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Original poster

What would you do? Buy house next to parents!

127 replies

Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:01

I currently live in a house where the location is ideal, but I hate the house. I have spent a lot of money making improvements, but I still hate the house. It’s a money pit and it will always need money spent on it. I resent the fact that any spare cash gets spent on the house and I still am not content living in this house. However, The garden and outside space is amazing. The location is perfect, ticks all my boxes. The garden is very sheltered and in the summer it’s a sun trap.

My aging parents (in their 80’s and not in great health) live 10 miles from me, I visit a minimum of twice a week, Lately, I have been visiting more as there has been health issues.
I am an only child so every thing falls on me, which I am fine about.
My parents live in a rural location by the sea so it’s very windy and exposed.
My father has made it clear, that he will never leave this house unless he is in a coffin .

The house next to my parents is about to come up for sale . When is say next door, There is a field between the houses. The elderly man that owns it, is going into a care home. He has been my parents neighbour for 40 years and they have always got on well. My parents will miss him as a neighbour and are concerned about who could potentially move in.

I am thinking about buying his house…

To do so, I would need to sell my house first of all and the gentleman is willing to give me time to get organised so I am getting first refusal.
His house is a small cottage which if I was to buy, I would be mortgage free. I would also have funds from my house sale to put on an extension and completely modernise the existing cottage to meet my needs

The advantages…..
mortgage free, hopefully nice living space, everything new so no financial upkeep for the next 10 years or so. Not driving back and forward to parents.

Disadvantages….
Living next door to parents,
my mum is always on neighbour hood watch. I am not sure if this would annoy me.
The biggest disadvantage for me is the weather, the wind, the driving rain, and even on a sunny day, it’s still very windy. It’s a completely different climate to my house which is 10 miles inland.
I also believe that me being in close proximity, my parents will come more reliable on me.

Advantages for my parents, there are so many. Me moving closer to them will definitely enhance their remaining years. My parents want me to move.

What would you do?

OP posts:
lostoldname · 02/03/2025 09:04

How long does it take you to drive to parent’s house.

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:07

lostoldname · 02/03/2025 09:04

How long does it take you to drive to parent’s house.

Depends on whether I get stuck behind tractors, combine harvesters in Autumn, but on a good day about 15 minutes.

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 02/03/2025 09:07

One thing you don’t mention is work. If you work out of home how would this affect your commute? And if you WFH would your parents understand that they can’t just pop in during your working hours?

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Dogaredabomb · 02/03/2025 09:09

Do you like the new house?

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:10

Another influencing factor, I can spend another 50k on the house that I am in easily, but it won’t increase the value by much.

The cottage near my parents is definitely an investment for my pension pot!

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:12

EmpressaurusKitty · 02/03/2025 09:07

One thing you don’t mention is work. If you work out of home how would this affect your commute? And if you WFH would your parents understand that they can’t just pop in during your working hours?

I work in the local town so from the house I am in just now I am 5 miles from my work, from my parents it would be 7 miles so not much in it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:14

Dogaredabomb · 02/03/2025 09:09

Do you like the new house?

It’s a small dark cottage which has not had anything done to it in 40 years. I would rip it apart to update and modernise it and would have the funds to do this.

OP posts:
Butterflyfern · 02/03/2025 09:15

Can your mum see you coming and going? Ie is the field in between big enough for you to have some privacy?

Do you have the sort of relationship where you could be very frank and upfront about the sort of support you will be able to give?

madaboutpurple · 02/03/2025 09:18

It does seem that moving would benefit you in a lot of ways.

PermanentTemporary · 02/03/2025 09:18

At first sight it sounds like a no-brainer - I would move in a heartbeat.

I'm amazed that the climate is so different if you're 15 mins away. If it's windy I'm guessing the outlook is nice. Could you add a conservatory for a warm space to enjoy the outlook without so much wind?

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:21

Butterflyfern · 02/03/2025 09:15

Can your mum see you coming and going? Ie is the field in between big enough for you to have some privacy?

Do you have the sort of relationship where you could be very frank and upfront about the sort of support you will be able to give?

My mum would see everything and everyone coming and going to the cottage.

Her mobility is poor and she sits at the window watching the world go by.

To be fair, Saturday is a working day for me, but I was off yesterday and my mum said “don’t be visiting us, enjoy your day off” So at the moment there is a respect that I do need time to myself.

OP posts:
Iloveeverycat · 02/03/2025 09:23

As you only are 15mins away I don't see why it makes a lot of difference. Are you near retirement. The next time I move which will probably be the last place I move to would be something like a bungalow or on one level as I know the problems my parents had with their stairs so am thinking ahead.

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:24

PermanentTemporary · 02/03/2025 09:18

At first sight it sounds like a no-brainer - I would move in a heartbeat.

I'm amazed that the climate is so different if you're 15 mins away. If it's windy I'm guessing the outlook is nice. Could you add a conservatory for a warm space to enjoy the outlook without so much wind?

Yes, it is very open to the elements. Also the sunsets are absolutely amazing!

OP posts:
Nannyfannybanny · 02/03/2025 09:24

Do you see yourself being happy in the cottage near your parents when they are gone? I think that is something you should factor in. Is there a partner or kids you need to consider. If I hated a house, I couldn't live there. There is no perfect house,in the perfect location unfortunately. If you loved your house I would stay stay put,you have the best of both worlds. This was me, only child,df terminally ill, his 3rd wife used to go back to where they used to live to look after her elderly mother in her 90s, but I had just worked a 12.5 night shift (nursing ironically) he was almost an 80 miles round trip and I was the sandwich generation,my youngest was 9.

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:26

Iloveeverycat · 02/03/2025 09:23

As you only are 15mins away I don't see why it makes a lot of difference. Are you near retirement. The next time I move which will probably be the last place I move to would be something like a bungalow or on one level as I know the problems my parents had with their stairs so am thinking ahead.

At the moment, I can’t see me ever being able to afford to retire as I have to keep ploughing money into the house I am currently in. The maintenance and upkeep is very costly.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 02/03/2025 09:28

Your current house sounds like a nightmare, though the cottage sounds like a potential money pit too (it's not thatched is it?) But obviously youve worked out that the finances stack up. I think you'll regret it if you don't move.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 02/03/2025 09:31

Get a good survey, an old neglected Cottage near the sea may have a lot
More issues than just old fashioned decor. Prices of renovation have gone up hugely too.

Just make sure you go in with eyes Open.

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:31

I am a widow and my children are adults but all live in close proximity so no one else to consider.

OP posts:
GreyAreas · 02/03/2025 09:34

Only if it makes you excited. And you need to factor in some kind of sheltered sun trap because it sounds like your garden is important to you. And maybe a ten foot fence for privacy from the neighbours... actually that's a good point, would your parents be good neighbours to you or would they try to have a say on all your choices?

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:37

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 02/03/2025 09:31

Get a good survey, an old neglected Cottage near the sea may have a lot
More issues than just old fashioned decor. Prices of renovation have gone up hugely too.

Just make sure you go in with eyes Open.

It’s not thatched.
i am aware that the cost of materials and trades have all gone through the roof.

I am very lucky that I know a lot of reliable good tradesmen. So hopefully getting
an extension done shouldn’t be too difficult a task.

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 02/03/2025 09:46

I'd snatch it up as an investment and because I love wind and rain.

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:47

GreyAreas · 02/03/2025 09:34

Only if it makes you excited. And you need to factor in some kind of sheltered sun trap because it sounds like your garden is important to you. And maybe a ten foot fence for privacy from the neighbours... actually that's a good point, would your parents be good neighbours to you or would they try to have a say on all your choices?

I am not excited about it, I see it as a way to get out of my current property…

I can afford it,
I can afford to upgrade it,
No chain,
It is not on the market and the owner is giving me a period of time to sell my house.

With regards to my house selling, If I’m realistic and not greedy, it will sell.
I would like to think my parents would let me get on with things my way.

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 02/03/2025 09:48

When your parents are gone, would you inherit and move into their house? The cottage could become income property, then.

Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:49

BettyBardMacDonald · 02/03/2025 09:46

I'd snatch it up as an investment and because I love wind and rain.

With out a word of a lie, I am very glad that I have never succeeded at weight loss plans as I would get blown over.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzelgummage · 02/03/2025 09:50

BettyBardMacDonald · 02/03/2025 09:48

When your parents are gone, would you inherit and move into their house? The cottage could become income property, then.

Yes, I am to inherit my parents house.

OP posts: