Need advice on clothes I want returned to me

[Pjsandpringles]

I was on holiday last month and during my trip I got friendly with someone. When I left the hotel I realised I had left a few items of clothing in my hotel room. I messaged my "friend" to tell her how stupid I had been and also messaged the hotel to arrange to have them sent back to me. She offered to collect them and send them when she got back. I thought this would be easier since they would be in the same country and I'd get them quicker.

It's now a month later and she still hasn't sent them and isn't responding to my messages. Any advice on what I should do?

FFS RTFT! 🙄 OP didn't ask this woman to bring her clothes back to the UK and post them to her - the woman OFFERED! (OP's told us the hotel had offered to post them to her, but OP thought taking up this woman's offer would be quicker).
This woman told OP TWO WEEKS ago she was posting them the next day and OP's heard nothing since, despite offering to arrange a collection from the woman, which would spare her any effort. The woman is a piss-taking thief and likely always planned to keep (and/or sell) OP's clothes having seen them on OP whilst they were on holiday. How you can think taking legal action against such a person is "heavy handed" beggars belief.

She could refuse to let you in the house. Giving her time to hide them else where. Apart from asking the hotel on the off chance they are still there. You would have to treat it as a lesson learned.

Hmmm should have got the hotel to send the clothes and lesson learnt always check all storage before vacating a hotel.

A month ago was start of February, which school/ teacher would be on holiday at the start of February. It wasn't half term yet and Christmas holidays were ages ago.

If you are unsure about whether or not she would be in and understandably don't want a wasted 10 hour trip, then I would call at the school.

That would settle her hash. You can either go back with her to her house and pick them up or she can explain why she no longer has them and then you can go to small claims.

I'm another who can't understand some of the arsey replies you are getting here but guessing it's a bit of jealousy that you have expensive clothes.

Exactly THIS. 👆Poor OP must think she's going mad with all the loons on here telling her it was her mistake to trust this thieving bitch and she should just write off £1k worth of clothes - unbelievable! 🙄
@Pjsandpringles LBA, OP, and then small claims court if she doesn't return your property. I wouldn't let this go either (but I absolutely wouldn't involve her employer).

You're asking what you can do- you say you're not willing to write them off or make a 10 hour round trip on the off chance she doesn't answer the door- so not sure what else you're looking for? Nobody here can force her to send them back any more than you can.

Either you think a 5 hour drive is worth it for £1000, or you don't.
I suppose you could make a weekend break of it of she lives near somewhere nice.

I’m sorry you got a bad’un. As someone who travels solo a lot, I would also have done the same as you.

There are more nice people than awful people. Thankfully I don’t think you or I have the misfortune of coming across many MNers in real life and so have had some great experiences by trusting people.

Don’t let this experience scar you. Hopefully you get it back, if not, it’s all part of the learning tapestry of life! An expensive lesson, but a lesson nonetheless

When I was a child it didn’t matter what happened to me my parents would say ‘serves you right’. This thread has become a ‘serves you right’ thread. I don’t think you did anything wrong OP other than you were perhaps just a little too trusting of a stranger.

a 5 hour drive is cheaper than writing off £1,000
Basically, these are your 2 choices. Or you can try claiming it in your travel insurance, but I’m not sure they will reimburse stuff that you simply forgot to pack.

OP start a small claims process. You have to notify her by email or letter that you are starting proceedings, to allow her to either return the goods, or recompense you.
if you don’t have an email or address, you could send this letter c/o her work address, marked Private and confidential.

This gives her time to reply, after this you can start the whole process. It costs you a small, percentage fee, but it would be worth it to recover most of your money

Maybe so, but OP sending a letter there addressed to her, which no one else will see is not vindictive. It’s asking for her stuff back, and yes, fair enough she might have a lot going on but a simple text to OP to say so would put a stop to that. OP isn’t to know that if the woman doesn’t tell her.

Her employers probably won't be interested, but you are risking someone's whole career over a few clothes. She could be really busy and just hasn't got around to it.

This is on you for forgetting the clothes in the first place. Threatening isn't going to get you anywhere!

I think you are right to try a final pleasant approach message. If no response, then send a formal letter before action ("LBA") - you can find templates for this online. You would need this in order to file with the small claims court in any event, but it also gives your 'friend' warning that you're serious about taking further action and give her a chance to make amends. Allow her a reasonable time (say, 14 days) to return your clothes and provide tracking ref, or (my preferred option), arrange a courier and tell her they will collect on X date and to please have the items ready for collection. If no response, or your courier is not presented the clothes, file your claim with the small claims court. Your communications with her and the hotel, and your LBA are all admissible evidence, but you will also need to ensure you have her correct name and address for the claim, and have receipts or some proof of the value of the lost clothes. The most likely stumbling block to a successful claim is how you will evidence which clothes you left behind, as she could deny what you claim she collected and say it was a few raggy holiday clothes of insignificant value. That will be for the courts to decide on the balance of probabilities, but let's hope it doesn't have to go as far as a county court claim. I wish you well with it and please keep us posted.

Have you checked Vinted?

I have read the thread, and what I'm saying is that even though she offered, she may be struggling to instigate this. For whatever reason. This is exactly what I would do - offer up help without thinking about how it affects me and then feel stressed and overwhelmed, as I have ADHD.

My suggestion was to try and identify if this is what's happening and try to help the situation before jumping to the conclusion that this person is a begging thief who will only respond to legal action.

You said she has a business. Does she have a limited company? Companies house may have her address on if she's a director.

A school has enough to do without replying to random emails. But I think you’d have a case for small claims court. I’d send her one last message asking for the clothes and/or a reply, and tell her you will be pursuing a claim if you don’t hear back.

She didn't do a final sweep of the hotel room before leaving which is pretty basic. I thought everyone did this!

And didn’t pack the clothes she took with her on holiday…

So you left over £1000 worth of clothes with a random you met on holiday?

That was silly!

I agree she's probably a wrong 'un and it was just a silly mistake on your part but I'm not sure what you can do about it now?

Is this the new "stolen Dyson" thread?

Hope you get them back OP

Chalk it up to to experience. You have lost those clothes as the 'friend' has no. intention of returning them.
Put it behind you and move on.

I wouldn’t accept and would start small claim action, which is quick and cheap.