What do I say to Friend who hasn't contacted me for 15 months

[snakeface]

Just got a bright and breezy message from friend of 10+ years who ghosted me since Jan 2024. Saying it's been too long and they would like a catch up if I fancy it.

Through most of our friendship I was v supportive of her as she was in a terrible relationship with her emotionally and financially abusive partner. She finally left just before COVID, again I thought I was supportive.
She was always a bit flaky, making arrangements to meet then cancelling at the very last minute. In fact I had stopped making dates that included our children because mine would be very disappointed when they came to nothing. I always made excuses for her, but felt she was treating me like her partner treated her.
She met someone new in 2023, which I thought was brilliant, no one deserved happiness more, but I soon realised that I was no longer needed or wanted in the picture. Maybe she only had time for so many people? Or that I reminded her of the bad old times with her ex. Or she didn't want to introduce me to her new partner.
Our last contact was me sending her Birthday wishes Jan 2024.
Her latest message was today. How do I say I wish her well but it's been too long. She obviously didn't value our friendship as much as I did and she only messes me about when we did use to meet up, without sounding petulant or bitter or like the door mat I know I was?
I really wish she hadn't bothered, I was more or less over the friendship break up before this message

Not mortally offended, but I wouldn't consider them a friend any more if they hadn't made contact in a year. Pretty simple.

All this "I'm soooooo busy" - absolute bollocks. Such trash. Nobody is THAT busy they can't pop a 20 second WhatsApp to check on a friend. If people have time to doom scroll, sit in front of the tv, wait in a car at kids activities, queue at a supermarket till, wait for a kettle to boil, take a walk, or post on sodding Mumsnet, they have time to send a message to a friend.

Not got "time" for that really? Then I'm obviously not valuable enough to that person and I'd rather not bother with them.

OP didn’t send her a card, she sent her a birthday message to which the friend did respond to and friend suggested meeting up

No, that didn't happen. Otherwise we wouldn't be discussing it?

friend ignored birthday message and then messaged to meet 15 months later.

I had a friend who did similar once. Ghosted me for a year then suddenly texted out of nowhere. So I texted back: “who is this? Do I know you? If I do I must have deleted your number, sorry.”

I think the most important thing here is that when she got back in touch you say feelings of inadequacy flooded back to you.

I've got friends I see weekly, yearly and one who, after no contact for a decade, invited me to her birthday. With all of them, there's a bond and we pick up where we left off even if there's 10 years to catch up on.

None of them make me feel inadequate. It's not about the length of time, it's about what this particular friend uses you for. And the fact that she does use you, rather than having a good, reciprocal connection.

Why? Genuine question, trying to understand

that’s what OP said happened…

I sent her a Birthday message cos she'd moved and hadn't given me her new address. Previous to that I'd sent a card and given her a present most years of our friendship. She did answer my message and suggested meeting

Oh I thought that bit was 15 months ago.
now I'm confused

That did happen 15 months ago, there has been no contact since then until the recent message OP received. The posters were debating about whether or not a card was received or if the friend didn’t acknowledge OP…. So I pointed out OP said she didn’t send a card but a message to which friend did reply to…. Then ghosted her for 15 months