was trying to suck my face off, it was disgusting. Literalyl covered in dribble... Weird thing was though that my friend dated him later and said what a good kisser he was! 😂

DH mixes up "your" and "you're" in texts. I think he's too lazy to find the apostrophe. Hasn't totally put me off him lol

When I was a teen I went out with a lovely guy but he wore tinted cover up on a few small zits on his face! I know how shallow I am as females wear make up, but it just put me off him

I have a gay friend who was being intimate with his new partner and he felt something protruding from back there. The guy said to him, ‘don’t worry it’s just my haemorrhoids’.

It could be autocorrect. It always changes your/you're in my phone, I don't often notice until I've pressed send. It's embarrassing

I went on holiday with a couple of guys, both who were potentially bfs, but probably not.

I took a bunch of photos of the trip, and caught one of them drawing in biro over pictures of his own hair to cover his bald spot.

In biro?! I guess it was pre-photoshop/filters?! 🤣🙄

Dated a guy for a couple of months but the initial attraction waned pretty quickly.

When we went for dinner, whenever he took a sip of his drink he would swill it around his mouth like mouthwash before swallowing 🤢- it didn’t matter what drink its was beer, coke, anything!

Also awful sex face where he pursed his lips together into a circle shape.

Also I didn’t notice at first (perhaps his hygiene was better at the beginning) but he had a bit of a BO problem and as soon as I noticed his lingering smell on my bedsheets that was it- not invited back.

Met a guy (I was late thirties and he was late forties).

He was a decent looking guy facially but had a bit of a huge belly.

I could have got passed that had he worn normal clothes but oh god no he loved his skinny jeans with his giant belly and skinny legs.

He also used the word 'lush' alot.

During sex his giant belly used to make slapping sounds off me.

I tried really hard to encourage him to wear other jeans but nope. He didn't get the hint. I haven't seen him now for years and I always wonder if he is still cutting about in his skinnies with his giant man belly.

Worst of all he loved being naked so he'd answer the door (to me) naked when I arrived at his flat etc to encourage intimacy I think but I was just repulsed.

The only way this could be worse, is if the jewellery was from Elizabeth Duke LOL

I've thought on another, a blind date who wore sunglasses indoors. No eye problems, not blind or anything. Just thought it made him look cool. I left soon after.

We'd had a few nice dates and he invited me over to his place for dinner. There was a tank of giant land snails right next to the table. I could have coped with that but the rotting leaves etc he fed them on attracted clouds of fruit flies which flew all round me when I was trying to eat.

At uni I had a proper crush on a bloke on my course. He was gorgeous. We had flirted back and forth and one day I finally snogged him. It was like kissing a washing machine. Instant turn off. He suggested we go to bed but I made my excuses.
It amazed me for so long that such a good looking bloke could be so bad at kissing.

He did an impression of a meerkat on lookout....it was just too uncannily accurate (he had a small head, long neck, not enough chin...)

I think you are on the wrong thread...

I was 16, he was 18, and he took me to quite a nice wee sea-side cafe. Told the waitress he wanted an omelette and was really startled when she said 'what kind?' (Meaning, tomato, mushroom ...) After a moment he rallied, and said confidently 'A egg one!'

Not even AN egg one!

He probably ate meat the night before, hasn't flossed and it's rotted with mouth bacteria overnight. 🤢

We used to have a teacher at school we called Dog Breath, but that was insulting to Dogs.

I had a friend called Will like this - he had a whole little speach he'd give to women when he was trying to pull them:

"Hi, I'm Will - and I've got the WILL power to get you to go on a date with me because where there's a WILL there's a way....."

He was good looking and 6'2" so he actually did quite well with it! 😂