What would you do? Buy house next to parents!

[Worzelgummage]

I currently live in a house where the location is ideal, but I hate the house. I have spent a lot of money making improvements, but I still hate the house. It’s a money pit and it will always need money spent on it. I resent the fact that any spare cash gets spent on the house and I still am not content living in this house. However, The garden and outside space is amazing. The location is perfect, ticks all my boxes. The garden is very sheltered and in the summer it’s a sun trap.

My aging parents (in their 80’s and not in great health) live 10 miles from me, I visit a minimum of twice a week, Lately, I have been visiting more as there has been health issues.
I am an only child so every thing falls on me, which I am fine about.
My parents live in a rural location by the sea so it’s very windy and exposed.
My father has made it clear, that he will never leave this house unless he is in a coffin .

The house next to my parents is about to come up for sale . When is say next door, There is a field between the houses. The elderly man that owns it, is going into a care home. He has been my parents neighbour for 40 years and they have always got on well. My parents will miss him as a neighbour and are concerned about who could potentially move in.

I am thinking about buying his house…

To do so, I would need to sell my house first of all and the gentleman is willing to give me time to get organised so I am getting first refusal.
His house is a small cottage which if I was to buy, I would be mortgage free. I would also have funds from my house sale to put on an extension and completely modernise the existing cottage to meet my needs

The advantages…..
mortgage free, hopefully nice living space, everything new so no financial upkeep for the next 10 years or so. Not driving back and forward to parents.

Disadvantages….
Living next door to parents,
my mum is always on neighbour hood watch. I am not sure if this would annoy me.
The biggest disadvantage for me is the weather, the wind, the driving rain, and even on a sunny day, it’s still very windy. It’s a completely different climate to my house which is 10 miles inland.
I also believe that me being in close proximity, my parents will come more reliable on me.

Advantages for my parents, there are so many. Me moving closer to them will definitely enhance their remaining years. My parents want me to move.

What would you do?

I'd do it. There are lots of advantages and being mortgage free would be awesome. It doesn't have to be a forever house. Look at it as a 10 year plan, amd an investment.

Yes I did, and?
I have that much means that I die first, before it gets spent.
Gives you certain freedoms.

I’d move . At the end of the day @Worzelgummage as the only you are inevitably going to end up doing more for your parents as they get old , unless you choose not to , and aside from the wind this place sounds much better for you .

It sounds perfect - I'd definitely move in your situation. You will have a house next to your parents that you can renovate to your own specification and get away from your present house that you aren't happy with. How great to have a project too - very exciting. It will make life easier for you being on hand for your parents too.

Regarding the wind, I'm sure you'll find solutions - make it cosy and well insulated indoors and plant a windbreak of trees outside in the garden. The field is a huge bonus too - sounds great!

me? I'd do it. My house is the other way around, lovely garden but there are things about both the location and the house that I would change if I could.

As long as it’s on the beach and not perched on a cliff top, it sounds like a dream! I hope you get a Good survey result and end up remodeling the cottage to your heart’s content. Bonus to be across the field from parents. So much time saved, and peace of mind always.

It’s perched on a cliff top!!

I live next door to my DM85. When she bought the house next door 25 years ago everyone thought we were mad. But when I had my DS she looked after him when I went back to work and did so until he became a teenager and she loved it. They still have a lovely relationship.

Now DM is showing signs of dementia but so far we have been able to manage this as we are just next door when she needs help with anything. DH looks after her garden and she joins us for meals every evening. I know that without our help she would be really struggling now and I'm happy to repay her for all the help she gave us over the years and it's so much easier with her being next door.

A previous poster asked whether you would be happy to still live next door to their house after they have gone and this is a really good point.
I do think about it and something that does worry me to be honest but I won't know until the time comes.

Ooh I'd go for it, think how lovely a wee cottage will be as you get older

But as they get older they need more help. It’s a fact.

It sounds like you definitely need to move, the question is to where.

How much does your suntrap garden Vs windy and exposed matter to you? It's quite a lifestyle change.

Could you potentially move to the bungalow, renovate it, be easier for you with your parents and then sell it on when your parents aren't next door anymore?

Do it. It sounds like you want to.

Grow something tall along the border

If your parents are going to need more help from you it's a no-brainer

In fact I think it is anyway

Sounds like my idea of heaven, I want to be by the sea.
But not sure how moving counties fits with caring responsibilities for adult DC & would have to persuade partner he's not going for it at the moment - I spend alot of time looking at Rightmove 😁

Yes in your position I would move. I'd love to be close to the sea and mortgage free. My father's in his late 80s and I'm constantly driving backwards and forwards. I'm currently.looking for somewhere nearby for him to.move into,.to.be nearer to me.

I worry so much about living so far from my Mum who is starting to struggle with some things, so to be nearby would be amazing (currently a +5 HR drive)

I'd look for an affordable house which I didn't hate, possibly a bit closer to my parents' home but definitely not next door to it.

DO NOT buy

… a house perched on a cliff top exposed to the wind and rain. Research our changing climate, wind driven rain is set to increase a lot. As are storms.

Also don’t buy an old house you want to rip apart and “make modern”. Just buy a house that actually works for you and your needs. Otherwise you’ll just be fighting against the natural characteristics of the house like you have been already. Don’t make the same mistake twice.

Sounds like something a character in an airport paperback would do.
Therefore you have my blessing.

I know exactly the kind of windy property you describe . I live near one . But modern builds can do so much to create sheltered areas as opposed to wide open. Even a good excuse to put up a wall / screen between properties for privacy . You seem to have already done as much as you can to your own and still not happy. I will do similar when the time is right . Sell my current property that needs maintenance and buy new energy efficient retirement place incorporating all the helpful features .

Warning though , don't count on inheritance. With both still alive and fairly young it could be eaten up by Care fees .
Sounds like a good plan . So much easier to be able to call often but briefly and on hand for emergencies. Good luck and start etching out your own Grand Design .

You are seriously going to live in a house at the top of a cliff in a very windy area?

Agree to buy it tomorrow and set about your plans to make it happen. Just that really. Good luck xx

Sounds awesome to me but just how close to the edge is it? 😀 How rapid is erosion of the cliff, or is it stable?