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Original poster

Need advice on clothes I want returned to me

169 replies

Pjsandpringles · 05/03/2025 10:04

I was on holiday last month and during my trip I got friendly with someone. When I left the hotel I realised I had left a few items of clothing in my hotel room. I messaged my "friend" to tell her how stupid I had been and also messaged the hotel to arrange to have them sent back to me. She offered to collect them and send them when she got back. I thought this would be easier since they would be in the same country and I'd get them quicker.

It's now a month later and she still hasn't sent them and isn't responding to my messages. Any advice on what I should do?

OP posts:
HundredPercentUnsure · 05/03/2025 15:23

Pjsandpringles · 05/03/2025 11:01

To let them know a teacher is a thief. I wouldn't want someone like that teaching my kids.

Why is everyone so ok with someone doing this.
Leaving them did not mean I lost them. The hotel would have sent them. She offered to take them back to the UK and post them to me.

Is it because they are expensive that I deserve it? If I thought I'd get them back by going to her house I would but if she's not replying to me how do I arrange that? I've offered to arrange a collection and no response

Show quote history

Bit rich to say she's a thief when actually you were just forgetful and left them behind.

That's not theft. That's stupidity.

And then - she offered to take them... and you gave her your permission to do that. Again, not theft, stupidity. Never trust a stranger.

I'd be annoyed at myself too if I'd lost £1k of clothes.

Hdjdb42 · 05/03/2025 15:24

I'd ask her when she'll be in for royal mail to pick up. Then you'll have the tracking number.

ForBluntOrca · 05/03/2025 15:33

People are weird! Of course you are not in the wrong, you trusted someone who you spent a whole week traveling around, I’d also trust this person if it came to this, it wouldn’t honestly cross my mind that she was offering as an elaborate plot to keep my clothes (yes you mentioned they are worth 1000 pounds but it’s 4 items and if they are used she would probably recoup a couple hundreds max on Vinted, etc). Who would risk tarnishing a reputation for that? Especially if you’re a teacher!

And also fuck that, I’d be threating her to contact her employee without a shadow of a doubt. If she wants to go around doing criminal acts she’d better be ready for the repercussions. Even if her employer decides to ignore (which is more likely) she still would have to deal with the shame and gossip. She’s free to do as she pleases but so are you, OP!

Oxforddictionary12 · 05/03/2025 15:34

It is very easy to jump to conclusions. Teachers are, in my experience, largely decent folk who are crazily busy most of the time. They don't get to stop at 3:20pm. There might be a reason for the delay that we don' know about.
I wouldn't give up yet, try to keep the lines of communication polite and open and don't assume the worst. It is frustrating but might all work out.

BrendaSmall · 05/03/2025 15:39

Pjsandpringles · 05/03/2025 11:01

To let them know a teacher is a thief. I wouldn't want someone like that teaching my kids.

Why is everyone so ok with someone doing this.
Leaving them did not mean I lost them. The hotel would have sent them. She offered to take them back to the UK and post them to me.

Is it because they are expensive that I deserve it? If I thought I'd get them back by going to her house I would but if she's not replying to me how do I arrange that? I've offered to arrange a collection and no response

Show quote history

I belong to many facebook groups of hotels and it’s very unusual for a hotel to return items left behind by post!

Velmy · 05/03/2025 15:47

Blankscreen · 05/03/2025 11:50

I get why you're annoyed but I think you're on a hiding to nothing.

You left them behind, you 'lost' them and have no real proof that she has them. She may have left them behind also.

I think you need to accept your mistake.

Read the thread! The woman signed to say she'd collected the clothes from the hotel and later confirmed to the OP that she has them.

OP - as others have said, message offering to collect/arrange a courier etc and casually drop the small claims hint. After that it'll be a Letter Before Action and then the actual small claims process, if you actually want to pursue it.

Normallynumb · 05/03/2025 15:48

Track her down and go in person even if she lives a flight away in the Hebrides

Firefly100 · 05/03/2025 15:52

£1000 value would cost ~£70 to go to small claims court. It sounds like you have proof that a/ she has them b/she agrees they are yours c/she promised to send them. That should be enough to prove your case. I’d carry on nicely nicely for a bit and then send a letter before court action and take her to court.

Neemie · 05/03/2025 15:55

It would be a real pain arse for your ‘friend’ to do that, especially as it is pretty standard procedure to pay for the hotel to send them on to you. I don’t think many people would offer to do it if they weren’t planning to scam you, except perhaps an indulgent parent.

Azandme · 05/03/2025 16:15

CrushingOnRubies · 05/03/2025 13:20

Hmmm should have got the hotel to send the clothes and lesson learnt always check all storage before vacating a hotel.

A month ago was start of February, which school/ teacher would be on holiday at the start of February. It wasn't half term yet and Christmas holidays were ages ago.

My thoughts exactly.

It wasn't half term...

Stravaig · 05/03/2025 16:15

If you communicate with her the way you're doing on here, that might be a clue as to what's gone wrong.

gladtidingss · 05/03/2025 16:18

I feel the same about my Paul & Joe top I left behind after a wedding 21 years ago. I'm sure the guest I was forced to share with (bridezilla backstory) stole it.

Luckypinkduck · 05/03/2025 16:31

I think 2 weeks isn't too bad, she might be busy and just avoiding replying as she doesn't have time to go to the post office. Could you message 'Hi sorry to pester but I need the clothes back asap as I need to wear one for X event. They were expensive so keen to get them back, can we sort out getting them back to me. Happy to pay whatever is needed to make it easy for you'

TorroFerney · 05/03/2025 18:07

Pjsandpringles · 05/03/2025 12:02

It's nice to see mumsnet hasn't changed in 20 years. Always good to have a reminder why I avoided it.

Thank you to those who were helpful I appreciate it. For the rest I want to thank you too for reminding me that people are actually generally awful and best to be avoided.

Another point of view, she isn't awful and she meant to send them, she said she had and she's now stuck in her fib and a bit paralysed and rather than saying sorry I just kept putting it off I will get it done she's just gone quiet.

Some people can't help themselves offering favours and then overface themselves and just withdraw rather than facing into it.

Snugglemonkey · 05/03/2025 18:28

KimP85 · 05/03/2025 13:04

If it was me I would be going down the petty route especially as she is now completely ignoring you. Message her again and say if you don't hear back from her in say 2 days you will be calling her boss and explaining the situation. I doubt she will want the hassle and embarrassment at work.

Do you think her employer will care? Op will just look mad.

largeprintagathachristie · 05/03/2025 18:33

This would have made a totally amazing Judge Judy episode (for those who remember it).

Wordsmith · 05/03/2025 19:41

Message her. Tell her you're organising a Royal Mail/Hermes whatever pick up of your items. Ask does she want them to be picked up from her home or her office? Say you will email her the packing label. All she'll need to do is put them in the bag, attach the label and be.in when the courier calls.

Mh67 · 05/03/2025 21:39

Is this post real. 3 dresses and a cardigan £1000 pounds. Are they made of gold 😂
my entire clothes collection is no where near that

DuchessOfNarcissex · 05/03/2025 22:05

Don't count on that. If you had to replace the lot in one go, it could easily be.

Pinkdreams · 06/03/2025 09:08

OP I'm intrigued what have you decided to do? Have you received a response from 'friend'?

ScarlettOYara · 06/03/2025 17:14

Snugglemonkey · 05/03/2025 18:28

Do you think her employer will care? Op will just look mad.

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True 😂! As if a Headteacher would have the time or the inclination to be bothered about this! 😂

TonTonMacoute · 06/03/2025 18:20

Send a message saying as she is clearly busy, you will arrange a courier to pick up the clothes, when is convenient?

Then do it!

Isinglass20 · 06/03/2025 18:27

Is the OP sure just 3 items of clothing is worth £1000 about £350 each.
If they’ve been worn and washed or dry cleaned they’re certainly not worth that much now.
Perhaps this friend didn’t think they’re worth the cost and hassle of posting them.
And OP misread this person as ‘friend’. More like ships in the night.

CleaningAngel · 06/03/2025 18:33

Pjsandpringles · 05/03/2025 10:46

Then I will go through small claims. And contact her employers

Show quote history

You will need her address for small claims court. I'd contact her employers

Daisymae23 · 06/03/2025 19:09

Have you checked Vinted to see if she’s trying to flog them?

If you know her employer you can call and leave a message saying you’re trying to get hold of her. If you know the town or village you could join their Facebook community board and ask if anyone knows her as you are worried she’s lost her phone and you need to get in touch.