Are there every day hyperboles people use on here that particularly annoy you?

[CurlewKate]

“He cut his head open” meaning that he had a small cut somewhere on his head. “I pulled my kid out of school” meaning “I decided to move schools” And “I spat my tea on my keyboard” meaning “I found something mildly amusing” Although there aren’t as many of those anymore-maybe life has got more serious…..

On benefit or poverty threads when posters refer to people 'popping out kids', 'spawning more offspring' etc.

No one ever posts 'gift ideas needed please, my lovely friend has just announced she's going to pop out another kid'

When people say they are, or would be, "fuming", "raging" etc. I have nothing against women getting angry, I think it's healthy. But usually these "fumes" are because of something innocuous like someone not sending an RSVP in the correct format, or something.

MiLs always seem to be "demanding" on here. Never asking. Eg "Me and DH have a loose arrangement to meet MiL for lunch this Sunday. She's just rung demanding to know what time we're meeting"...

Not sure how ducks go in rows but that one, does not qualify exactly

Yes! ‘Pull my kid out of school’ why? It conjures up an image from East Enders of someone yanking their husband by the collar and screaming at them for looking at another woman. You’ve just decided to change your child’s school, that’s all. Perhaps you are a bit annoyed with the school about something but you can be sure 95% of the other parents are quite happy with it. So, there’s no confrontation about it. You tell them your child is leaving and they shrug. It’s really not a drama.

Everything is 'vile', from murder to re-using a teabag.

Today someone’s kid seemed to have spent the whole day ‘shaking’

"I'd rather stick rusty needles in my eyes than ...." usually applies to something trivial and mildly irritating. There are a number of variations of this phrase but that's the gist of it.
Horrible phrase.

'bashing', used to describe anyone making the slightest criticism of something (such as a national institution or a group of people) another poster holds dear.

In an eastend accent

'He's been rushed to hospital' 😭😭

Noones rushed to hospital these days tbh, they go after spending ages waiting to hear from 111

people "screaming in my face". I always briefly imagine someone opening their mouth (as in the painting The Scream) and emitting an earpiecingly loud and prolonged scream.

of course what posters mean is someone spoke loudly to them.

"crying and shaking" = a bit upset

And then they are "blue-lighted".

Yep. See also "shaming"

Everyday hyperboles that annoy me? God, there are millions.

Also add fainting = it's painful

You sometimes see threads about food contain lines such as “stuffing their face” or “shoving food in their mouth”. I hate that!

No one is ever a bit sad about something - always heartbroken or devastated.

Nothing is ever slightly unhygienic - always vile/rank.

When someone's other half does something a bit thoughtless or selfish or expresses a preference about something, even with no other context they are abusive or controlling.

Anything that is "my world"

🤣

Loads. I hate salary threads where people say 'pulling in 40k' instead of earning it. It isn't a sledge.

I also hate over emotive words used on food threads like 'shovelling in' or 'gobbling down'. Yuck.

”My anxiety is through the roof”
”I’m gutted (about something mildly disappointing)”
”I had x and very nearly died”

The amount of posters who are triggered by things. I sometimes wonder how they function in the real world.

I hate 'much needed'. As in 'much needed spa break/holiday/time with the fam'. I think that's hyperbolic?!

I absolutely can't stand 'I was sick in mouth a little bit' (no you weren't) and 'it boils my piss'. Well if you had boiling piss you'd be dead.

Also when someone says 'Im absolutely speechless' then proceeds to demonstrate for the next five minutes how they are absolutely not.