Potential relationship with asylum seeker

[Taxswellian]

Just that really. He is ten years younger. We share a sports hobby which is how we met. Same language. His asylum case is pending. My heart wants it. Small town in the north and think he'll stay here. My own child is an adult and in London so l currently live alone. Acrimonious divorce 5 years ago. Been happily single since. I'm slightly worried about being judged by family etc.

My sister convinced herself marrying her 10 year younger asylum seeker waiter was genuine. He disappeared once he got Leave to Remain.

Just saying op that his lawyer will have advised him to try and bolster his Art 8 rights (family life). Plus having worked in immigration I saw lots of older British women be taken completely advantage of. I’m definitely cynical after my experiences but the women often really believed the 20 year old Turkish waiter loved them (and not the small red book) and they were then left devastated after his left as soon as he got ILR.

I have no idea what you are talking about, and I suspect you don't either!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man not in possession of residency must be in want of a wife.

To slightly misquote Austen...

No man is as nice as one who is looking for a country, a warm bed and a woman.

This happened to a friend too. She married an Afghani. She was a good 10 years older than him. The case took forever. Once he finally got Indefinite Leave to Remain he was no longer so interested in her. He found a fellow Afghani woman who he could make babies with.

But in a previous post you said you are concerned about the power dynamic and the fact that he's vulnerable. Now you are making it sound is if there is no real imbalance of power. So if he's definitely going to get asylum and doesn't need a relationship with you as insurance, he doesn't need your money and he has no chance of getting you pregnant, what exactly is it that's worrying you about your family's reaction? All the usual stereotypes don't seem to apply and their concerns could be reasonably easily assuaged by the sounds of things. So is it just that he's west African and your 'conservative' family all racists? Because if that's the only issue it would have been much easier if you'd just said that in the first place.

'I'm developing a real closeness to a guy from west Africa and I'm keen to pursue it further but my family are racist and I'm worried about how they'll react.'

By the sounds of things that's really all we needed here. You have the rest all sewn up.