Are there every day hyperboles people use on here that particularly annoy you?

[CurlewKate]

“He cut his head open” meaning that he had a small cut somewhere on his head. “I pulled my kid out of school” meaning “I decided to move schools” And “I spat my tea on my keyboard” meaning “I found something mildly amusing” Although there aren’t as many of those anymore-maybe life has got more serious…..

Every slightly selfish person is a “narcissist”
Every slightly disfunctional workplace or family is “toxic”
Every vaguely unsatisfactory exchange with one’s DH sparks a long investigation into his search history, bank statements, texts, WhatsApp messages, you name it, and a “free half hour with a shit hot lawyer” (and I say that as someone who generally encourages people to get out of poor relationships)

When a poster says someone 'screamed' which means they raised their voice a bit.

It made my teeth itch
My fanny clamped shut

Horrible phrases. Especially the use of the word fanny.

Being 'obsessed' with every bloody thing when it would actually be quite rare to have a genuine obsession. It's so irritating. Just say my son is very fond of/really likes/really enjoys trains, or whatever.

Every MIL is a narcissist. DH is a mummy’s boy if he wants to spend time with his mother but it’s absolutely fine if a woman wants to spend time with her own mother

Pet hate of mine is "my OCD kicks in" - no, you did a bit of tidying. People who actually have OCD can find it impossible to function normally; it is no joke.

‘Gaslighting’
Is the gaslighter up a ladder igniting a lamp and wakening everyone up?
Is the gaslightee sitting in an ever increasingly darkening room?

It used to be called lies/ being deceived in days of yore.

Not hyperbole but when people say ‘ explain X to me like I’m 5’
ffs you’re not 5 you’re a grown adult , competent enough to use an online chat forum.

I hate that one. It's designed to shut people up.

Not really on here, per se, but I see it online a lot. When people are referring to things they bought in shops.
"I grabbed a loaf of bread... I'm just going to grab some bananas..."

You're not "grabbing" anything! You took it off the shelf in a sensible manner. Grabbing implies you angrily snatched your loaf of bread.
The same goes for "I just picked up this jar of coffee."
Why can't people just say "I bought this coffee"??!

People don’t just say things. They STATE them

I also hate the phrase "tucking in".
"I was sat there, tucking in to my dinner, when X happened."
JUST SAY "EATING".

"Tucking in" makes you sound like a middle-class twat of a 10yo fresh out of an Enid Blyton book from the 50s.

"Tuck in everyone! Rah!"

I think it's because everything is in writing now - text messages, social media, email - and people struggle to get tone across.

If I tell one of my kids face-to-face that I'm angry with them they can tell where I am in the anger scale. Whereas if someone emails me they'd likely feel the need to be fuming, so that I know they're properly angry, rather than a bit grumpy.

@Words My vacuum cleaner actually did blow up. There were flashes, sparks and smoke.

People also use "obsession" as a strawman when they get pulled up on shit behaviour. For example, they'll say "What's the obsession with DNA?" when they get called out for lying to their child about their biological parents, or "What's the obsession with other people's gender identity?" when a man wants to compete in women's sport. Understanding the importance of a subject doesn't make you obsessed with it, FFS.

No one is ever a bit sad about something - always heartbroken or devastated.

Or "grieving" or "traumatised".

'Confront'

If mil/neighbour/child's teacher does something a poster doesn't like, it's always "should I confront her?'

No-one just speaks to anyone any more.

And anything unpleasant is 'horrific' or 'obscene'.

Every vaguely unsatisfactory exchange with one’s DH sparks a long investigation into his search history, bank statements, texts, WhatsApp messages, you name it,

I remember one long thread in which the op had seen that her dh had a suggestive email from a woman with an Eastern European name. Sensible posters were saying 'it's spam' - which it almost certainly was, I've had similar e-mails. Others were insistent the dh was having an affair.

Devastated…disappointed definitely, but ‘devastated?’ usually due to an evening invitation to a friend’s wedding!

‘screaming in my face!!!’ This seems to
happen on a very regular basis to mumsnetters

shaking and crying! Because some old man said ‘hello’ to their toddler in the supermarket and they’re worried they should’ve done more ‘to protect them!!!’

’Spiralling!’ Everybody spirals! When they’re not ‘shaking and crying’ they’re ’spiralling!’

And the opposite - 'I politely asked her....'

Why the need to specify that you asked politely? Aren't you normally polite to people?

"Call out", fucking hate it. To me it's being challenged to a fight in a pub...

@AllMyExesWearRolexes

I always imagine the guy from the Ricola advert yodelling on a mountaintop.

I’ve also noticed this in reverse.

I have a friend who will say, for example, “he came off his bike” and the dramatic tone would confuse me until I realised she meant he FELL off his bike….but she’ll never say that, she lets the tone convey it.

Likewise “He put the windows in” in dramatic tone to mean he smashed the windows.

But she will also say “he cut the top of his finger off” when all she means is he nicked the skin at the top.

Trauma, traumatised, safeguarding concern, abuse and abusive

Healing - this one really bugs me. Just say get better fgs.

'Lying'.

It can't be that the person was mistaken, or they didn't have all the information, or the situation has changed. No, they must have lied.