I know life isn’t fair, but I’m struggling with this

[Jealoussojealous]

I know life isn’t fair, and I know I will be labelled as horribly jealous, but I will admit it first, I am horribly, disgustingly jealous of her life and it physically hurts me to think about it. My ‘friend’ gets almost £1000 a month from benefits, mostly PIP which she is falsely claiming. She uses this money to visit her boyfriend of 4 months in another country. She is now over 3 months pregnant with this man, so she got pregnant almost immediately. She is now getting housed in a matter of weeks, either through the council, or privately renting with lots of contribution from housing benefit. She has never worked a single day in her entire life. I am working self employed 6 days a week, studying my uni degree, and have been with my boyfriend for over two years, yet I barely earn more than her, we live in a tiny studio which we both work full time to afford, and have been ‘trying’ (not really trying, more seeing what happens) for a baby for almost two years with no luck. She will be in her lovely flat paid for mostly by the government, with her lovely little baby, and will never have to ever work, and never has done, while myself and my boyfriend will likely remain childless, in a small flat and working full time jobs for the foreseeable future.

So why the mad rush to have a baby? You have loads of time. Why now, with a FT job, and studying for a degree and a tiny flat? Wait till you e qualified, have a better job, more income, and can afford a larger living space.

I think you are trying to catch me out in some way? However, you’re missing the point that she only has those things BECAUSE she has PIP, and if I took her PIP away, then she would no longer have those things. I think she wouldn’t cope, not because of her anxiety, but because any person would struggle to cope on a cut of £600-£700 a month.

Can we just have some very basic manners and not say "Get over it" in response to someone's issue that they find important enough in their life to start a thread about? That kind of rudeness runs people off and makes Mumsnet an ugly place for us all.

Thank you.

People who makes these threads have deluded themselves into thinking benefits are easy to get.
What they don't realise, is that it's the opposite.

Im sorry but this is very naive - there are plenty of people who know exactly how to play the system. I'm guessing people who make comments like this don't live in the kind of areas/come across the kind of people who make it their life's mission to not work a day in their life and get paid for it.

Not paid for by the government, paid for by my dh and other law abiding taxpayers.

Oh another benefit bashing thread. Haven't had one in about 2 days.
Don't be jealous. Just go on benefits if it bothers you so much. Or carry on with your own life and stop being friends with her. It doesn't sound as if you don't like her anyway.

Me and my boyfriend also.

Friendships are meant to enhance our lives. Honestly if it's making you feel this way, and you don't sound like you like her, just stop being friends with her.

This doesn't make any sense! You say you won't drop her as a friend because you want to be around to help her cope. But the only reason she won't be able to cope is because you are going to report her for fraud and drop her in the shit. Is that correct?

You are not her friend.

Jealousy of a fucking thief. Just report her. She is stealing.

Not even two days. This one, which is a bit more subtle, started up a few hours ago. Like this OP started by someone new or newly name changed.🧐

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5287728-game-the-system-disability-benefits

That would be correct however I’m saying I’m NOT going to report her BECAUSE of those reasons

Yes, it’s dysfunctional and a spectacular waste of energy. Why keep someone in your life if you only feel resentment and bitterness towards them.

I’ve been on mumsnet for a long time, mostly as a reader. That thread isn’t about the same situation as mine anyway, so I’m not sure how they’re connected in your mind?

They may be people who have first hand experience of how hard it can be to get PIP when it's legitimately deserved.

Watch the panorama program on this. It is a wake up call.

People who makes these threads have deluded themselves into thinking benefits are easy to get.
What they don't realise, is that it's the opposite.

How is the lack of having a baby her fault? Maybe you need to check if you both are able to have children?

It’s not her fault. As I said, I am jealous, and this is just yet another thing that she has accomplished so easily

Oooh, look another:

'My m8's cousins uncle pretends 'es gotta bad back an carnt werk, and just told 'em, and they gave 'im £30000000 a week without even ASKING HIM NUFFIN '

If you think it's that easy, claim it and sit through the entire process. I do it for work on a regular basis and currently around 50% (probably more) are turned down - this is for people with multiple conditions who have reams of evidence. I'm going to tribunals with them - which are taking anything up to two years to happen.

No-one 'gets pip innit' by rocking up with no medical evidence or concrete information about their conditions. They are then reviewed annually or bi-annually and have to go through horrible humiliating assessments (again) to continue getting it

Imagine being jealous of that kind of stressful life?

And yes, definitely need to get checked. That is my fault completely, I am terrified. As I said, I’m jealous, not necessarily rightly about everything

The other thread is more subtle but both will bring out the cunty ableist disability benefit bashers on MN.😘

She chose the state and an absent boyfriend to support her. Be careful or it could be you

Just start moving away from her and let her get on with it. You are going to end up much better off. Just focus on you studying

"Her evidence would be not attending school past year 10 and never working"

This is not evidence that PIP would take into consideration.